Doug Baird

Humor & Entertainment

Author Profile

Doug  Baird

I’m Doug from the inside out, and these books are a part, but just a part, of me. I’m very independent in thought and action, so a conventional appearance is restful, protective, and a little amusing. I like and respect people with very different views from my own. The Rural Social Justice thread in these books is the armature that gives structure to pieces intended to provoke, inspire and feed the reader’s thinking and imagination. Few people will read them; but it only takes one to make all the difference. I’m not passing a torch — I’m just holding the door. July 31, 2020

Books

Cornithaca County

Working Title: Cornithaca County

This Book Is In Development

Cornithaca County

“Cornithaca County” is a fictitious name for a real future. The first part of this book will contain stories, games, jokes, and activities that dissect the actions and intent of elitist policy making in the county. The second part will document actual incidents and issues that raise questions about the conduct of those who have been entrusted with the welfare of the public at large. At the end of the book, I will present a powerful circumstantial case — and a chilling denouement.

Rough-Cut Book Bubbles from Cornithaca County

“Non-disclosure Agreement?”

Another short excerpt. By this second letter, I’m a known “troublemaker.” Faced with documented health issues from agricultural activities; authorities stonewalled with silence. • The injuries to neighbors cited included brain damage in one child and the surgical removal of eyelids in an adult. The farm was protected from this “nuisance suit” by a NYSDEC “shield” and Agricultural Law. • When I put the issue up to the County Legislators; they handed it over to the local Board of Realtors and the county’s Ag and Farm Protection Committee: and referred to those parties as the “stakeholders.” • • Once again the decision to take any action was left to the same people who were accused of the misconduct; and had the most to lose if any action on the complaint was taken. No “conflict of interest” concerns were ever expressed by any County Legislator. • The health and well-being of rural families was never mentioned: We don’t matter.

“Deadly Drift” Report

This is an excerpt from the beginning of the Deadly Drift report. The reality of Cornithaca’s “Ag Ghetto” make the satires of Part 1 seem like nothing more than an extrapolation; a projection of the future. • I tried to explore all avenues of remediation, and follow all the proper protocols, so that nothing could “fall through the cracks,” but it doesn’t matter. - The Law doesn’t matter. - The rural drug addiction doesn’t matter. - The poverty and lack of education doesn’t matter. - The health of the rural community doesn’t matter. • You have seen a lot of stories recently about injustice to Blacks; but none about the continuing injustice in our rural communities: We don’t matter. • • The fight for rural social justice is like throwing a stone into the abyss — In rural New York; No one can hear you scream.

“Center of the Maze”

Bureaucracy is like filter that has never been cleaned — and if you try to clean it or replace it; you’re told that you can’t without destroying the functioning of the machine. There are “no user serviceable parts” in our government’s workings. • This game embodies the futility and pointlessness of going through government channels in a bureaucracy where we pay its workers $50,000 to distribute $500; when it could be done with a $5 device: And career longevity is a gray road to a gray destination. Just follow the rules, and if you don’t get anywhere; at least you’re not getting anywhere bad.

Water under the Binge

Every one of these ideas had its own folder; with at least a Word doc rough description of how to work it up — some are even at the layout/artwork stage. All the ideas were thrown into a hopper; and I picked out whichever I felt like working on. The ideas were organized in several different ways, so I wouldn’t lose control of the project. • I would like to share two insights that took me many years to learn the hard way: 1. Always organize the project in your mind, and clear the workspace before starting. 2. Always put things in the first place you would look for them.

“County employees won’t pick up the phone”

Government has more important things to do than deal with the people — that’s why Doctrine puts people on the “receiving only” end of elitist policy making. The career longevity message to bureaucrats and government employees is clear: “Pay attention to those above you; who cares if the people love you.” • Having to deal with other people’s problems interferes with the work-flow — and if they think they’ve got rid of you, and you come back: you’re labeled as a trouble maker.

You know you live in Cornithaca County . . .

There is more truth in these statements than is comfortable — in fact; they’re all true. • For example “. . . school taxes are used to promote more school taxes”: the school board uses a number of unethical and even illegal ways to grab all the money they can. While it’s illegal to use school funds to promote a school budget; weeks before the vote, a large color “bulletin” arrives; “explaining” the budget and including many faces of young school children for added leverage. The “official” notification this year was a 6”x 9” card arriving on June 4th; and announcing that all ballots needed to be received (not postmarked) by June 9th. The card omitted the amount of property tax increase. • Twice recently they have taxed funds to save for future expenses; the State Comptroller told them it was illegal and, instead of giving back to the taxpayers, they spent it all — effectively double-taxing for the expenses. • A large debt taken on for “needed” new school buses is paid down every year with taxes; and spent back up to the max again — while the taxpayers are told “there’s no new debt.” • Welcome to Cornithaca County.

They Don’t Make Liberals like Lincoln Anymore

Part 2 of the book will still have some bits and pieces like this poem. The poem speaks for itself.

“Six Degrees of Segregation”

There was an investigative television show about Doctor in Florida whose fake biopsy reports showed every skin blemish on his elderly patients to be cancerous, and require the most invasive [and most expensive] skin cancer surgery. The spouses who brought these patients were also talked into having biopsies that resulted in the discovery of even more cancers requiring this profitable surgery. When whistle blowers reported to Medicare the hundreds and hundreds of unnecessary, and very painful, surgical procedures they were being billed for: Medicare replied that as long as the operations were being performed; the doctor had a right to be paid. • This bears a striking similarity to Government’s role as the doctors of our society: they are constantly finding dangerous “ills” that need immediate surgery, and more governmental power, to eradicate. The more power they are given; the more ills they seem to find. • And who is playing the role of Medicare? That’s us, stupid. • In a universe run by cause and effect; such coincidences need to be viewed with suspicion.

“Cornithaca: Where’s the Love?”

Since my “Bubbles” can only display JPEGs, and I’m not sure how large they can be made in Social Media; I narrowed the text to allow for a larger view. • • Doctrine holders always take the moral high ground as a matter of right; judging and questioning others as to the worthiness of their actions and opinions — but if their own Doctrine is measured against the accepted standards of love, compassion, and humanity; the results give no reason for their doing so.

