A childhood spent in Hollywood, a father who was beloved by the entertainment elite and all the shiny things money can buy; Carol Sorkin Hunter’s life should have been a fairy tale. Shadows lurked behind; a near fatal electrocution at eight years old, her mother’s Mafia brothers, and a sinister sexual experience triggered a personal journey. Carol’s life spun out of control, she tried to slow it down with a sugar addiction. Spanning from World War Two to the attack on the Twin Towers, Hunter experienced two failed marriages, and at a time when it wasn’t common practice to divorce, she was granted a new trial after secretly tape recording her father-in-law admitting his son was a bigamist. The divorce settlement allowed her to live and paint in Rome, she returned home to Los Angeles, married again and gave birth to twin daughters. Her second marriage- to a bi-polar husband- became volatile and she once again divorced. As her confidence plummeted, her hopelessness grew. Poverty threatened her very existence. From this low point in her life, Carol heard words that triggered her journey toward self-worth, the fulfillment of her talents, and by Divine Accident, her soul mate.
Prayer to me is essential everyday. It certainly was evident this past month.. My daughter traveled to join her boyfriend in another state. She met him for a few days and flew back on Sunday. By Sunday night he became a little incoherent, he couldn't be reached. By Monday morning he was so ill he was taken to the hospital. He caught Covid -9 and my daughter was extremely scared. She is a single mother raising three daughters. Through God's miracle she didn't contract it and just a week ago got her first shot. So grateful and blessed.
Coming from my background made me always aware of glamour , opulence and prosperity. putting on a pretty façade made life more bearable. I couldn't tell my parents that I was broke, it meant failure. Cereal with water had to suffice. My family sadly weighted success with who you knew and how much they acquired. Especially my Mafios
I cannot take a taste of real sugar. Not one little bit. Too many times I tried to test myself only to fail. It has been a life lesson for me. I did not even taste my wedding cake, what could be sweeter than that? An alcoholic cannot take one sip, a smoker cannot take one puff. I know only to well it is a mind trigger that plays tricks on you...it has been over 42 years without real sugar ... I did it 1440 minutes at a time.
I just got a call that my daughter's significant other has covid.-19 In a moment's time lives are now being reflected on. With years of study and endurance I know Divine Wisdom takes charge, it provides a sense of comfort, calm and answers. Often people are frightened when they realize that they are alone under dire circumstance's, but these events can bring the greatest answers and healings.
"May the force be with you". There is a power in the Universe and it is available for you anytime, anywhere,, it is good and it responds to the level of your belief. Let go of any anger, disappointment and hurt allowing your mind to contemplate greater strength, happiness and success. It took me a long time to begin to feel worthy of God's love, but when I finally made the connection to the power it never ceased.
H=Help, E=Electromagnetically,' A= Align , L=life Believing that vibrations are always responding to your mind . When there is a lack of harmony and peace within you one can demonstrate chronic depression and despair. Healing begins with the realization you manifests as Perfect, mind, body and spirit.
GREED:=G=Gluttony, R=Robs, E=Everyone , E=Else's . D=Deeds We are living today in some unchartered territory . Our lives are a never-ending series of events. May we embrace our perfections as well as our imperfections and be love in every encounter .
A number of years ago I was privileged to accompany Ian and Marie, Ian's private secretary to fly to Washington, D.C. Ian was going to appear before the Supreme Court. It was a case against the Teamsters and "Complete Auto Transport. What an experience ! Each side was allowed just thirty minutes to plead their case. Unfortunately missed RBG .she wasn't quite there yet.
I had an eating disorder, and I was told by a practitioner" once it is declared and removed that I would be free of the condition . It can never return" I am here today, forty three years later free from the urges that had such power over my self control. Never doubting the power that is available to us. I am no different than you, but my faith is unshakable. It was "One Day at a Time .
" Faith without works is dead." For many years I lived with fear, I could not bring myself to believe I was worthy of success, happiness and love. Slowly and steady I began to heal., but it did not happen over night. It took time realizing that my prayer with God, became a regular part of my life. Prayer became my personal strength giving me an inner approval. When I finally changed my negative vibration's into positive one's , real humility and awareness became rewards.
Who would have thought in an era of lasers, supersonic speed, digital trends that the world would be faced with a pandemic requiring us to be isolated and wear masks.? My faith is unshakeable and under the worst of times I am reminded that my Mother at 17 years old survived spinal meningitis without any anti- biotics and lived to 95 years old. i personally have survived storms because something inside kept telling me I could make it and God would guide and sustain me. May we continue to be guided , guarded ,directed and protected .
These acronyms I have found to be useful. I believe in a vibratory response to words, why certain words are formed and the the vibration they create?. Such as Sin = self - immoral- need or Death= d=divinely - e=entering -a=alter -t=to h=heaven .I the others I share with you and I am certain you can add some of your own. Blessings
Once I changed my behavior I Never, never ever gave in to my addiction. I was given an opportunity to change my life and this time I took it. Too many times I tried to give up my sugar addiction , one time it was over eight months without any sugar and I fell prey and failed miserably. The trick that seemed to work for me was "Not to test myself", Maintaining a strong sense of conviction Never, Never ever give in . I became invincible . This inner strength had kept me going for over forty-three years. Amen
Today, there are so many angry, unhappy people unable to accept other people's faults. Now, we are being confined to limited space , wearing protection and being constantly monitored. This is not a time to be angry , but giving each one of us an opportunity to discover , to reflect and to grow spiritually.
Sandra and I were inside a Medina in Fez , Morocco shopping when a gentleman approached me and made a strange offer. "Would I stay with him in Morocco and he would give me 500 camels? What an offer! I certainly refused due to the fact I already was happily married and what would I do with 500 camels ? Upon returning home I often remind my husband what I gave up for him., but he is worth it..
I am often asked "Why isn't my prayer answered? Perhaps there is something better for you. ? I believe everyone can demonstrate .and if you have not produced acceptable solutions or answers look deep inside your own heart. Dissolve any anger or unwillingness to forgive Instill in your mind, that good is without bounds. Only good and loving kindness shall follow you.. Infinite Possibility surrounds you. Know that "It is done unto you as you believe" I do not question the answers but, remain strong and patient trusting that Divine Right Action shall prevail.
I found out how strong I was when being strong was all I had. I was pushed to my capacity of hardships it was time to either give up or give it a "One more time "push. I chose to act. I used the power available to me to begin to heal. It took time , effort , courage and faith. Along the path I was strengthened by the amazing and gentle demonstrations.. I didn't look down or up I just keep going the reward was feeling a sense of comfort and inner joy. I was healing . May you see and feel your inner strength. .
I have experienced great despair and magnificent healings. I am no different than anyone else, but my faith is unshakable. We are tested at various times in our lives, particularly now with the the Pandemic . We will find real solutions and comfort. I pray you find peace. P=perfectly, E=establish, ,A C=calm, E=environment. As Ernest Holmes stated. "It is simple We are surrounded by an infinite Law that can to anything. There is no limit to it and it does not know anything about big and little " May you accept only that which you wish to experience..
