If you've been asking yourself questions about why it seems that we just can't get it right in our relationships, and you want more, this is the blueprint to help you navigate during your search. In this book the author uses his life experiences, and those of several men and women of different ethnicities, ages, and cultures to give relationship advice to both sexes. The author has travelled the world and put in over 5 years of research travelling to over 25 countries discussing these topics. The Truth provides answers to today's most pressing issues about relationships, and lays out the roadmap to help you navigate. This book will appeal to readers interested in relationships self-help books.
Songwriter, Music producer & engineer, graphics designer, NOTHING that screams author. Father of 2 boys and a girl, Husband, and now Author. Never intended to become an author it just sort of happened. I've been playing the piano since about 7. Moving into the next phase of my life helping people with their relationships.
Takes an interesting look into being independent, submissive, and the mingling of the two...from Chapter 6.
The Truth: Keepin' It 100
I want to emphasize that you should always be yourself. Many women try to change their whole lifestyle or persona when it comes to a guy, who does it for them. But don’t sacrifice the core values that make you who you are, for anyone. I’m talking about the things that drive you, motivate you; those things that define what it means to be you. And be strong about your standards, too. Don’t overdo it with those, though. But if he wants you, he’ll accept you for you: looks, weight, everything. Both men and women slightly change when they are in relationships to adjust to their partner’s likes or dislikes, but ladies leave out your attitude, and your extra baggage. One question I was asked when I sent out the questions for this book was, “Why do women always engage in drama?” Even women ask other women that question. Just look at all the social media posts and you’ll see that this question is prevalent among women. So what’s the deal? Some women haven’t been taught well. Some women who don’t have good relationships with their mothers haven’t developed that critical connection needed to learn how to be a good woman, how to appreciate a good man, how to cook, clean, and other things. Half the women have learned from their mothers how to be bitter, and how to have attitudes. A young lady with a good mother for a role model will likely look at things from a different perspective. That home training I mentioned earlier extends to women as well as men. If the mother handles issues in an unbecoming way, the chances are that the daughter will adopt some of those same characteristics and traits, even if she has said things like, “Don’t turn out like me, be better.” If the mother always has an attitude towards people and situations, how do you think the daughter will react to certain situations? This is that critical connection that young women need to be strong women. Check your own attitude. If everything about other people bothers you, maybe you should take a step back and honestly ask yourself, “Is this something I should be tripping about? Is it me?” Women with attitudes and extra baggage are being phased out. Don’t believe me? Look at all the interracial couples these days. While this is a good thing, it says that people are tired of dealing with all this “extra” stuff. They don’t care anymore about the person’s race or creed or any of that. They just want peace. If you have the same problem with several different guys, you are probably the issue, and it takes a strong woman to realize this. Again, it takes a strong woman to say, “Hold on a minute, it might just be me. Maybe I need to work on myself.” Self-assessment takes strength, but when you learn how to do this you’ll be attaining something you need in order to have a long lasting relationship. Constant self-assessment is necessary to keep yourself in check when your cup is about to overflow.
The two main things in this chapter are learning submission, being independent, and the mingling of the two. And yes I said learning submission. I’ve spoken to many men about these, and the consensus is the same. In this chapter I’ll revert to the things men are looking for, and which will probably make you a better woman.
A strong woman is intelligent. She has a goal or a plan in life, and she’s looking for a good man. She has already gone through the having fun and playing stage. And believe it or not, I’ve learned that this isn’t age dependent. All women want a good relationship and guys to quit lying. But have you evaluated yourself? Can you look in the mirror and honestly point out potential problems that we could make better for ourselves? If you can, then you’ve started the process to making yourself a better woman. And one important thing ladies, don’t let anyone make you become a bitter woman. It has long lasting negative effects which more than likely will pose undue and unwanted stress in your future relationships.
Now I’m going to talk about being independent. Men love an independent woman. Why? You’ll have a network of coworkers, you’ll have your own thoughts, and your own money, all of which says that you can maintain responsibility. Men like that. We want to take care of you but we like knowing that if we can’t come through you’ll be able to hold it together. Being independent means you won’t be at home constantly watching us. Men like their woman being with them, but not on a ridiculous level. For example, if I wanted to go and hang out with my boys, and you don’t work or have a hobby, you’ll want to come along, and when I tell you I want to go by myself, you might take it offensively or as if I have something to hide. This is why being independent is a good thing. When you’re at home all the time you think too much and over-analyze things. Recently, there has been a movement started with this whole independent woman thing. While that’s good, it’s now at an unorthodox, unprecedented level. These days, the general saying is, “I don’t need a man.” Women have reduced the value they place on a man. Don’t have this attitude about it, because it will show when dealing with men. It’ll come off as if you’re talking at the guy, but telling him, “I don’t want your company. I don’t really need you here right now.” Being independent is a trait of being a strong woman, but in a relationship you have to learn when to be submissive. I hear some women constantly reminding guys that she got where she is all by herself, and she’s independent and proud. By all means be proud of your accomplishments, of the fact that you make your own money, that you drive your own car, you take care of your children, and so on. But remember that having a good man come in and add to what you have is going to make your life even better. Learn when to accept help. Learn when someone is trying to be there for you. Don’t be so independent that you refuse any help. Don’t be so into your independence that you’re blind to seeing when there’s someone trying to fill that gap.