I was not in a very healthy place. I didn’t know what to do with myself. Being on chemo messed with me emotionally and I was missing work. Mentally I was just not okay. I was fighting to be happy and make everybody else around me feel good because they were all scared. I hated it, but I think it was worse for everybody else around me. I had developed the mindset of “I’ll get over it. I don’t really want to talk about it.”
I never allowed myself to ask, “Why me?” Instead, I would say thank you. Thank you that it’s not my children. Thank you for not happening to my sister. My sister used to say if I could, I would take this from you. I would laugh and tell her you’re not strong enough, you can’t handle this.
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