Forty three years ago I was addicted to sugar and my life was out of control I found that "One day at a time" really works". On my journey ., I learned steps that worked, I do not test myself into thinking " I can handle it.. I learned that every day and every hour we are meeting the eternal realities of life and when we co-operate with these eternal; realities in love, in peace, in wisdom and in joy - believing and receiving - we are automatically blessed. Our prayer is answered before it is uttered. Blessings
We are now experiencing a world filled with anxiety, death and darkness, which is frightening some very strong people we know. Today, let's turn our thought to positive good. and consciously retreat from the world of effects into the world of causation. Let us together create a world of joy, beauty , healing and love. A world of abundance, harmony and perfect self expression. Amen .
At this particular time in our lives, I find that some of these acronyms are useful. They came to me while writing my memoir and I have often found comfort in the words . I particularly find prayer , Purposely -Receiving -Answers- You- Earnestly -Request. helpful and Peace.-Perfectly -Establish-A -Calm-Environment , appropriate at this time.
I was a little white Jewish girl of seven when a neighbor picked up a hose and sprayed me for walking on his property. I was fortunate to have been raised "Color Blind." My father had an orchestra and the most important thing to him was, "How well he played. not what he looked like" Talent was the most important quality to him. He ended up playing for royalty. The Duke of Windsor, Harry Truman and Ronald Reagan., Prince Hussein of Jordan And the band played on and on.
I was so young in the late thirties. Depression was a word I did not know or feel. Fortunately, there was always music in our house. It helped through any hard times. My father played Saxophone at the "Waldorf Astoria" , New York, in my God-Father Emil Coleman"s orchestra. Throughout the years music has brought me comfort and joy, and at this particular time in our lives ,perhaps it can bring some sense of serenity and sanity to you. Stay the course xoxo
Today, we are faced with a new world dilemma, we all have the power to get through this. I believe that Karma is here allowing us to redefine our priorities. From Science of Mind ."We are surrounded by an infinite Law that can do anything. There is no limit to It and It does not know anything about big and little. But what the Law does for us It must do through us. " Therefore we must consciously and subjectively accept only that which we wish to experience. I healed my life with belief , courage and love . I know we will all grow stronger and wiser . Abundant love and Blessings.
Yes, Mr. Harvey Weinstein you received compensation for what you deserved. I personally have great empathy for anyone having been manipulated and forced to experience a sexual encounter without consent. My monster called me over and over again for years, asking me ,"What did I think it could have been me?" I was so paralyzed and embarrassed it remained by secret for over four years. Sadly, there were no caller IDs, and no one to monitor his calls. I was a young and naive eighteen year old without experience in handling predators. May you never find yourself in this position but, if you do. Shout out loud and today thankfully the world will listen.
Yes, you can heal your body. I am living proof of it. When you are dealing with a consciousness of love and faith your prayer must be answered. One is given choices everyday and practice making wise choices. Addictions are cunning, clever and costly. I think back to my wedding cake, with one little bite I would have destroyed all that I had accomplished.; yes I was that compulsive. One loves to celebrate great moments and triumphs in life but, the reward is the control you have acquired over the trophy. With faith and God it is going on forty three years without real sugar. .
I have to often become my own hero. Trusting that Good is mine , seeing , feeling and knowing it.. My life changed when I finally felt I deserved to be happy and worthy of a beautiful one.. It often takes courage that you never thought you had. to change. Letting go of the drama and restlessness that is in the Universe sometimes requires me to go into a quiet place and just know that there is a greater Power in the Universe to take care lovingly. God knows and God shows .
Addictions are everywhere and one has to be prepared to meet them head on. It has been a long road and I have thankfully and gratefully adhered to rules. Rules that have made me a success. Years ago I would test myself , even after months and months of sanity all it would take was one little taste. I know it sounds ridiculous but an alcoholic, smoker, over eater, an addict all would understand. Today , with abstinence comes strength , courage , balance success . I am dedicated to remaining constant and happy . Abstinence sustains me.
My life might have been totally different had the man called Frank Sheeran in the movie , The Irishman succeeded. We were in Arlington , Virginia and Ian came upstairs and said"Frank Sheeran threatened to throw me out of the fourth floor window". Fortunately, Ian left Frank and came into the room in one piece. My life was constantly surrounded by the Teamsters, and Car Haulers. Being that my Mafia Uncle Moe was friendly with this life and I loved my Uncle I accepted it. Ian was a true gentleman among the group and he has remained so.
I just saw the wonderful movie about Mr. Rogers. He stressed forgiveness. There was one incident with a man who had an abusive father. I could understand perfectly well how he felt. When you are confronted with the pain and fear of an angry person it is frightening and hard to forgive. It took me years to realize the person was so broken inside they were numb and void of feeling. I eventually found compassion and forgiveness and that made my life better as well as my children's. .
One never realizes that there life is controlled by compulsion and insanity until it might be too late. I was selfish because as much as I cherished my children I took risks to keep my addiction satisfied. It was a common problem I found out at meetings. When I gratefully discovered a solution to stop the insanity I was jubilant. The healing was an answer from God with a promise that for me to remain sane and healthy I must abstain. It is a promise I continue to keep today.
It has been such a long journey , learning to trust again. I felt all alone, no one understood what was going on inside of me. When you find your sense of well being so fragile and insecure you become nonfunctioning . Being single and raising children that doesn't work out so well. I prayed and prayed for answers and through the tears slowly came the answers The healing and demonstration took place in my mind and I began to trust .I mentally became empowered through faith and the healing is glorious. Amen
This past week we saw "Judy", it brought back many memories. At Barbra Streisand's opening show at the Coconut Grove there was Judy Garland sitting off to the side looking like the a frail little old woman. It made me sad to see how manipulated she was being introduced to shots and diet pills at a young age. At one of the parties my father played at he met the "Hollywood doctor" and the next thing I knew I was on diet pills and shots. It continued for years I thought this was how I was to live to stay thin. Thank God I was wrong !
I thought I was so clever and no one would notice my secret . I used to eat in my car ,or my room and preferably alone. It would all come crashing down when we had beautiful parties in our home and I was expected to attend. One of the saddest memories was when I got too large for my dresses and had to sit all night with a large black velvet cape on . It seemed like forever and that nothing would ever change but, my belief in prayer, God and courage the healing began.
It was a magical night revisiting a life like my father had. The music, dancing, manners and attire were stories he talked about. My father never graduated high school and taught himself how to play the saxophone, he was wonderful, but a tough act to live up to. History has shown me that the music lives on and on.
I have found that the moment I begin to pray , the power of my words begin the internal healing. Energy forms a vibration that perpetuates through everything . It is the Power that made everything. It is Absolute and will not and cannot be denied. Keep your thoughts clear, simple and peaceful , it should manifest in a peaceful and successful manner. It has always humbled and amazed me at the miraculous results.
