Where do you go when life as you know it is turned completely upside down? It happened to me. The life I knew and loved vanished on August 7, 2013 when my college sweetheart and husband of 33 years chose to end his life. There are not words to describe my shock and devastation. Though I was surrounded with wonderful, loving people, none of them could restore the half of me that died that day. This was a God-sized task! This is my journey through shock, grief, mourning and healing. It is the very personal and profound journey I took to ultimately discover that no matter how deep your pain…God is always there and He is enough. If you are grieving, God Is Enough will give you hope. I understand what you are going through, and I am here to share my message of hope, healing and faith.
M.E. Louis is a native of North Carolina. She grew up in Chapel Hill where she attended the University of North Carolina and met the love of her life, Tate, who became a pastor. After 33 years of marriage, Tate took his life on August 7, 2013. God is Enough is her story of hope, healing and faith.
The day following my husband's suicide I walked outside and up to the tree where he had hung himself. I angrily said to Satan, "You meant this for evil, but God meant this for good. You messed with the wrong woman!"
The first portion of the above quote is not original. It comes from Genesis 50:20 in the story of Joseph, who was mistreated by his brothers and sold into slavery. Joseph's story ends well and God used him to prepare for a famine that saved many lives.
After the passage of many years I can now see how God has used Bob's suicide for good. Because God is in control He knows everything. He knows how our stories will end. While my life story is being written I will trust God to use it for good.
God is Enough
I started scanning the backyard, turning my head to the left-side of the yard lined with crepe myrtles in full bloom, then the center, and finally to the right-side of the yard. When I saw my husband, he was wearing his pajamas. He had been standing on a small step stool and was now on his knees so it first appeared as if he was sitting on the stool. Then, suddenly in disbelief I saw the yellow rope around his neck and realized I was seeing my husband of 33 years hanging from a tree. I screamed his name as I collapsed on the picnic table like a limp rag doll.