If you've been asking yourself questions about why it seems that we just can't get it right in our relationships, and you want more, this is the blueprint to help you navigate during your search. In this book the author uses his life experiences, and those of several men and women of different ethnicities, ages, and cultures to give relationship advice to both sexes. The author has travelled the world and put in over 5 years of research travelling to over 25 countries discussing these topics. The Truth provides answers to today's most pressing issues about relationships, and lays out the roadmap to help you navigate. This book will appeal to readers interested in relationships self-help books.
Songwriter, Music producer & engineer, graphics designer, NOTHING that screams author. Father of 2 boys and a girl, Husband, and now Author. Never intended to become an author it just sort of happened. I've been playing the piano since about 7. Moving into the next phase of my life helping people with their relationships.
We carry lots of things into new relationships..this chapter focuses on building a clean slate before you take old things into new relationships.
The Truth: Keepin' It 100
This chapter is about anything that has been added to your life by lying, cheating guys, jealous women, baby’s daddy’s or baby’s mothers. Being bitter is one of the extra things we carry around. There are lots of bitter women in this world, but women didn’t start off being bitter. Something made them this way. This chapter is about all the experiences our lives have put on us, and the resulting behavior. As a result of these experiences, we develop a natural reaction that we rarely notice or change until something drastic happens. It often prevents us from experiencing those things in life that we would otherwise enjoy. It clouds our mind and our thinking, and it distorts the true nature of those things. So I will focus on those that most often have something to do with our relationships, and some steps we can take to combat those things, so we don’t take them into our next relationship.
The big one that I’ve mentioned several times in this book already is trust and insecurity. I include them together because one usually leads to the other. I have a daughter and she’s currently seventeen. I give her the same advice that I’d give to a 32 year old divorced mother of two or a single mother of four, or even an older woman over 50. These are the result of bad experiences. Earlier I stated that every man won’t treat you right. But one thing I have learned is that men will only do what a woman lets him do. He will only go as far as you let him. He will push the limits. That’s the nature of a guy. If you accept him calling you disrespectful names, he will do it. And the crazy thing is sometimes you refer to yourself as such. So in some cases, it’s self-inflicted, in which case you are responsible for the way you are treated. But back to trust and insecurity, oftentimes girls experience things quicker than boys do. Also, you may notice that women tend to mature faster than men do. With that said, tons of women start dating guys at a pretty young age, sometimes at thirteen and fourteen. I know some mothers may not want to hear this, but it’s the truth. So by the time they’re in their twenties, they’ve already been talking to a bunch of young knuckleheads who have no clue how to treat a woman, much less how to be a good husband or father. Therefore, young women are often already scorned before they have even had the opportunity to meet The Good Man, and they will spend a large portion of their lives wondering why they get stuck with crappy guys, or a lifestyle that they feel they didn’t choose. That’s when the question arises, “Why can’t guys just be real?” I tell my daughter that even if you don’t realize it, the choices you make when you’re young have an impact on your results as you get older. The same is true about the men you choose. When this process is done over and over, it creates a wall within women’s hearts that is covered with barbed wire. You will never get over that wall, guys. Then years go by, and when she’s finally ready to settle down, she brings all this “baggage” to the good man who won’t deal with it in most cases. If you’re just graduating high school or you’re in college there’s no doubt in my mind that you need to wait. Your future depends on it. The guys your age aren’t even close to being a good best friend let alone a good man, boyfriend, fiancé, and eventually a husband. Guys who are twice their age are still playing games. I know a bunch of young girls who got caught up over this one guy who was sleeping with all of them. They all knew. And instead of having some respect for themselves or getting upset with the guy, they argued amongst themselves. It was like a competition between them on who pleased the guy the best sexually. They were young and making stupid decisions because they felt that he “loved” them. A man won’t only tell you that he loves you, he will show you. But times are changing and this has become the norm with our younger generation. Don’t think for one second that when girls start talking to boys, they aren’t either being sexual or flirting with those ideas. We can thank the internet, lack of parenting, and YouTube for that. Back to the trust issues, this is something you will have to make a personal decision about. You will have to really want to change your behavior or attitude to expect different results. Ladies, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. If you continue to pick the same type of guys who consistently hurt you, cheat on you, or call you names, that’s insane and you are responsible for your own demise. If after one sorry excuse for a guy you do it any more than twice, you should have learned your lesson twice and you should run in the other direction as fast as possible. But some of you have to have the guy covered in tattoos, built like a body builder, or the guy who rides the Harley’s, or whatever your pleasure might be. You want the guy who drives the Benz, not thinking about how he got it, or what his attitude is like. He appears to have the materialistic stuff that you think you’re attracted to. But ten years down the line you’re going to look back and wish you had chosen a better guy to give your body, heart, and mind to. He might beat it up real good, but he’s going to leave a stain on that pocketbook, he’s going to put some miles on your car, and he’s going to tap into your bank account. And of course he will mess up your heart, until you can’t trust anyone because you will think every guy is like him. Women will do this because they genuinely feel that by doing these things they are being good women, and you are. But don’t do it for the guy who doesn’t deserve your time. You young women who are in college or have just graduated don’t even have checkbooks or anything else to mess up. All you have is your heart and your credit score. And I consider that to be much more important than any of the material things that he could damage. But there is hope. It isn’t until several years later when you’re probably closer to thirty when you start realizing that although that guy may look good, he won’t have anything for you but an excuse. You won’t have his support, he won’t be around, and he probably won’t have a job. He won’t have good credit or be financially secure, he won’t be ready to be a father, he won’t know how to treat you like a lady, and he won’t be a good husband. He will be on to the next girl who is probably your “best” friend he’s been sexing when you were on your period, and he will be sexing her while you’re pregnant. It’s a hard truth but I’m desperately trying to save you ladies some time. This whole merry-go-round I just mentioned is what’s going to create that extra baggage. It will create that big wall, which is going to make it hard for you to trust anyone.