To this day I have not had Café Latte's , Smores , Confetti squares, Pumpkin Cheecake, Muffins, and my daughter Lisa's Chocolate Cookies. The list goes on and on. I gave up sugar so long ago without looking for rewards. I was a sugar addict and I knew I was on a path of total destruction ! Okay, this was what I gave up , but what I received in return ...I do not need glasses , I hear perfectly, I do not require medicine . I can walk miles unaided and remain agile. It is an amazing journey and I am sharing it with you. Love and Blessings
'When I had my first glimpse of you, I fell in love. I was a girl and I hope you weren't disappointed. I heard Mothers were wonderful people and had to pay big price to bring us safely here on Earth. You taught me hope, when I had despair. You gave me faith when I had fear. You changed my doubts into certainty and unhappiness into joy , and you gave me love when I had anger. For this I am grateful and know I was blessed to have had you as my Mother.
"No one wants to hear, you are not trying hard enough! You can do better! When you have a self-inflicting and wounding addiction that is with you constantly you are trapped. When all you are feeling is defeat, make a choice ; be brave and push harder. Step out of your comfort zone and Provoke -Unconscious, Senses -Harder.
We have certainly seen examples this past week of holding hatred and violence in one's heart. The energy that is creating and destroying cannot be changed, but the form it takes can. My faith sustains and guides me as I honor exactly where you are on your path.
Worry, is constantly a source of concern in one's life , it is such a waste . We spend so much useless time projecting fear and disappointment that the energy will certainly respond to us . The Universe is offering us choice : to proceed forward knowing that we are Divinely, Guided, Guarded and Protected or stay trapped in our web of fear. There are no promises that we will succeed with our efforts ,But the energy is non judgmental and loving . Never Give Up !
I was looking for signs in the Universe to guide me. Reluctantly, I listened to my mother and Bless her she was right. Ian and I just celebrated our 40th wedding anniversary. Ian was my third husband and after two miserable marriages it is a miracle that we both found the "Loves of our lives" . I wore the same dress , actually I wear it every year on our Anniversary. To have it fit is in itself glorious. I continue on the path as I remain centered, spontaneous and loved. That is so special xoxxo
It was so gentle, simple and unnoticed , I hardly knew I was on my healing path. I fought for years with addictions and they always won. I was painfully drained and exhausted all the time. The main causation was I was ready to let go ; let God and it worked. It was so much easier to stay grounded and comfortable with myself. I wrote my memoir to sincerely offer my healing , it is easy to say it is a Miracle, but I do not know any other way to describe it. I have stayed on the path and have no regrets just Gratitude.
Words have power, and how you use them can build success or destroy it. I believe that there are sounds we make that create a vibration to carry us through difficult times. For instance faced with temptation and desire , hearing words like, "I will not fail" I can do this "I am worth this " If not now when? The following are acronyms that are God given and I share them lovingly.
The famous Dr. Joseph Murphy , who wrote "The Power of your Subconscious Mind. was kind enough to meet with me. He shared his wisdom , but I wasn't ready to commit to helping myself. It didn't happen overnight it took a while longer of punishing myself until I finally stopped the insanity of sabotaging my life It took just as much effort to plan, adapt, and commit to an abstinence as it was to keep on driving, shopping , indulging and destroying myself. I did it and you can do it. Know your weaknesses and strengths and never test yourself.
When the love of your life disappoints ,hurts and deceives you ,you are faced with a dilemma . Do you once again subject yourself to humiliation or are you stronger more resilient ? I found out how really strong I was . Once I had conquered my food addiction, and stayed committed on a path of success ,it was glorious. I was not going to let anyone coerce, manipulate or control me. Today, I remain with the love of my life , but he had to wait for me to once again let him in my life and we made it work !
I never starved from breakfast to lunch or lunch to dinner. I have come so far. from the frustrated woman who ate 31"Baskin Robbins "flavors in one sitting and still felt empty. Today I practice what I preach , I weigh my food , I exercise ,and I still keep a journal. I wrote my memoir to share the amazing demonstrations that happened when I began to accept that "I was okay and God loved me " May you make the impossible , possible !
In life we are often confronted with decision making situations. After being emotionally and sexually abused , I made up my mind to become so unattractive that nobody will want to touch or tease me again. I ate and stuffed myself to discomfort and obesity.. Strangely , it didn't work because no matter how unattractive I got there were still some men that just didn't care. My existence became a nightmare . I wrote my memoir , sharing how with the prayers and love of sponsors and teachers I found my way back to greater joy , happiness and sanity .
From an early age I learned to get acceptance, approval, applause and kindness from sweets. They never disappointed me, it was a wonderful feeling. As I grew up and often felt like a failure, powerless and weak I turned to my temporary gratification sugar. I believe one of the strongest attractions to addictions is it does not judge you.are accepted, comforted , relieved and happy. Today, I am living and succeeding without being seduced by my addiction One day at a time! Please take advantage of the free promotion Amazon is running for the next five days. There are simple steps to guide you using the wonderful energy in the Universe.
We take time so much for granted . You turn around and you are years older and hopefully wiser. After all this time I look back and find how grateful I am for the life that I am living today. It wasn't always that way ; I painfully had to learn discipline , order, self control, balance and moderation. Not for someone raised in the glamorous lifestyle I had. There were great inner battles I had to fight and my demons almost did me in, but with the blessings and prayers I am here , 1440 minutes a day!
I fought a sugar addiction throughout my life. It could have been alcohol, pills, gambling a number of compulsive traits . In order to survive and begin to put my life in order I had to change my everyday existence . I struggled with a food addition throughout my life. It doesn't matter the addiction it is cunning, manipulative and deadly. Our family recently lost two young nephews before they were forty due to addictions . I personally had to find answers to survive. The best one was to not test myself . I knew from experience "Just one cookie" would never work for me. You can't give a smoker one cigarette and say you are healed. It takes time, persistence courage and inner determination. I stayed away from sugar 1440 minutes years ago and this March it has been for 42 years without real sugar. Hallelujah !!! Our
The greatest challenge in life is discovering who you are. The second greatest challenge is being happy with what you find! As I have written I was born into the Jewish faith and then after years of searching I discovered "Science Of Mind" My heart, ears and mind were captured as I found I could do and be anything I wanted. It was up to me and my God to figure out the next steps. When I wrote my desires down on paper and looked at them acting and feeling as if they would manifest in my life. Would I really find love, happiness and joy? Yes, I did may you also be blessed.
Prayers are important in sustaining our inner comfort and peace. When we pray effectively there is no reason to not get the perfect answer. Everyday brings challenges and finding answers to the challenges helps us become more centered , more spiritual and aware of a power in the Universe that is there to comfort and guide us. I do not question the answers but, remain strong , confident and secure. I trust you find your perfect results!
There is a power in the Universe and it is available for you anytime, anywhere , it is good and it responds to the level of your belief. Let go of any anger, disappointment and hurt allowing your mind to contemplate greater strength, happiness and success. It took me a long time to begin to feel worthy of God's love ,but when I finally made the connection to the power it never ceased. May the force be with you !!!