“Part 1 Proof Print and Preface”

The humanity and wisdom expressed by the quotes in this book, and hopefully echoed in its activities and games, is a touchstone for human behavior that is hard to argue with. Every speaker points to an unconditional humanity: a golden rule that cannot be bent — only broken. • “Important principles may, and must, be inflexible.” — Abraham Lincoln • In one sense; this book compares the principles of these original speakers with those who today claim to be following in their footsteps. In this age of scams; are their pretentions no more than a cover?

“The No Uncertainty Principle”

This page is a kind of a bridge between the satire of Part 1 and the dark reality of Part 2; and is placed just before the “Bigotry: The Musical” piece that ends the first part of the book. • The second section of the book will include the real incidents and actions that gave rise to the questions outlined in Part 1– and a much better idea of how those questions should be answered.

“Rural Whites Don’t Matter” Yard Sign

In Cornithaca County’s Ag Ghetto: rich farmers, surrounded by rural white poverty, drug addiction, and joblessness; hire subsidized foreign labor and put up Black Lives Matter signs to emphasize their dismissive attitude. • • “Rural whites don’t matter” is the basis of the County’s rural policy. • This will be well documented in Part II of this book.

“Old Folks Don’t Matter” Yard Sign

I turned down a trendy “Zoom” conference of writers; but I couldn’t resist the current “yard sign” craze. • Their lack of compassion for the more than 100,000 elderly dead in this country; makes the Pandemic a defining moment for the New Secular Religion. It’s no more than another tool that can be used to gain power and wealth. • Why this antagonism toward the old? Even if they haven’t gained wisdom; they’ve lived long enough to recognize bullshit when they hear it — and say so.

“Part II — WARNING”

You’ve been warned.

“Hog Farm Sing-a-long”

The “Hog Farm Sing-a-long” replaced a page that I was always uncertain about. Every time I would look at it I would question whether it should be in the book. It was only after all the pages in Part 1 were put in a layout; ordered and numbered, that I decided to pull it and put this sing-a-long in that slot. • The 227 pages of material comprising Part 1 are ready for printing and proofing: a darker journey is about to begin.

“Doctrine Says” Game

A simple game about a difficult problem. Conforming is often the one calm spot in a turbulent, pressure filled situation. • People may conform because they want to be liked, or they because want to survive, and frequently because it appears to fit what they believe in. • Conforming is natural; that’s why it’s so important to think about what you are conforming to. Especially when it begins to change.

“Human Compassion”

After reading the wisdom, humanity, and compassion expressed in so many quotes and proverbs; it’s hard to see why we listen to these politicians and media idols at all. • With writing my books, reading, and other activities; I’ve plowed through a lot of “stuff”; and one thing keeps repeating in the background: we are not living in, or moving toward, the kind of world that people want to live in. • When I look at the 1950s; I think “Yeah, we can fix that.” But when I look at 2020: I feel like we’re stuck in the mud in the middle of nowhere, the temperature is dropping, and it looks like snow. • It’s time to leave 2020 where it is, find shelter and warmth in some human habitation; and call to have it towed to the junkyard. • In the extras on the Lord of the Rings DVDs; the actors playing Hobbits in Hobbiton would say how much they envied the community lifestyle that their characters enjoyed. Maybe it’s not a return to the past; but a return to humanity and sanity that we need.

“Old” Sayings

“There are old sailors, and there are bold sailors; but there are no old, bold sailors.” • I call these “old” sayings because they’ve been around a long time – but wisdom never grows old. And while people learn by doing, and experience is a very thorough teacher, learning from the experiences of others can save you much pain and regret . . . and more.

“Cornithaca Corner Store – Products”

Have you noticed how many people monitor what you say in order to chastise you for non-conforming opinions? It’s a technique that’s often used these days to put others in their place — a lower one. • In the Revealed Church of Secular Self-interest; those who reveal it; have no belief in it. This presents a special danger: Even your belief won’t save you if they believe you have something they want.

“Cornithaca Corner Store – Books”

In the year 2020 of the Mealy-Mouthed Millennium; in a frenzy of using and entitled self-worth; in the silence of the virus: what are the attributes of the perfect survivor? Someone with the compassion of a shark; the character of a talking doll; and the integrity of a sand castle — it’s scary that there are so many of them out there. • Sometimes I’m worried New York may pass Early Harvest laws before I get a chance to publish it as a satire. • These book descriptions speak for themselves. It’s a pity that history’s champions of human worth and freedom can’t return to do the same.

“Cornithaca Corner Store – Games 2”

There’s more coming out of the Cornithaca County pipeline than effluent: games that you might want to wash your hands after playing — and not for the virus. • Cornithaca County’s College-town is flooded with profitable non-profits; it’s proof of their high level of education. • They’re cunning as weasels and slicker than snot; but compassionate humans is one thing they’re not.

“Cornithaca Corner Store - Games”

This page contains a few of the hundreds of ideas that never made it into the pages of this book. There will be a few more “Cornithaca County Store” pages to house other ideas that I can’t bear to leave entirely out in the cold. • That the games listed here could be made is satirical — that they would be made; is scary.

Bigotry: The Musical – “End Piece”

Whether you see bullet holes in this image, or not: bigotry feeds on itself and it keeps repeating.

Bigotry: “Scenes and Musical Numbers”

This page shows all fifteen musical numbers. I decided not to write a story synopsis; but hope that the readers will create stories of their own with the scenes and characters listed.

“Doctrine Anger WARNING”

“This shit just got real!” I put this page first for that reason: The danger is real. • When you question the statements and beliefs of those who hold that only they are right and have the “right” to question; there is always a risk. Since Doctrine is everything; Doctrine can excuse anything — even violence. • Doctrine holders work in concert to suppress any non-conforming expression or belief: They don’t need to communicate — Their Doctrine Told Then So.

“Cornithaca County - Beginning PART II”

With Part I of Cornithaca County finishing up the last few pages; it’s time to begin “populating” Part II. • Part 1 was setting the table; Part II will carve the turkey: It will include Doctrine Identification Guides, surveys and probing questions, essays, investigative reports, and a Study with conclusions. • • I hope this book will be useful in identifying, in questioning, and in exposing today’s emerging Doctrine dictatorship; a theocracy in the worst sense of the word. It’s time to “out” the Dorian Grays of hate and oppression.

