Your own attitude when you marry also makes a big difference to your experience of being married. When you marry Prince Charming expecting to be treated like a princess forever and then discover he is only human, leaves his dirty socks under the bed and you feel betrayed, you may be tempted to search for a better Prince. When you marry with the idea that you can always divorce if it doesn’t work out you are less likely to hang in even on the days you don’t like your husband at all.
On the other hand, if you marry with the idea that you will be with this man for life, no matter what, you may become helpless and resigned to intolerable conditions. None of these attitudes will help you manage the inevitable challenges you will face.
It helps to have the attitude that marriage is an adventure. As one wise friend put it, “It’s like taking an unknown path through an unknown forest to an unknown destination.” It also helps to have some idea of what you would like to create together. That means taking the time to each clarify your vision of what you want your life together to be like.
A commitment to creating that vision together will give you a good starting point for your adventure and help you make important choices along the way.
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