Oh how sad. Once you have experienced a sexual episode in your life and manipulated at 7 and 10 the images are etched in your mind and you feel violated , ashamed and silent. I was about 18 and remained silent for many years. I would eat and grow larger because I did not want to be touched. Hopefully, this documentary will bring more light into these tragic events. Pray for the survivors.
I feel that in order to heal, it starts first in the Mind. I visualize the healing knowing that the body begins the healing immediately . Every second that one allows it to perform without a moment of doubt it does and in my case it has been amazing. One day I was working on a project with a hot glue gun and the hot glue squirted out on my hand, the next second my thought was, "God doesn't burn" I rapidly pulled the glue off and saw a red palm. On other occasions , a small amount has burned me I said "ouch"; the healing lasted for weeks. I kept dwelling on it.
At 35, I was told to" get my life in order". I share this remarkable miracle because I am no different than you! To this day I cannot explain my miracle, only that I believed , trusted and prayed with all my faith and heart. My faith is Unshakeable and has carried me this far , I am beyond grateful !. I wrote my memoir to contribute my experiences may theylovingly guide you. Amen
Wisdom , the ability to think and act using knowledge, experience and common sense. After years of trial and error, I finally had to learn what balance, proportion and preparation meant. Tonight the Oscars are on and many moons ago I was there! Only by my finding wisdom and using it effectively I had reached one of my pinnacles of success. Never, ever give up. Today is a new and wonderful day...Savor it... Please take advantage of a free book promotion this week.
The addiction is cunning and manipulative I had to be stronger than the urge to give in and I did one day at a time. I do not test myself. Through the years I know my weaknesses and my strengths . To this day I remain focused, I plan ahead, I use tools available like scales, new seasonings, utensils. Faith and prayer are part of my daily routine , smiling and contentment count . It is a far more peaceful existence now not having to think about weight and sizes .
There are three questions one asks before you want a demonstration. 1. "Is it for good "? 2. "Will it hurt anyone"? 3. "Are you taking something that doesn't belong to you"? The Energy in the Universe is powerful, loving and miraculous.Pray and release and await the magnificent demonstrations Blessings
Something magical happened when I wrote on my "I Desire An Image " card. There it was on a little card my three desires. Peace of Mind, A Slim and gorgeous body and a beautiful marriage. At the time I had none of these desires, perhaps I never did. I believed and wanted it to manifest; almost willing it to happen. It took more than wishing it took time, patience and I believe magic.
I wired myself so I could record the truth about our divorce. Little did I know years ago It was unusual to play tapes in the court room . When I found out that my husband was a bigamist that was the last straw . At long last I was in the drivers seat and I was not going to be controlled anymore.
I loved a fruit called "Chemoya" it is from Mexico and has the flavor seven fruits, enhanced with a custard like consistency. Imagine my excitement when I found one in the store. I carefully took the pit and planted it in a pot filled with dirt. I watered it religiously every week and all I saw was dirt. I would not give up even after seven months of nurturing it was dirt but, the faith that it would grow was unshakable. I envisioned it growing and to my delight and joy a little green spout appeared. I never gave up!!!
Not in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would be living in Michigan. I imagined it to be like "Greenfield Village", what a surprise I got. My earlier life was filled with going to the "Cannes Film Festival", Oscar night where I gave up my seat to John Travolta. Premiers like "Star Wars" It was a fantasy world and yet I found it so lonely . My father never was home with us on "New Year's Eve. He was being flown to five separate parties. Hollywood has changed so much that for me it becomes a place to visit ...not live there.
When being strong is the only thing left you find out how strong you really are. Having had the privilege of owning beautiful cars, I was now left without any car. A bike and the girl's little red wagon became my only transportation. I had to remain focused and find my inner strength. I didn't want to waste my energy on being sad and depressed . I pushed every day to work hard until I could afford a car and I did.
One day is 1440 minutes. I was fixing some lights on the tree. It was filled with beautiful lights and in an instant the plug came out and the tree went dark. We are approaching a new year and I cannot emphasis the importance of living right now in the moment. Learning to cherish each minute as one never knows when the plug is pulled. I know we are divinely, guided, guarded and protected always, but love yourself and share your greatness "Just for Today"
Loved the movie "Green Book". It was so reminiscent of my childhood; my mafia uncles and the large big band orchestras. In Hollywood you were judged how great a musician you were and not by your DNA. I remember seeing a young, Sammy Davis Jr. dancing with his uncles the "Will Mastin" trio st Ciro's on Sunset Boulevard. My uncles would have large wads of cash , what was a credit card?
To look at me today you would never realize I had an addiction. It has now been over forty-one years without real sugar. I was such an addict that I ate all 31 "Baskin Robbins Flavors "in one sitting and I was still hungry .That really scared me because with an addiction there is never enough. It doesn't matter drugs, gambling ,alcohol the addiction is cunning and manipulative I had to be stronger than the urge to give in and I did one day at a time.
P=Purposely ,R=Receiving , A=answers, Y=you, E=earnestly , R=request. When I asked the Universe what prayer was...this was the answer I received. There is great power in words and I believe the way they are said can bring about magnificent healing. a=
I have been so blessed and I am very grateful. This journey hasn't always been easy yet somehow I have experienced magnificent miracles and I am no different than you . These are some of the lessons I have learned on the path. I lovingly share them.
My whole life would have been different had I delayed my departure from Rome. I did lithography and etched the stone .I sent one of the ten to "Associated American Artists" in New York. I waited and waited for weeks and then months to hear something from them. I didn't want to wait any longer so I packed up everything and flew home. I gave up waiting .. After a few weeks back in California I heard from "Associated American Artist" they wanted to buy an edition of 100 , which ultimately were sold around the world.
What Mary Austin and Freddy Mercury had was not unlike my life with Alan, but she would not marry a bi-sexual man and I did !! Bi-sexual men have a charisma and devotion that is magical and controlling. I personally loved the movie , the music and the acting. I felt Mary's dilemma in loving Freddy Mercury ,aka "Queen". I was so grateful that Alan did not get Aids because he certainly frequented the bath houses often.
Just saw the movie, " A Star is Born" and it was great. Bradley Cooper plays an alcoholic . He eventually goes to AA meetings, it brought back profound memories of all the days and months I attended meetings. I went to help my addiction which was food. I had a sponsor and the "Big Book. Today marks over 40 years of abstinence from sugar. "One day at a time"
It is amazing to me today, how I tolerated the abuse and torment that was my marriage to Charles. My self esteem was so low and I felt defeated . I had to find another way to cope with my life...I found answers and success and this is my story , how I accomplished this...
The powerful ways people exhibit their hatred toward one another is unacceptable. The sound and vibrations the word incites brings sadness and despair . I wrote the following acronyms because I believe words carry a vibratory energy..
Have you ever heard the creepy music of the Theremin? It has been used in many Hollywood Movies such as "Spellbound, The Lost Weekend , The Day The Earth Stood Still" and many other films. It is perfect for Halloween . It is done with hand motions , vibrations and it creates sounds.