“Cracking the Ag Code”

This reprint from Family Farm Fun shows how even the most blatant environmental transgressions are being hidden and minimized on a “conspiracy” level scale. • When Agriculture’s laughably ineffective “voluntary guidelines” and “nutrient plans” risk exposure; they divert attention with a dog-and-pony show. • The “9 Point Plan” and similar events are Industrial Agriculture’s answer to public outcry; and a way to avoid enacting any restrictions on polluting that would erode their profits. • Using studies and data gathering, committees and comments, updated “voluntary guidelines” and “nutrient plans,” and of course, the help of politicians and bureaucrats; a good 9 Point Plan can provide a 10 year respite in regulatory oversight of agricultural pollution. • Some impaired waterbodies are now undergoing their second “9 Point Plan” cycle. And not only can’t politicians seem to see this new “elephant in the room” — they can’t even smell the carcass of the last one.

“Industrial Agriculture Anthem”

It’s fitting that industrial agriculture has its own anthem; because its perceptions of this country are so very different from those originally expressed by the Katharine Lee Bates lyrics. • Theirs are not the traditional cattle “on the range” or in pasture; but walking bags of genetically modified meat grown in a soup of hormones, antibiotics, and not-to-be-advertised diets: to maximize the per pound profit. • If today’s consumers could see and taste a frozen TV dinner from the 50s; they would cry. • The aerial view in the background looks like an infestation . . . and maybe it is.

“I Can Open My Window”

Rural opinions are not based on perceptions or media slants, but on actual incidents. So when the rural community calls the DEC the Department of Environmental Corruption and ridicules public health officials; there’s more than just resentment behind it. • Here is just one incident: A teacher at a school for disadvantaged children noticed that herbicide being sprayed on a nearby field was drifting across the children’s playground and over the recreational equipment. When she complained to the school administration, they refused to do anything; so she notified OSHA: the only result was that she nearly lost her job. • "None are so deaf as those who would not hear."

“Writer’s Choice”

“Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” are just words to those who live under the boot of industrial farming. Corporate Agribusinesses fund and bully the politicians, control the agricultural colleges and the regulators, and through a combination of advertising dollars, threats, and litigation control the media as well. • As the upcoming Part 2 will show: even the law is no protection against these powerful interests. They have the power to make the law go away.

“Anonymous Victim Survey”

“You know you live in Cornithaca County, when the only rights left are the right to be a victim and the right to be poor.” This statement sums up what it’s like to be a rural resident in Cornithaca County. Rural people are considered so unimportant that they don’t even get a minimal share out of the wealth that its autocratic leaders gather from each new policy decision. Unfortunately; this survey can’t even be classed as satirical.

“Proctor Aptitude Test”

This test is almost like a cautionary tale. • What is its purpose? While these “government departments” might seem to be recruiting sick and aberrant individuals; they could be casting the net for those who enjoy “directing a ‘non-conforming’ play” or writing an “unapproved song.” • Evil is the master of misdirection.

“Nice Perk If You Can Get It”

A last song to finish off the “Bigotry: The Musical” collection. A sophisticated tune for an unsophisticated life.

“We hate, hate, hate, hate . . .”

This number from “Bigotry: The Musical” will slot in somewhere before the “My Doctrine Tells Me So” song.

“My Doctrine Tells Me So”

Another song from “Bigotry: The Musical” — from a section where Doctrine is gaining a stranglehold on all aspects of life. That is I think it will be placed there; but I haven’t written the story yet. [I’m always ready to create in advance of categorizing.]

Bigotry: The Musical – “The Great Pretender”

This musical number will probably come just before “Can You Keep a Secret?” in Act 1. • It’s an age of “pretending” as a tool for users. Political doctrine is now working for the immediate profit of some; while pretending to work for the long-term good of all. • Pretending it’s for “us.” • • Those to whom the death of a hundred-thousand elderly was no more than a reduction of an excess population [and a troublesome obstruction]; have now found a use for them as an issue to bash others. Hard-wired for hate: but pretending they care. • It’s a user’s world.

“Can You Keep a Secret?”

Bigotry: The Musical – “Can You Keep a Secret?” This piece is scheduled for the end of Act 1. You can tell from the tone of the lyrics that dark days lie ahead. • Cornithaca’s elite have run a “hate and fear” smear campaign for many elections; burying their own misconduct with the help of powerful corporate influence and a 4-year College Town memory.

“Cornithaca Billboards 5”

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world” is the kind of selfless exhortation that Cornithaca’s elite see as dissolution. They lead by edict; not by example. “Make the changes that you wish to see in the world” is what people at their “level” do. • Their concept of “We” is a hierarchical one; with themselves at the top. They don’t assume the burdens of others; they distribute them “equitably” among the under classes. Theirs is the burden of rulership — ours is to carry their sedan chairs. • It’s not surprising that Cornithaca is effectively a dictatorship, and well on the road to actuality: with a doctrine like theirs; anything is possible.

“The New Food Pyramid”

Today’s Food Pyramid is celebrated as a monument to modern science; and a symbol of the enduring worth of its Pharos of Agriculture. • Turn the monument over and you’ll see the rural communities that have suffered under the hubris and greed of Big Ag and their scurrilous scriveners.

“A rich factory farmer named Fred”

Another Family Farm Fun reprint revised with a color heading and a more offensive fly. I have a bug zapper indoors, and have noticed that doom comes in many forms: some flies fall buzzing on their back to get up and get zapped again, some get caught in the grid and start smoking, and some actually explode in fly parts. [If flies land on every surface in your house; how can exploding them be any greater a health issue.] I thought of doing a chart on this subject.

Bigotry: The Musical – “Victims’ Hymn”

This song is planned to be the last musical piece in the 3rd Act. There are many grades of shadow in this musical. In the stage lights; everything casts a shadow — but it’s the actions, not the shapes, which will define them.

“Factory Farm Bookshelf: New and Popular”

A two-page spread; this reprint has some of my favorite unrealized ideas. The “Ag Almanac” is my second choice; while “Don’t Step on My Blue Baby’s Shoes” holds on to the top of the charts. It would make a good t-shirt for the Factory Farm Music Festival. Or on a mug.

