Am I really just a prize for people, so they can say that I’m their friend - Really? Sometimes, I just wanted to escape this life and swim into the waves of the blue ocean of eternity, maybe all the way home to Denmark, where I was born. A place of true happiness, where everyone wasn’t so occupied with social status and money. Not that Los Angeles was all bad. The weather sure was a lot better than in Copenhagen. Sometimes, I just got tired of it all, and it seemed like such an easy escape to a more honest and earthbound life. I looked at my grandparents in Denmark, and couldn’t help admiring their life-long connection and love for one another. I wondered if that would ever be attainable to me.
Veronica had literally made it impossible for me to talk to James alone, which initially had been my mission of the evening. At the point when I realized that it wasn’t going to happen, I just got into my usual Queen act.
That was one thing I knew how to do after all. I had gotten into character, which everyone always seemed to support and adore judging by how they spun around me like purring little cats waiting for instruction. I had given people orders of what to do or what not. Not that that wasn’t fun, but it was just always the same thing. I had been there and done that a million times, and it was really tiresome to be the one in the spotlight, pulling everything together, upholding the Queen act.
Being a Queen was expected of me. Not that I was being a bitch or anything. At least I didn’t think so. I was very aware about that. Being a leader, however, was very exhausting and lonely at times. No doubt about that. Sometimes, I just wish I could be invisible, be the one who observed the party instead of running it; just being someone in the crowd. Not giving orders, but receiving. So simple! That would be the dream, I thought to myself. That would be the dream…
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