Growing up in California during World War 2 was frightening. Today, when I pick up my grandees from high school and hear about the lock-downs that is more than alarming. I am sure shortly the schools will be installing Metal Detectors and perhaps it has sadly become necessary.
To me, there are no strangers. I am quite comfortable meeting people and telling them about their dreams and defeats. People have broken down in tears or laughter, but there is a very fine line that I will not cross. The decisions that one has to make will be done by them. I will not make important life decisions , I will not frighten or manipulate individuals. That is not my purpose.
I don't ever question that God hears and answers our prayers. They are not always the way we imagine and want them to be answered. Accept it or not I believe that prayers are answered for our highest good. I further believe that we are here to learn and to teach and when the lessons are completed we move on...
It was living a nightmare seeing my life's decisions manifest in my children's lives. Jenny suffered for years and I feel for any parent having to deal with the situation. Panic disorder is debilitating and life altering. Jenny taught me through her courage and fortitude to forge ahead and never give up!
As I reflect back to the event that was pivotal to my life, it remains a beautiful demonstration of faith and fortitude. Stepping on the bag that held this validation of truth was triumphant . Yes, I was on the path and it felt glorious. I pray miraculous demonstrations for you .
I learned the lessons from my uncles very well. "Secrecy counted and Connections worked. That is why I deliberately withheld any information about being locked in a room and forced to watch a bizarre sex act . With their friends like, Bugsy Siegel, Mickey Cohen I swore myself to secrecy. For 4 years I didn't tell a soul.
It is so relevant today and I relate to exactly the same emotions as Dr. Ford. I kept silent for 4 years. I did not want to share for one reason , I had Mafia uncles and one knows he could have been taken out, very easily. That would bring more guilt and fear. I kept my secret going for years. I remember the event distinctly although it has been over sixty years.
It is quite pertinent today, with the "he said, she said". I will share my thoughts and opinion. I don't care if it was 35 years ago or 67 years ago. I personally remember with great clarity when I was only 18 and was traumatized. I did not talk to anyone about it for 4 years. Anyone coming forth with a secret like this has been living with it for over 35 years. I understand so well the conflict.
Everyday we are faced with challenges that can be mind changing. We have choices to make , hold on tight or give in. It can take great stamina , courage and fortitude to remain calm, stable and successful. I find that it much easier to grin and bear a situation rather than giving in or giving up. These are often lessons that are put in our path to educate and guide us. May Divine guidance keep us protected .
After being locked in a room and forced to watch two people having sex, I know that people are basically kind and good. Horrific events caused by one evil human doesn't mean most men will act this way. How we react is so important. I had to learn not to overreact but, to take logical action. Look around today and see all the wonderful first responders helping out with "Hurricane Florence" People are basically good.
It is difficult today to remember my life without decent transportation. I had legs and I had a bike. My mode of transportation with the twins was their red wagon. We made it work with laughter, courage, strength and faith.. At the time faith was my fuel and my love of God was unshakeable
Through a lot of pain and suffering I personally found a better way to live and think. I have given a brief description on the following pages. All I can share is that it worked and it is still working. I find being grateful and appreciative of our short time on this planet that we should honor and respect it as well as our bodies.
I think back to the days when I was hurting and struggling to find a better life. It had to get better, raising twin daughters , balancing work, cleaning , shopping and compulsive eating. On top of all this I had a weight problem. It took unshakeable faith to turn my life around.
I was able "just for today" to celebrate over 40 years of no real sugar in my life. I did it 1440 minutes a day. I share my downfalls and triumphs in my memoir. It worked for me and I pray in the event of any addiction that it will work for you. It requires faith, courage and prayer. In our own family within the past year we have lost 2 young nephews to addictions.
I am sharing the Acronyms that came from the Universe . Because there is such power in the word and how it is spoken, creates a vibration. I would often wonder why saying certain words brought about great anger or love. Here are some of the examples.
In times of stress it is easy to forget that we are supported, surrounded and immersed in an energy that loves and sustains us. Remaining calm and centered is not always easy when your life is being bombarded from all sides, under those circumstances I pray and it always works out in Divine Right Action...
The last book promotion was such a great success I am running it again. Please take advantage and read about real miracles that can change and transform your life. A Divine Accident offers simple steps to guide you. I wrote my memoir to share the practical use of this wonderful energy in the Universe to help you!!
HERO, today with the death of Senator John McCain we are honoring a real hero. I felt the words of a hero were: Heartfelt Efforts Reacting Outstandingly. It seem appropriate in describing a real hero. Someone who reacted in an outstanding way regardless of the danger. God Bless you John McCain. !!!
Through the years I have been healed over and over again. I am no different than you, but I have unshakable faith that sustains and maintains me. I share my miracles throughout my memoir to provide a roadmap to success. May you embody the marvelous healing energy available to us.
I know that it is like to lose a great talent. We only notice when the music stops, but in this case...it will continue on and on. Aretha was born gifted and shared her talent abundantly. She was a wonderful pianist and her voice was perfection. My father played the saxophone beyond compare, he was the Maestro, so in homage to Aretha and all the magical musicians , Thank You ...Encore, Encore !!!
I was supposed to be a grown up woman that did not have to resort to food to find comfort. I had found out painfully that it did not work for me. I wasn't an alcoholic , gambler or junkie I was addicted to food. But, I found a better way to cope and that was through prayer and how I turned my life around.
I do not care what you are praying for, but I believe there are some ways to demonstrate specifically , precise and perfectly. Ask yourself these three questions. Is it for good?. Will it hurt someone and are you taking something that doesn't belong to you?
I have come to realize that the Universe is non-judgmental , perfect and exquisitely effective. Therefore, we know that when we pray , our prayers shall be answered regardless of race, color or creed. I firmly believe this as I have experienced miraculous results.
We try to plan out our lives and it doesn't always come out the way we planned it. You have to be prepared and I am very impulsive ; therefore many of my own personal decisions were unwise. The most important lesson I learned was to make a blueprint and be very specific, then let the wonderful energy in the Universe make it manifest.
I was still trying to understand a husband who says, "he loves you and them explodes with anger the next minute. I thought maybe that is what husbands do. As a wife I was supposed to accept and be subservient I felt like a fool and embarrassed , this was my second failed marriage and I was trapped.
Even today, I go through challenges as I am sure you do also. But, my faith remains unshakeable even under the most major trials. As long as we are here on this planet, continue to face your battles with courage, resolve and bravery. The Universe is loving, powerful and in command . Do not ever give up.!!!
Ian proposed to me at the "London Chop House" in Detroit , Michigan. I was ecstatic, thrilled beyond my dreams. This was October and we planned to marry around Christmas. I flew back to California and Ian left for Washington. And, then I did not hear from him for days. Never calling to see how I was doing. I could not believe our joy lasted for only twelve hours.