“New School Nursery Rhymes”

Another colored reprint. I enjoy writing rhymes. I enjoy drinking beer. But I don’t do both at the same time. I drink beer with people and write rhymes alone. I drink beer when I need to and write rhymes when I’m ______.

“Factory Farm Bookshelf: Family Fun Classics”

This page is a reprint from the “Family Farm Fun” book, with color added. I used the Bookshelf pages to list some of the ideas that were never brought to fruition. [I still liked them though.] • “Cornithaca County” has almost 700 folders already — most of which contain ideas that will never make it into the book in any form. A handful will be included in some new “bookshelf” pages. The content of the book is mild compared to some of what is being left out.

“Crack the Code” 2

Another simple code with a difficult question. Doing the right thing is always simple; it’s making excuses for not doing it that’s complicated. The difficulty is that the difference between “simple” and “easy” can be the same as between “life” and “death.”

“Crack the Code”

These coded texts pose the same questions as in my comments on “How many violations can you spot?” • While there is a solution to the code; there is no solution to the questions.

“How many violations can you spot?”

Is secrecy ethical? Is secrecy necessary? There are many reasons for secrecy; but are they all covered by the same reasoning? The best answer to a difficult question is to leave it open. It’s only when you close the door to questioning; that you open the door to oppression. • Cornithaca County’s “One thought, One taught – One voice, One choice” attitude is the essence of the oppression.

“Cash Cow Piñata”

In these days of bashing for self-interest and self-profit — it’s time for some old-school bashing of those who profit at the expense of others. Cornithaca County has more corruption than you can shake a stick at . . . but give it a shot; you’ll feel better.

“Floaters”

There’s a very simple [or maybe even stupid] answer to this page. Think outside the book . . . or look at the Solutions page [not included in this post.]

“I Wandered Lonely As A Cloud”

The brittle and harsh tone is meant to remove the comfort that would be natural in this setting. • Industrial agriculture is always unmoved and unchanged by the natural world, “like plastic bottles on the sea,” until, through its increasingly impervious influence; it changes the natural world itself. • It’s a world without beauty; permitted by an age without memory.

“Denial”

This singsong poem is a reprint of the end piece from Family Farm Fun. It’s the kind of repetitious word use that dispels fears. A rant that creates an obstruction, and reinforces the speaker’s beliefs against any threatening idea or thought. • The change in typeface is intended to slow the reader’s recognition and present the words like dropped stones.

“CAFO Sing-a-long”

In this CAFO version of the sing-a-long, the number keeps on increasing. 40,000 cow CAFOs already exist. Where will it end? 80,000 . . . 100,000? • Locally; the few remaining traditional farms and factory farms alike are being ploughed under as the biggest CAFO in New York State is continuing to spread like a shit stain across the rural landscape. It’s only a mile away.

“Stopping by Woods on a Snow Melt Evening”

I tried to keep what I loved about the flow of this great poem, and paint on some of what I hate about the flow of “nutrient” toxic waste. I think the addition of color effectively sets the mood for this reprint of the black and white version in Family Farm Fun.

“You Probably Think this World is about You”

This is the ninth song for “Bigotry: The Musical” so far. There are probably 6 or 7 more to complete the book. I’ve divided the songs into 3 acts and the plot line has become clearer: a rural couple are forced off their land by bureaucrats and are resettled into an urban world of subsidized poverty – jobless, powerless, and surrounded by criminals; they must try to survive the establishment of a secular theocracy.

“Origami Fly”

As a kid; I looked through a book of sketches made by an army soldier in the South Pacific during WWII. Many of the drawings featured dead bodies; and the air around them was always filled with flies. • In rural Cornithaca County; flies, factory farms and death are certainties, but factory farms and death are never linked together. The high rural cancer rate is counted as a “lifestyle” issue.

“How Many Toxic Gas Plumes?”

A respirator that would once have been worn in a joke about barn odors; is now a life-saving protection from liquid manure off-gassing. • I remember an incident where a home exploded due to a natural gas leak. The leak was in a neighboring house; but the heavier-than-air gas flowed down into a lower level where it collected and ignited. • Factory Farms occupy a high ground of money, influence, and legal cronyism — so you know what flows downhill to their rural neighbors. • While I’m writing this; I keep hearing in the back of my mind: Jumping Jack Crack it’s a gas, gas, gas . . .

“Regulator Sing-a-long”

Knowing how to navigate your way through a maze of shadow-government regulatory shortcuts is sometimes just a matter of knowing the right people. Often, public oversight is seen as a stumbling block to the smooth functioning of established business-bureaucrat partnerships, and their special understandings. • This difficulty has been overcome in Cornithaca County, where the people have no meaningful representation in government, and the investigation of regulatory misconduct is handed over to the parties involved; for their sole adjudication. • They’re “so important” and they “define the county” are phrases that are frequently used by county government to elevate powerful interests above the everyday requirements of ethical and responsible action. • There is no ethical voice raised in opposition . . . they’ve taken care of that as well.

“Farm-cheesi Board Game”

Farm-cheesi – The “Game of Flies” is adapted from the Indian cross and circle game Pachisi, and its many variations. The goal of the game is to move the maggots from the player’s carcass home to the center space where they become flies. • The 17” x 17” game board [pictured] is in four parts to be copied or scanned and printed - or cut out by utilizing two books. • You can also cut out maggots and attach them to the “Cornithacan” tokens from the book; achieving a sort of “African Queen” leach effect. • • Living around a factory farm; you have to do something with them — if only we could train them to synchronize in their swarming and blow back the toxic fumes.

“Corporate Pushback Balloon Relay”

Simple and graphic: this game shows how easily years of work and hope can just go “pop” when the big players decide you need to be sat on. • In Cornithaca County; the corporations, institutions, and politicians are so tight together; there’s no room left for the people. • A corporate plan for a large facility, powered by fossil fuel, was recently pushed through vocal public opposition with only a “Thanks for keeping us on our toes” response from politicians. • • How dismissive is that?

