At times, I wondered if it could be different. I heard some people talk about God as if He was a real person. Others liked to pray – not because it is a good thing to do, but because they enjoyed it. I knew God heard and answered prayer, but even this part of our relationship was strictly one-sided. I would ask, and He would act. He never asked for me to act - unless I discovered that I needed to do something through my Bible reading.
Though I would never have admitted it to be true, I lived my faith as a practical deist. I believed God had set up Christianity, written the Bible and then left the story until His promised returned at the end of time to claim those that had the inanimate seal of the Holy Spirit. Until then, I had to make it on my own. Thus, even when I felt something special during worship or prayer, it communicated little more than “I’m here, I exist.”
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