No one might believe me, that I was emotionally and physically abused. At the time there were no "Haven" refuges for women to go to. I did my best to keep the girls and I safe. As proof that Charles had another side I saved the torn clothes and I wouldn't patch the wall when he threw things at me.
Words have so much power. There is a vibration that takes place. There is only one letter difference between can and can't. I used to live in a worried state ,money for rent, food, clothing, medical et al. On this path, have learned about faith , unconditional love and kindness. Send out peaceful loving vibrations.
My mind and body had taken enough abuse, this time I was taking control. For the first time in my life, I was embarking on a new and exciting path. My faith in God was unshakable and I began to love myself !!!
I couldn't continue on my path of destruction . It was killing me . I had to find the strength , courage and desire to change. Knowing my past failures and yes, triumphs I was about to embark on a new journey...a planned path for success. I could not question it, I had to make it happen. I devised a plan , one that I still follow today.
After my miserable marriage to Alan, I slowly allowed myself to find love, companionship and trust. I thought my judgment had improved, how wrong I was! Because I was impulsive and a sucker for compassion I once again tried to make it work.
I can still remember the electricity going through my whole body. It must have opened up some channels in my brain, because I have become quite clairvoyant . Science has proven some of this be valid. And I can certainly vouch for it..."There are no strangers"!!!
Years ago, Bi-polar was not a word one heard much about. I was not able to figure out the strange behavior that would control Charles. I never knew what he might throw at me , or attack me with. Then .a little while later he could not do enough for me. It was a living nightmare.
There seems to be a common thread that runs through children that have been molested and obesity. We are humiliated and shamed into a life of protection from the monsters. For many, like myself it became mandatory to fill myself up with food as a barrier from pain. .
After two failed marriages I was willing to try again . Yes, I still believed in magic, music and miracles. At 45 years old I found the love of my life. I know that there is a Divine Pattern and when we follow it, it demonstrates to the level of our belief.
I use this method of healing to stay focused. It is so helpful that I lovingly share it. It is at the end of my memoir and I thought it was appropriate to include. I live by this. I know it works and makes you and others feel great about themselves.
I did not often listen to my Mother, but this time I did. "Carol, give the poor man a chance.." Ian, had hurt me and I had been ripped apart and psychologically dismantled by the men in my life. But, I was armed with my restored self-respect. This time I listened and this is what happened.
It truly was a wedding that was fit for a princess. but I wasn't a princess and Alan wasn't a prince. From the moment I said , "I do" I was done. I gave Alan permission to control my life. And he did ,. from what to wear to how much salt I was using on my food. But, boy oh boy it was a magnificent wedding !!!
Surviving an electrocution at eight years old, was a miracle. Having a mass and hemorrhaging at thirty-four years old and having it dissolve was so magnificent that I never forget the dynamic healing power in the Universe . A Divine Accident, is my story and I lovingly share it.
It was about one-hundred years ago when my father boarded the London Tube and went to work. He was so young, yet so talented. He started at the" Savoy Hotel" in London and ended up at the "Beverly Hills Hotel" in California . It is an amazing act to follow. My early life was story-book magic.
I had no idea I was being controlled by Alan. My self-esteem had been crushed by my past. I welcomed the attention and consideration that Alan showed me and slowly he became my Svengali influencing every thing I did. My only voice was in my paintings.
It is difficult to try to figure out someone else's bizarre behavior when visibly they appear to be normal. Such was my marriage to Charles. He became a cruel and wicked man one moment and kind and loving the next. I was terrified to stay with him .
The moment you change your thinking to healing from hurting the energy begins to respond. It is as effortless as you make it. Some days were unbearable and other days were even worse, but I never gave up or even allowed myself the thought of giving up. All I can share is that it works, perfectly, silently and brilliantly.
P=purposely -R=receiving -A=answers -Y=you-E=earnestly - R=request. Please read the following acronyms that were sent to me in prayer !!!
When my father died suddenly, I stopped eating for three days. I didn't think that his death would affect me so. At times like this the house is filled with food, friends and family. For someone addicted to sweets, it was so powerful to find NO comfort in food. For me it was a useless diversion. I craved solitude .
Yes, the Law of Attraction is real, powerful and useful. I was able to demonstrate a new life, a wonderful husband and found it works finding the perfect home. I have illuminated various demonstration in the following chapters. It is a powerful tool and may you have great success !
My foolishness caused me to re-tear my rotator cuff. I did not want to go through the long arduous healing again in a sling. It was months before I could use my arm, so when I discovered a doctor in New York, who had a different healing technique I booked an appointment on September 11th , the rest is History.
At long last I found the courage I needed to survive. When I had to go to court , I was able to reverse the court's decision and was rewarded handsomely . In this Chapter I was starting to create a new path. I was still fragile , but strengthening my backbone.
Months after my horrible experience with my blind date, I did not want to live. I started to plan my extinction ,but gratefully my curiosity took precedence . I wanted justification and I was willing to fight for it.
Today, I look in the garage and see my beautiful black Jaguar car and can think back to the time when I had no transportation It seems unbelievable to me that I was raising twin daughters and living without real transportation. I literally had to put my feet on a bike and petal to work. Through faith and prayer , my life slowly turned around.
It takes planning to prepare to binge. I would have to make sure that I was alone. I would drive to the store to buy my favorite items. Peanuts, potato chips, ice cream , cookies and on and on. I would like to sit and read or watch a special show with all my props around me. Yes, it took planning and thank God I do not make those plans anymore. I explain in the book how I was able to succeed..
In my early years the only thing I understood was: "don't ask questions"! No one would answer them . Today, with the help of Google and Facebook you can find out just about anything. But, even today connections count. It still amazes me how little my uncles knew ,but more important was, "Who they knew"
I look in the mirror today and think back to the awful days that the mirror was my demon. We give so much power to the image in the mirror. Sweets was my Novocain. They soothed, comforted and sustained me through ugly traumatic times.
I have learned to trust this power unconditionally. All I know is that it works. There have been so many miracles and I am no different than you. In this particular chapter I arrived at one of my miracles.
How amazing the mind and body are to remain resilient in times of stress and fear. I share with you finding my own inner strength and courage for whatever has manifested in my life...The power is there for you!
For the next five day ,"A Divine Accident" is available a free kindle, Thank you Amazon
Here I was all by myself and I was confronted with a diamond back snake guarding the front door. It was a dilemma I didn't want nor train for. I was doing my friend ,"Casey Cagney Thomas "a favor staying with her while her famous father Jimmy and her husband Jack were away on business.
With all this wonderful love in the air. I too, found my perfect soul mate. It is so easy to give up and accept what life has dealt you...but I so wanted a good marriage, a kind and considerate husband and father to our girls. I share my story for you, how my life changed after so much trauma.
No one knew what I had been through, I was so ashamed to talk about it. I have seen so many overweight people try to stuff the sexual incidents away. But, it doesn't work. Until you face and confront the issue , take back your pride and courage , the inner rage goes on unattended.
With so much love in the air it is hard to imagine having to let go of someone you loved so much. I had to release Ian in order to survive. Our love story was the culmination of a man's great indecision , if he couldn't make up his mind I had to do it.