“Traffic Flow Maze”

Form Based Code planning is a great idea . . . for those in authority. It allows for an autocratic control of planning to exclude or mandate any type of community development those in power desire. The “college town” is a city that preserves its downtown wood frame houses and tree lined streets as a “historical” necessity, and use will Form based planning to add green spaces, parks, and upscale shopping and restaurants to “one of the twenty most expensive cities in the country to live in.” • The same planning shows that “Affordable Housing” Nodes should be placed in rural towns; where “historical” has no cachet, and the woods and fields are bulldozed for tract homes, condos and apartments. It’s the “form based” place to dump their poor and homeless in affordable housing complexes, and place a drug treatment and outpatient facility at a safe distance. • The county’s mass transit buses, which are so thick around the college that people have difficulty driving cars, don’t enter the Ag ghetto; but if I walk 2 ½ miles to its border, and stand by pole at the side of a ditch, they pass by several times a day.

“Farm Worker Mortality Disposal”

With the short life-spans of their antibiotic and hormone-filled cows; industrial dairies have a problem with unsalable carcasses. Disposal of dead cows and hogs in compost piles is now recommended over dragging them out in a field to rot. • It’s just a step to using the same method of disposal for their workers. Who’s to know — it may already be happening.

“Hatch and Release”

Where is the mercy in a “mercy killing” when you have created the situation that lead inevitably to that choice? • Where is the “love” in deciding who is worthy of receiving it? • Today’s doctrine releases us from the need to make the unselfish choices and take the compassionate actions that traditionally defined “humanity”: It only requires that we conform. • Human beings are parsed into different containers to meet different ends: one gender here; one gender there; one race for this perception; one race for that — all as instructed by the revealed doctrine of an unrevealed elite. • Where is the love? You might as well ask the chicks going to their disposal. It’s all about the using; love doesn’t make those kinds of choices.

“Farm Harm – Respirators 101”

Do you know what you’re breathing? It’s good to know. People often learn by doing; but sometimes the learning process is painful or even fatal. • I once had a professor begin a lecture with: “Sewage is purer than Ivory Snow.” This statement juxtaposed the advertised purity of the soap with the fact that sewage is 99.99% water. The purity of the air, the effects quantified by surveys and studied in laboratories, and the duration of exposure; all need to be judged in terms of human health. • Factory farms take a lot of the bad things from human industrialization; and put it all in one place — the rural community. If it was anywhere else they would be shut down.

“The Urban Dairy”

Located at the intersection of Satire and Sensible; the Urban Dairy is a practical solution that has practically no chance of ever being implemented. The demographic defines the definition. The same factory farm “nutrients” that are sprayed within feet of rural children’s bedrooms, are defined as “toxic waste” if transported to an urban setting. • So the question of an Urban Dairy is more or less a judgement call – urban communities are worth more, and rural communities are worth less.

“Factory Farm Feely Bag”

How to describe the indescribable? I’ll leave it up to your imagination. • A number of the items on the list are actually used by factory farms to fatten the animals you eat. Want to know what’s in that burger? “EEEWW!”

“Child Safety Poster – Manure Lagoons”

Factory farmers and their families are warned to wear respirators around manure lagoons to prevent injury and death. Authorities don’t consider the health risks to farmer’s neighbors of any importance. • Satellite Lagoons are promoted as being a cost saving alternative to carrying liquid manure to distant fields. Under Agricultural Law; factory farmers can buy land and build a “lagoon” containing millions of gallons of liquid manure within feet of a rural residence as a matter of right. This has become the new standard for factory farms. • There is no disclosure of this practice, or recourse under the law, to potential home buyers. Instead, they are blamed for being “unfamiliar with farming practices.” • In Cornithaca County; it’s the demographic, not the act, that defines accountability.

“Farm Harm Child Safety Poster”

This reprint from the Family Farm Fun book adds color to the original black and white poster. • If you think this poster is scary; prospective buyers of rural property will never see any of this. The current Agricultural Disclosure Form only states “farming activities may include, but not limited to, activities that cause noise, dust and odors.” • All my efforts to have this decades-old form updated to include modern agricultural methods and activities, and court acknowledged injuries to local farm neighbors, met with a stone wall of silence from State authorities. • This issue and others will be documented and dissected in Part 2 of this book.

“Must see television . . . “

Television used to be an entertainment for promoting products, now it’s propaganda for promoting doctrine. Every edit, every description or plot, every “first responder” spot or college student, and every shmuck who can’t pick the correct toilet tissue or pays too much at the pharmacy; must conform to the doctrinal agenda. • Since it’s true in every case; it’s easy to prove — but they will never stop doing it. One Thought, One Taught – One Voice, One Choice. Scary.

“[The new normal]” Poem

A short poem. Take from it what you will.

“Find the Original Virus”

This simple puzzle is intended as a change of pace so the reader can bring a refreshed attention to the book.

“Cornithaca Billboards 4”

“Doctrine, Doctrine everywhere, and not a drop of love.” to paraphrase the poem. Cornithaca’s Elite have run a relentless hate and fear campaign since I can remember — and as to their love; any examination of the county’s poor and needy shows that it must have evaporated decades ago. • When I wrote to the local college where the noted Rural Sociologist Janet Fitchen taught and authored Poverty in Rural America, requesting their help in publicizing the county’s current rural poverty and neglect: The response I received was; “She lived in simpler times.” • A year ago, Cornithaca gave a quarter of a million dollar tax let-off to the largest privately owned corporation in the US. Why? The corporation said they needed it. • What’s complicated about that? • It’s OK: they’ll simply increase our taxes to make up the difference.

“Cornithaca Billboards 3”

Early Harvest is an idea whose time has come in Cornithaca County. This week the Common Council voted to eliminate rental payments by tenants and place the burden on “people or entities who have greater resources to solve the issue." They themselves will, of course, be the ones to decide who those entities are, what resources will be needed, and what further issues need to be addressed. • It’s notable that the University, by far the richest and most powerful entity; one whose expansionist policies have driven out the original residents and turned their College Town into one of the twenty most expensive cities in the US to live in, is not one of the entities they have decided to burden. They will target the old, the poor, and those they can separate from the herd. • There’s not much sympathy that this issue can squeeze out of rural poor living three generations in an old wood frame house that they’re trying to keep in the face of ever-rising assessments and taxes: not for upscale urban renters having a hiccup in their six-figure salaries — but then they don’t write stories about the rural poor in Cornithaca County.

