If you've been asking yourself questions about why it seems that we just can't get it right in our relationships, and you want more, this is the blueprint to help you navigate during your search. In this book the author uses his life experiences, and those of several men and women of different ethnicities, ages, and cultures to give relationship advice to both sexes. The author has travelled the world and put in over 5 years of research travelling to over 25 countries discussing these topics. The Truth provides answers to today's most pressing issues about relationships, and lays out the roadmap to help you navigate. This book will appeal to readers interested in relationships self-help books.
Songwriter, Music producer & engineer, graphics designer, NOTHING that screams author. Father of 2 boys and a girl, Husband, and now Author. Never intended to become an author it just sort of happened. I've been playing the piano since about 7. Moving into the next phase of my life helping people with their relationships.
Keep the relationship private. Stay off social media. Easy enough.
The Truth: Keepin' It 100
Relationships can endure quite a few issues with two strong people, but two things that must be a part of the foundation of any relationship are trust, and communication. I mentioned the different types of women in the prelude. If she’s the kind of woman who can’t talk about things, or she feels that the only way you can understand her is if you feel her pain, she probably isn’t the person to start a committed relationship with until she decides to change her behavior. The same goes for a guy. If he never wants to talk about anything, which we guys tend to do quite often, then maybe he isn’t someone you should start a long committed relationship with. If the only way he thinks that you understand he means business is by hitting you or “checking” you, then he hasn’t grown into the man he needs to be to deal with all the challenges that exist within a relationship. Don’t make excuses for people in relationships. We do it all the time and I’m the first to admit that I usually make excuses for the woman I’m with. I don’t want to accept things that I know we probably need to address. But there’s that mirror-behavior thing. We have to be honest with ourselves. Communication can prevent a lot of things from being blown out of proportion. It also solves problems in an effective, non-violent way. Two people who can sit down and have a conversation can possibly build that foundation for a solid relationship. This is one of the things you can monitor in the beginning when you are getting it all out on the table. If he doesn’t hold a good conversation after the first couple of dates then he probably doesn’t have good communication skills. Usually the first few dates are where you communicate the most because you’re learning everything new about the person. So if his skills aren’t up to par during the early stages, maybe it’s something to think about before moving forward. You also have to be an active listener to have good communication, and of course all of us men know it’s one of the biggest things you women mention about guys. You say we don’t listen. Communication is an essential tool in a relationship. Without it, many of the issues and challenges you will face probably won’t be resolved.
With the introduction of all of these social media platforms, I noticed a change in the way people meet or look for their potential mate. I also observed that we all mostly live our relationships online. Go to any restaurant and observe a few couples sitting there. How many of them are on their phones and not talking to each other? People rarely hold a conversation anymore. Get back to communicating in person. Social media sites such as tagged.com, Blackplanet, Migente, Instagram, and Facebook can be effective in narrowing the field down. For people who don’t have a lot of confidence, or who aren’t good at meeting others this is probably ideal. It removes the awkwardness of a blind date because you can get all the preliminaries out of the way. Lots of women meet guys, and the first date is terrible if the guys aren’t very confident or don’t know how to have a decent conversation. If you talk online before you meet the person, you have already had the chance to view their pictures, get a feel for who they are, the things they like, and so on. Everything that you’d normally talk about on a first date you can already get out of the way. This generally makes people feel more comfortable the first time they meet. Ask the same questions you would ask if you were meeting for the first time. Several successful couples have used these sites, resulting in long lasting relationships. And today it’s a very viable option. If you don’t want to go to a club to try and meet a partner, this could be an excellent alternative. How many times guys have you been in the mall and wanted to talk to a girl, but you didn’t because she was with her girls and you didn’t want to get embarrassed? Meeting someone on a social media site kind of removes that type of feeling. Usually a person’s social sites are connected. A person’s Instagram will have photos of their families, or their kids, and maybe when they aren’t looking their best, so it makes it harder for them to lie to you. Most of the time people put their best photos up on sites, such as Tagged and Blackplanet, but by examining their Instagram or Facebook profiles, you can narrow it down to whether they’re attractive enough for you, or at least close to what you’re looking for. A person’s social media posts can indicate many personal things about them such as the associations they’re involved with. Pay attention to these things. You can effectively sift out the garbage from the quality before you even meet the person, but in any case remember there’s still no guarantee that the relationship will work. I met my significant other online, and we’ve been together for more than five years so far. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with meeting people this way. Since we all live online now, this is one of the preferred methods of meeting people these days. The inherent problems that I mentioned related to social media could possibly break up relationships. I mentioned earlier that people don’t talk so much these days, yet face to face communication is important. A lot of relationships have been ruined or broken up via Facebook, and Instagram. No one has to know if you’re happy, or that you got a new ride, or that he bought you a house, or anything. Posting is okay but there are consequences for anything you post that could bring up questions later on. Stay away from it unless you’re posting inspirational quotes, or your family picnic pictures. Keep details of your relationship off of social media.