Through the years , I watched my daughter and many other people suffer from panic attacks. Since then we have learned some valuable lessons. One is to desensitize a fear. I know one woman who had to ride an elevator fifty times up and down and it worked. She was able to ride an elevator without panicking .
I believe that Jenny's panic disorder started early on with her out of control father Charles. She told me that "she didn't want to go to school for fear that he would hurt me when I was alone."
I cannot emphasize enough the power in the words. I believe that the words have vibrations and it changes from can and can't from , won't to want . When I pray I fully expect a demonstration. My faith is unshakable !!!
I froze when I saw the Can-Can dancers. It was my secret, the one I locked up inside me for four years. And, there she was in her Can-Can outfit dancing around. She had no idea what seeing her did to me again. The perpetrators never do !!
My father was among the elite in Hollywood Society. It was a time when being Jewish had a stigma to it. After the war many holocaust victims slowly arrived in California, their arms marked with numbers.
I was the only one responsible for picking up a fork , a drink or a pill. Only me, I could go on blaming others and I never would have learned how to heal . I willingly share with you what steps I took to heal.
I began not to care how I looked , it became my camouflage to keep away admirers. When the repairman came to fix the gas leak ...
I have found that the majority of people that overeat had unwanted sexual abuse. We eat to make ourselves so unattractive that no one wants to be around or with us.
I had only my firm belief in a power greater than I . I could not see or touch it, but I felt it. Never before was I so assured in a perfect outcome of every situation in my life.
This was not how envisioned my life. All I did from dawn to dusk was work. I couldn't find contentment for some reason I was always tired and miserable.
Our dear nephew Brian will be 44 years old tomorrow . It is a miracle that Brian is still here , with everything my sweetheart has been through. Brian requires 24/7 care . My sister Sandra and Charles are also amazing, Brian lives at home with constant care.
I found it hard to believe how my life had changed. In Rome I had a gorgeous Lancia Aurelia like a Maserati; now I had only a bike and the girl's Radio Flyer red wagon.
I am including more of my acronyms. One of my favorites is HAPPY = Having a Perfectly Pleasant Yippee !!!
I found great power in the word. I questioned why certain words were formed the way they were. I started forming my own acronyms. Here are some of them...
Oh,my goodness, Jenny accidently let a skunk in the house and she did not know where it was?. This was a dilemma, because I was a woman who sold my wonderful player piano because a cockroach crawled into it! Now I had to deal with a real live skunk in the house !
How wonderful to be experiencing a guided tour of the Kennedy Library in Waltham, Massachusetts. I was honored to share with my family the painting of the "Crucifixion" which the library housed. Upon seeing all the treasures in the special rooms, I asked the curator, "what was Kennedy's most treasured item.?
When this beautiful letter arrived ,I was so puzzled . Once again Ian professing his love for me and yet, his actions did not fit the words. I read the letter over and over to try to understand what was this man was really thinking!
My father, Barney Sorkin never had a lesson yet,, at seventeen, the Savoy Hotel in London hired him to play saxophone in their orchestra . He went on to Hollywood becoming one of the most honored Maestros .
My sister Sandra and I flew to Morocco on a last minute trip. To start on our journey our tour guide did not show up for 2 days and when Henry showed up he was drunk! What an adventure this was going to be. ..
In a way it was a relief to know that Alan would not want to chase other women but what I didn't realize is that he wanted to control my life.
Uncle Moe and Uncle Jack were the families connection to Hollywood and syndicated crimes. My sister Sandra and I were in Uncle Jack's car when he rolled down the window and Uncle Moe leaned in and said "they got Bugsy" !!!
The thought of giving up was not part of my DNA. I couldn't do it. My mother at seventeen and a half came down with ,spinal meningitis and there were no anti-biotic then. They told my grandparents, "She would not make the night". Well, bless her she survived and I am here as her example of "never giving up.!!!
What a traumatic experience and the only thing I focused on was my faith. I had survived and electrocution and nearly drowned in a lake and now this! Under these circumstances I know my faith is unshakable.
Today, I do not recognize the city I grew up in.. Gone are the horse paths along Rodeo Drive and the rows of orange trees especially fragrant in the valley. The Beverly Wilshire still stands and is beautiful.. It was where "Pretty Woman" was filmed.
When your beautiful daughter is pregnant with her first child and our first grandchild ,to hear that the baby has a problem is not welcome news. It was her "inner light", I said it and believed it. This is how one heals.
Even now as a grown woman, I cringe when I recall the event that changed my life. Being locked in a room and having to experience a sex act with two adults . He pulled up a chair right by the bed, proceeded having sex while the monster talked to me. He would call me constantly and I would hang up . This went on for four years
My mother was quite a character. The only woman I know who put on a bathing suit and shower cap to defrost the freezer. Yes, she would answer to "Placenta" .
I wrote this book because I have experienced great despair and magnificent healings. I am no different than anyone else, but my faith is unshakable. We are tested at various times in our lives, therefore when I found real solutions and comfort, I felt compelled to share it...
In the city of Fez , I was approached in the Medea by a man that offered me 500 camels to stay in Morocco...So whenever I have to, I remind Ian of what I gave up for Him !!! Tempting as it was , now where would I put 500 camels???
Here I was in a room with a realize I barely know him. I felt it wasn't a risk it was destiny and I wanted to experience it with all my heart...
I cannot take a taste of real sugar. Not one little bit. Too often I tried to test myself only to fail. It was a life lesson for me. I did not taste my wedding cake, what could be sweeter than that?. An alcoholic cannot take one sip, a smoker cannot take one puff. I know only to well it is a mind trigger that plays tricks on you...It has been over 40years without real sugar...I did it 1440 minutes at a time...
I need to share my story with those who are experiencing pain and disappointment. I have experienced miracles and demonstrations . Do not give up or give in because there is a power and energy eager to assist you on your journey. Let me tell you how it worked for me...
This letter was supposed to arrive before Ian came to California but, Ian arrived first. It was written with such thoughtful words but it was baffling to me...once again he was non-committal and I wasn't sure I wanted to subject myself to him once again.
Being in love with Ian was far more beautiful and electrifying than anything I had ever fantasized about. I was so excited to prepare for my trip to Michigan ! I couldn't believe this was all happening to me. Literally a dream coming true !
I had two failed marriages and I still wanted to experience a loving, gentle and reciprocal marriage . How would I go about it? I had to have a new design for living, so I set about creating a blueprint for happiness. On the path I discovered how to achieve it...
Granted I have been kissed many times ...but when Ian kissed me in the hall of the hotel , it was magic. I was sleeping beauty awakened by a prince. Wow... terrific love story and true !!!
Little did I realize forty-one years ago, I would not have real sugar in my life. I did it one moment at a time. I share my story because I am no different than you...I loved sweets , deserts, ice cream and the thought of not having it was overwhelming. But as of today, it has been forty-one years sugar-free...I am free!!!