“Cornithaca Billboards 2”

I have a couple of more songs to write before putting together a storyline and working on the interior of the “Bigotry” Paybill. • • It’s been months since I’ve been in the Pub; drinking pints with a pizza to die for. When it reopens, I think I’ll call myself “Doug the Beloved” and see how that plays . . .

“Cornithaca Billboards”

As leaders in the New Religion; Cornithaca billboards may seem strange to people in many other parts of the country: but you had better get used to them . . . you had better! • There’s more to fear than the Yellowstone Supervolcano. “Not with a bang but a whimper.”

“The Hierarchy of Righteousness”

To put this page in proportion: Googling the CDC’s COVID-19 Provisional Death Counts for the US for the week of April 11-18: Aged 24 and under = 14, and Aged 65 and over = 12,818. This ongoing trend never even rated an emotional story in the College Town media. What is the big story? “Police brutality protest draws hundreds to downtown” • In Cornithaca’s “One thought-One Taught – One Voice-One Choice” dictatorship: Doctrine is everything. • It’s a doctrine of privilege and hate; and they never miss the chance to procure more of the first and loudly express the second. • For them; the tens of thousands of elderly who have died so disproportionately in New York is not even an issue. Their pretense of compassion is only skin deep: and they have a very thin skin. • There is no time for love in Cornithaca — they’re too busy hating everyone and everything that’s different.

“The Government Courtyard Puzzle”

Trying to put the fun into Bureaucracy is like trying to lift yourself up by your bootstraps: but I hope you will have fun completing this coloring page/puzzle. The type of fun, and the way you finish it; depends on you — and what could be more un-bureaucratic than that?

“The Helpful Bureaucrat Puzzle”

Which is the helpful bureaucrat? This puzzle contains a simple solution to a question that is often difficult and frustrating in everyday life. • Bureaucracy is a labyrinth that only grows over time. Without help; you can toil around a great circle of government employees [many of whom are out of the office, on vacation, or seemingly unreachable] to arrive back at the same desk you started at . . . and be sent on another journey. • In Cornithaca’s Kafkaesque environment; “Finding the Helpful Bureaucrat” is a puzzle that may have no solution.

“Write Your Own Story” Coloring Page

One of the best ways to avoid indoctrination is through creative and imaginative thinking. The stasis imposed by Cornithaca County’s doctrine, which allows only one “correct” answer to any question; is shattered by independent thought. • The figurative elements in the coloring page can be used to create a story. I won’t impose the “doctrine” of saying the writer must use all of the elements; or even “as many as possible.” You could write any number of stories and use only one, or none. • Creative work is not an exercise — it’s a necessary and rewarding part of being a human being.

“The ‘Ize’ Have It”

In an overwhelmingly partisan government: there is no need to compromise. It’s the perfect viewing conditions to see the future unfolding. Cornithaca County’s doctrine cleared landscape shows, not only the shape of our future; but the tools that are being used to shape it.

“Burn Barrel Cremations”

Easier than a pig roast and better than a backyard family barbecue — Burn Barrel Cremations are sweeping the rural sweepings of Cornithaca County! As one local flyer announced “We bring in the trailer; and it’s ash without failure.” Some vendor’s ovens are even sporting accessory racks; for that big grill-up send off. • For the ultimate in “green” disposals: recycle their ashes as burn barrel insulation!

“Cornithaca Fortune Teller”

This activity is essentially a color version of the “Misfortune Teller” in my Family Farm Fun book. My intention to revise the theme with “meaningful participation,” “transparency in government,” and similar legislative conundrums was less impactful than the reality of the rural original. • I remember these origami “fortune tellers” as a child; along with a freedom and community togetherness that today’s authorities pretend never existed. Everything is Doctrine: including everything your children are being taught. Home Schooling is the undoing of conformity and central authority.

“ATV Hazards”

Most ATV accidents come, not from dangerous situations; but from a refusal to realize the danger of the situation. The journey from “outlaw” to “out of luck” takes only a second: it’s as easy as falling off a log — or running into one. • In Cornithaca County’s Ag Ghetto; ATVs offer an alternative method of destruction to meth and bath salts. And as some of the parents drive around with small children in their laps or clinging to their waist; it’s a family moment as well.

“By Their Deeds”

Nothing sets the “Cornithacan” attitude apart more than their lack of empathy for others. The local Socialist party took to the College Town streets; urging the release of criminals to protect against COVID-19 in prisons; while being quietly unconcerned with the mounting death toll in a nursing home only a few miles away. • Give them a question of Doctrine, and they can parse righteousness to a screaming frenzy: but any question of compassion or human dignity is beside the point. • This is the present state of Cornithaca County — and the future everywhere?

Left in Park – “The Old Days are Passing”

In this new episode of the Cornithaca County television spin-off; It’s an “Ill windfall that does no good” as the usual users find more ways to profit from the Pandemic. • They’ll be singing “Out with the Old and in with the Cash” when “stimulus” checks take on a new meaning and bureaucrats wax fat on wholesale inheritance taxes.

Bigotry: The Musical – People Who Use People

This song (a satirical adaptation of the Song “People” from Funny Girl) is another of the pieces intended for “Bigotry: The Musical”. Although the musical will be in keeping with the Cornithaca County theme; I thought it would be more fun to write the music first, and worry about the plot later. • The ads in the Paybill will include sponsors like “Whole Human Replacement Parts” and “Do•Doctrine Nail Art,” as well as “Early Autumn” Organ Harvesting and other public service messages that will tie into body of the book. • The use of previously created and realized concepts as a leitmotif is a practical time-saver in the project; as well as adding coherence to the book as a whole.

New Word: “Ideafication”

So many words are being redefined: deliberately using expectations of the traditional meaning to hide a very different action. Independently thinking people need to create new words that better describe these actions, and shed a revealing light on this persuasive perfidy. • Cornithaca County’s “One thought, One taught, One voice, One choice” totalitarian government makes frequent use of “ideafication” for control and as a calming measure.

Third “Find the differences . . .”

In this third “find the differences” activity I decided to focus on faces. Since human beings have an understandable predilection for gathering information from faces; it would be interesting to see if this helps or hinders the recognition of differences in these two pages. • The study of imagery as a means of promoting innovative and creative thinking is outside the Cornithaca County theme of the book. However, I plan to add a section on the Idea Enhancement Project’s work to provide a practical framework for achieving and using “qualitative” thinking.

