As my studies progressed, so did my self-confidence. I was finally able to put the
pieces of my former marriages to rest and achieve the peace of mind I had yearned for. It
was amazing. After tiptoeing into belief in a Power I couldn’t see or touch, I strode with
assurance into an unshakable faith that the perfect outcome for any number of difficult
life situations was possible. My trust in this Power was profound at the time. I felt like a
Gold Medal winner.
And I still do.
For the first time, I felt consciously connected to a loving Being who made my
wellbeing a priority. I marveled at the generation of comfort, serenity and contentment
this knowledge brought. The more specific my prayers became, the more amazed I was at
the extraordinary results and healings.
It is difficult to describe, but I can only image that my feelings were not unlike those
of a bungee jumper plummeting through space while being securely protected by a tether
anchored in an immoveable and omnipresent rock. One that is far older and more reliable
than even the Rock of Gibraltar, which is stated to be 200 million years old and has
withstood the trauma of storms, the battering from roiling seas, centuries as a fortified
battlement, and a changing populace from the Phoenicians to the British.
Where once I had been preoccupied and brought to a standstill by problems, my
studies revealed they were simply exaggerated molehills based upon my heightened
vulnerability, which, of course, resulted in a weakened sense of power. Through my
intensive studies in Science of Mind, I could accept each problem as a summons to
prayer.
Yes, there were difficult days when I pestered Mother or Sandra with elaborations of
my woes. Far too many to count.
This time, though, I had a plan on paper in my handwriting. I could own it, read it
daily, and be reminded of who I was and who I wanted to become and why. I arose each
morning mindful of my many little successes, instead of the failure of the day before.
This time, the failures only disheartened me temporarily. The road would be long and
fraught with setbacks, but if I wanted a happier and more fulfilling life, I had to change
what I had been doing unmindfully for years. I continued my studies with the goal of
becoming a licensed Science of Mind practitioner. The extra meetings and late-night
studying became part of my daily routine, outside of being the best mother I could
possibly be. The girls were changing, too. Their lives included music and dance lessons
and visits to the homes of friends. I loved every new thing they experienced and
remembered the good things about my life at their age. I also remembered my
disappointments, loneliness, and yearning to feel more loved by my busy parents.
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