I found using the power of words brought about miraculous healing. I do not wear glasses today and I did for years . I never had eye correction , God's power and faith I feel are responsible. I look forward to sharing my amazing journey with you !
When I found myself in rough and hard times, the only thing I could count on was my faith. So often one prays and prays and nothing happens, you wake up to the same dilemma . I began to find a greater way to heal.
What a joy to find a way to live my life with out the crazy drama that I had been through. It is such a blessing to know that I am "Divinely , Guided, Guarded and protected . I share my story knowing that you can demonstrate whatever you want.
Life was so make believe them. I would go to the studios as a little girl and watch magic appear from nowhere . The movies still do that ...you can disappear into someone else's life temporarily...
I dutifully wrote on my miracle card, "I desired an Image". I then proceeded to write on a paper all the wonderful attributes I was searching for in a mate. I wrote and wrote and then I went back and read it and realized, I did not know anyone at the time who fit many of the qualifications. Nobody , not one.
I was engaged for 12 hours and then Ian and I parted ways returning to our destinations and I didn't hear from him ! How could this be...he proposed and I accepted..
We often think, how bad can it get and it gets worse. That is when one has a choice to sink or swim. You do not realize how much inner strength and courage you possess until you have to. Finding a greater core within yourself is a dynamic example of faith.
With the Oscars show about ready to begin, it brings me back each year to the unbelievable experiences I had. Every night my father mingled with the Hollywood crowd. I was treated to seeing the shows in the afternoon during rehearsals. It was glamour, glitz and gaudy.
I have found that three principles are found in healing . Lesson one...is it for good? Lesson two...will it hurt anyone? And Lesson three ...are you taking something that doesn't belong to you? A Divine Accident has been an example of great demonstrations.
I was constantly being taunted by the monster for over four years. He was not capable of being rehabilitated . I did not know where or to whom to confide in. It was my secret and it was destroying me.
My first wedding in the Beverly Hills Hotel , Crystal Room was beyond spectacular. Too bad the marriage wasn't. My second husband and I eloped and our witnesses were the secretary of the church and the handyman.
I couldn't stop...My eating was out of control. No matter how many meetings I went to, I was hooked. Food was my console. my friend , by compulsion. I had to find a way to quit the madness, it was going to do me in.
I called him "Uncle Moe", but the world called him one of the "major gambling figures in syndicated crimes" Gus Russo, Supermob. If my Uncle had known what the monster did to his niece in Chapter 8, he would have had him killed.
Having experienced electricity shooting through my small body was terrifying. I do believe it opened up channels in my head allowing me to be psychic and clairvoyant. To me there are no strangers, but it took me a while to realize the gift and the responsibility.
I was totally unaware that Alan was slowly manipulating me. He began to take control of my life, what I ate, what I wore , what I said. He called it "love" ,it was madness.
I had a plan , I would put it into action. I knew it required change ,attitude and perseverance. I was willing to do whatever it took to change my life. Wanting a better future for me and my children, meant great determination and effort.
I always like things to happen right away. It has taken me years to adjust to events taking time. My faith has opened my awareness of the gifts we receive on the journey of enlightenment .
I would experience mood changes in Charles in a split second He would change into a beast throwing whatever was in his hand at me. Words like Prozac or Clonopin were not available , but living with someone whose behavior can change in moments is horrific.
My life had to change, I was miserable, stressed, tired and financially pathetic. I was all alone on this journey ...
In Chapter 13, I was presented with a dilemma , I was told to put my life in order due to an unexplainable mass. I had 18 month old twins and I wanted to be there to raise them. Prayer was the only thing I could count on...
After living in Rome, owning a gorgeous Lancia auto, attending the "Cannes Film Festival " being driven in gorgeous limousines. I found myself raising twin daughters without any transportation except a bike and the girls "Little Red Wagon"
I have had the honor of experiencing great courage and fortitude. The brave people mentioned in this chapter are amazing. My beautiful nephew Brian is one of them. He is now going on 44 years of age and has caretakers 24/7 but, has flown to Michigan . He is special and never, never ,ever gives up!!!
Pay attention to what you say, I have learned there is great power in the words. I do not give energy to negative darkness. The body begins to heal instantly. It only knows to heal and will respond .
Today, I keep hearing "Just say no". Well it didn't work for me...I was locked in a room with the monster and his playmate. He pulled up a chair right by the bed and said" this could be us".
My sister and I had the most memorable trip to Morocco. Our guide was drunk and didn't show up for 3 days. I was given a cane mysteriously from a Holy Man and it certainly was magical.
When one of our twins walked in on Charles with his hands on my throat , I couldn't breath and I never wanted her to see that ever again. The incident caused Jenny to suffer panic attacks . Chapter 13
I have great empathy for anyone who has endured a non-consensual incident . I kept silent for four years and tried to practically destroy my-self. I don't care how old you are today, you never forget. I wrote my memoir to share how I began to heal.
When Lisa returned home from her from her ultra sound on their 3month embryo . There was a problem . She said, "there was a shadow near the heart." My first thought was it was her "Inner Light" . it presented a dilemma .
Like an alcoholic, I could not take one sip , one taste not one ! bite . I have learned not to test myself. It has been over 40 years without real sugar. You can do it . I know whatever struggle you are going through .
I experienced the most humbling act of kindness when the portiere who cleaned the apartments in Rome, gave me a going away party. I had sketched her holding her son "Generino" and sent it to Associated American Artists. Maria and her hunchback husband took the beds out of their dining room where they slept and carried in a table for my going away party. Gratzi, Gratzi for memories.
I should have trusted my psychic ability and backed away from Charles. Little did I know behind the fragile façade was a very mixed up man. He accepted me as I was, which was delightful...and after we married, he became an abuser. Chapter 12 A Divine Accident
Finally I was able to realize that I had a mind and I could use it. How often we feel useless and misunderstood, but something inside kept telling me I could survive and God would guide and sustain me. My faith is unshakable and under the worst of times...being told at 34 to put my life in order; my only transportation was a bike and a wagon.
How fortunate I was to be able to have a special meeting with the famous "Dr. Joseph Murphy" , who wrote "The Power of Your Unconscious Mind". We met, we talked and he told me just look into the mirror and proclaim that I was "a child of God". Those words were going to cure me. I went home so sad and disappointed , I gained two pounds every week after that.!!!
My journey in Rome was not as I expected. I was left to maneuver on my own , did not speak Italian at the time. Mama Mia it was not va bene !!!
I accepted the challenge . I thought I could change him. How young and innocent I was , he loved a man's body and I wasn't a man.!!!!
My uncles were raised knowing that "connections counted and secrecy worked" I was always told nothing important for fear of disclosure. This worked very well later when I had my awful encounter with the monster!
How amazing to hear my father playing his saxophone with the rest of the band. I often thought they might have used this on the series "Downton Abbey " as it was recorded in 1927 , London. You can also hear it by going to Amazon and look for Barney Sorkin Let me know , thanks
My Heritage, and growing up in California among the rich and famous.
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