“Jumping Jack Crack” Puppet

There’s nothing good about crack; and there’s nothing funny about crack addicts. I picked crack because of the rhyme, but in the Ag Ghetto meth is more common, with a sprinkling of bath salt psychotics. • The county sheriff’s department doesn’t patrol the Ag Ghetto, and it’s become a magnet for the under-the-radar “animal life”: If you’ve got an itch; scratch it. If you’ve got an appetite; feed it. If you’ve got a pipe; smoke it. • They’ve become more active with the Coronavirus — animals can sense a weakness.

“Proverbs Remix 3 – New School Proverbs”

Whether it’s “An ounce of entitlement is worth a pound of work” or “It takes a village to pay for a child”: these are remixed proverbs with an edge — and over it. • If you need a sense of humor in life; you need two to handle all the advice you are given: one to accept it and a second to remix it. • So remember: “Life is like riding a bicycle. Once you fall off, you never forget.”

“Factory Farm Logic Problem”

There is a concerted effort to suppress the wrong being done to New York’s rural lands and communities; but when you have collected and documented the facts, and sent them to the people and agencies responsible for the health and well-being of the community: it’s ignored. What do you do next? Write a book? • • Living on the road to Drug Land: I’ve seen a marked increase in traffic, especially among the young. Without even the distraction of school activities, they’ve turned to “partying” full time, and the kind of fun that got one boy killed on the road outside my house a couple of years ago. • A county that is backing a “cultural shift” to “transform” the College Town’s industrial waterfront to a boat landing “full of restaurants, parks, shopping, and more” doesn’t waste money on patrolling an Ag Ghetto full of rural poor — they just spend enough to keep the problems contained.

“Factory Farm Fun” Activity Page

An activity page with Factory Farm attitude. In a way, it’s too late to satire their destruction of the natural world; because they’ve already shed the “Stewards of the Land” skin and put on the mantle of “The Important People Who Feed the World.” • I had a feeling that this was coming last year when I met an Ag Professor returning from India: He responded to the issue of rural health and reduced life expectancy by stating it was “a sacrifice that was necessary to fight world hunger.” • This fits in with the Cornithaca concept of disposable people: Other people. Different people. Lesser people.

Second “Find the differences . . .”

Another visual wake-up call. Have fun. • Larger images and downloadable files can be found on my blog: Rural Tompkins County – The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Credentials.

Find the differences between these pictures

This is not a test – it’s for fun. There are a fairly large number of differences of varying subtlety and perceptual camouflage. You can’t sleepwalk your way through this one. • Larger images and downloadable files can be found on my blog: Rural Tompkins County – The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Credentials.

“Creature from the Frack Lagoon”

Who needs nuclear radiation! Science, Industry, and Politics are the recombinant trio behind so many horrors of the imagination and horrors unimaginable. • Are we heading for a GMO “THEM!”? Keep a large stock of exclamation points on hand! • Add your own lines to this page — and plenty of retro color . . . BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!

“The Twelve Shady Doings” — A Carol

In Cornithaca County; the Elite take a dismissive attitude towards the victims of corruption because it’s themselves that so often benefit from it. “Corruption will always be with us" is a self-serving excuse that is often repeated, while the Fox Guarding the Hen House has almost achieved the status of unwritten law. Mudslinging “ethics” probes are only a threat to those who won’t play ball. • There is one benefit to this swirling current of power and greed: it’s so brazen that it’s easy to see. Unfortunately, the only good the Elite care about is their own: a good meal, a good salary, and a good retirement.

Humanity: “Isn’t it time to give it up?”

On this and other pages; there’s space for coloring and writing your own thoughts. Perfect for a post-apocalyptic collaboration. [You’ll have to fight over the crayons, though.] • • I once wrote in an application: I’ve no skills to fill my resume. No credentials or honors that weigh. And no previous year Saw my writing appear In a journal, I hope that’s OK? • I didn’t get the job. I guess would have been ashamed if I did. I guess.

“Handy Land” Game Finished

Larger size images can be viewed on my blog: Rural Tompkins County — The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Credentials.

“Handy Land” Game Board

Rural America is the “handy” dumping ground for the unwanted and dangerous by-products of our society. Unreported and unrepresented; rural communities have become a dispossessed and marginal population that is ridiculed by a city-centric urban media. • In this scarier version of the children’s confection favorite: Your children are dropped off at the Ag Ghetto border, and must make their long way home safely. • The copyable book pages will include a 15” square game board in four parts, and all the color and special game cards needs for the game.

“Proverbs Remix Redux”

This second group of remixed proverbs are skewed even more towards humor and satire; and push the reader to view things from a different angle; or in a different way. For a healthy intelligence: Rote won’t float the boat. • The definition of insanity is thinking the same thing over and over, and thinking the same thing over and over.

“Proverbs Remix”

These remixed proverbs are intended to shake up the rote repetition and involve the reader in thinking about the true beauty of human perception and wisdom that classic proverbs embody. At the same time, I would like the reader to use that expanded awareness to view things from a different angle; or in a different way.

“Easy Riddles – The Two Sisters”

“It’s your excuses that define you.” That should be the touchstone for “action distancing” in the New Millennium Normal. You’re not doing something bad to someone; you’re making a better life for yourself [or more hypocritically: “your family/gender/race/everyone”]. • “You’re owed it” is a well that never runs dry — as long as you keep filling it. • Interestingly, every famous icon of human compassion, dignity, and equality is uncompromisingly opposed to discriminatory action in any form. This is a common thread from Confucius to Lincoln to Frederick Douglass to Martin Luther King Jr. to Mother Teresa . . . Or you can stand with those who excuse their actions and oppression: Hitler, Stalin, Mao . . . So maybe your excuses can define you after all.

“Easy Riddles Coloring Page”

I was originally going to have several answers to this riddle and additional text; but I decided to leave more room for coloring — and thinking.

“Mobile Abattoir” Notice

The government tandem tractor trailer with a difference: One part health center – One part organ harvester — coming to a municipal parking lot near you. No need to sugar coat the invitation; it’s your duty. And they know where you live.

