Somehow things seem to stick to you: hurt feelings because of real or imagined mistreatment, the thought of something bad happening to someone you love or a song you just can’t seem to get out of your head. You even tell yourself “Forgive and forget, just let it go, just move on,” but it's hard to do.
Holding On is Easier than Letting Go
The truth is that you have not been taught to use “letting go tools.” In fact, you come into the world with “holding on tools.” Your brain has evolved for survival! It notices every source of danger and stores it (or freezes it) so that you can quickly recognize danger without having to stop and think about it. It is automatic.
Automatic was wonderful when our human race evolved in the jungle and a fraction of a second could literally keep our ancestors from being eaten. The ones with the best programming survived and eventually produced you and me who live in a world with far different challenges. Part of the stress and anxiety you experience is your automatic brain responding to what it thinks is an emergency when your rational mind knows it is just a minor annoyance.
Many books describe this phenomenon. My favorite explanation is in the first chapter of
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