“Fake the Lake” Card Game Finished

These three pages [including the corrected first page] complete the game instructions and adds copyable scorecards.

“Fake the Lake” Game Card Designs

These are the four pages of designs for the 106 cards used in the game; along with a guide card and the card back. • • The most disturbing aspect of these waterway remediation plans is their lack of accountability. The people involved in formulating them have nothing to lose if they are proven ineffective; and a great deal to lose by opposing the powerful interests that continue to pollute and profit. These interests in turn, can answer resident’s concerns with the “we are following all the regulations and guidelines” excuse while continuing to pollute without abatement. • As well as being worthless as a tool for remediation; regulators remove any possible effectiveness by postponing, eliminating, offsetting, and not enforcing the actions and regulations that these plans do have. • Rather than a flow of righteous concern and oversight for the world we live in; these plans will only siphon tax dollars to pay for the incentives, tax breaks and subsidies that will provide the sum total of actual benefit. • These are not plans that will fix our lakes — these are plans that are made when you don’t want to make a plan that will fix our lakes.

“Fake the Lake” Card Game

Description of the game: “As scrutiny of our failing lakes becomes unavoidable; powerful interests are taking control of the investigation and remediation process. Fake the Lake takes a somewhat satirical look at the conspiracy that is destroying our children’s future for their own short term gain. • You are one of up to 3 players attempting maximize your allowable pollution while dealing with regulatory and culpability hazards you encounter along the way. There are 106 cards, including hazards, pollution levels, remedies, and four immunity cards.” • The book will include complete instructions, and copy-able scoring pads and cards [including a card back design.] • • Yesterday, while the Coronavirus Pandemic is devastating New York; state regulators announced that they were giving the best connected of the lake pollution “players” a permit that deleted the schedule of compliance for Total Phosphorus, and eliminated the schedules and conditions of the recently completed Lake Water Quality Plan. The timing of this deregulation was either very bad — or very good. Smart corporations know how to take advantage of the downturns as well as the upturns. • How is government using the Pandemic where you live?

“Famous Quotes – Remix with a Twist”

The “twist” in this case is the political remix given to the quotes. The nicest thing about a remix is that you start with something that is already of known quality — this is the reason there are series that are spun off of a successful movie based on an earlier “prequel” TV show with the characters from a trio of hit movies from the previous decade [It’s also easier to get backing – “If it ain’t broke; remake it.”] • The same technique can be observed in politics: remix what has proven successful in the past at gaining votes and backing. • • The producers of one reality show about logging asked the owner to have more equipment breakdowns and dangerous situations to make it more exciting for viewers. How much reality is there in today’s “reality”? • How much equality is there in today’s “equality”? • You can always go back to the well as long as someone keeps filling it. What’s the reality of this action?

“Abraham Lincoln Quotes”

Abraham Lincoln is like a friend who always gives you good advice. It’s not just the humanity and wisdom of what he says; I feel that every word comes from the heart. It’s a rare gift in any time or place.

“Benjamin Franklin Quotes”

I took these ten Benjamin Franklin quotes and used them to illustrate both the universality of human behavior and their usefulness as a touchstone in understanding politics. • Politics is all about people – Numbers in politics are always an afterthought; used to convince a public brought up on the pseudoscience of pie charts and percentages. [That the same basic data can be used to support widely differing conclusions is common knowledge, and usage, among corporate report writers.] • Like the Mark Twain quotes; once again, there is an insight into human nature that overrides the “issues” that are used to distract us. • Since human nature is universal and unchanging: why does our bureaucracy continue to get more complicated? Why indeed.

“Mark Twain Quotes and Coloring Page”

These Mark Twain quotes are very much to the point and worth thinking about; and coloring and doodling are good ways to let the mind wander into some productive thinking territory. • • I’ve decided to add pieces and maybe a section the book to results of research into the use of visual imagery to promote creative and innovative thought. This “qualitative thinking” is based on my belief that art and ideas occupy the same area of the mind; and that the most productive thinking can be done “in situ.” • Work on the Idea Enhancement Project has been pushed to the back while I’ve been writing these books, and this will give me a chance to share the results so far and keep moving forward.

“Frequent Felons Program”

Prisons punish criminals . . . No, prisons rehabilitate criminals . . . no, wait . . . we don’t really know what the intentions of our criminal justice system is. It seems, however, to be much more comfortable with acts of criminals than their victims. • Victims are “in the wrong place at the wrong time” or “put themselves” into that situation. • Our justice system is a long term caregiver for felons; but it “shines on” the victims and their families with a “plea bargain – closure” two-step. • Criminals can turn themselves around and start with a clean slate; but the pain is never erased for the families, friends, relatives, and children of their victims. • Our criminal justice system is not the custodian of our society; it’s just a bureaucratic machine covered in human skins. • • • Cornithaca County’s University Town is refusing to delay displacing people in a homeless encampment — after all, you can’t mount a protest is you’re banned from forming a group. • How is your government using the Coronavirus for their benefit?

“The Climate Change Companion”

I hope to fill out the book more; maybe in a book review or “newsletter.” A travel section listing venues like the “Dead Zone Aquapark –The safe family play destination.” “No prey. No predators. No problems.” Sea Rising Maps for land investments in the new seashore. Articles on Climate-proofing Your Home, and The Climate Change Diet – What Food Items Will Survive or science tidbits like Canada: The New Tornado Alley and GMO on the Grow.

Solution: “The New Society” Riddle

The solution to “The New Society” riddle. • People can solve riddles and people learn new things; but it’s easier not to — people can control government; but it’s easier to let government do the driving and go along for the ride. • That’s one reason I’m so fond of fables as a learning tool; they can give the knowledge without having to experience the situation. • What about people who don’t even learn from experience? Why do people in a horror movie always split up? [Even when you tell them not to.]

Easy Riddles - “The New Society”

This version of the classic riddle is intended to involve children with thinking about government [a much older and more difficult riddle.] • The solution to the first riddle will be posted tomorrow.

Undercover Party “Follow the Bureaucrat”

These bureaucrat icons will bring a rueful smile to those who have bumped up against the monolithic government while trying to bring about change. • Dealing with people as much as they do; the seasoned bureaucrat or politician can call on a wide range of body language to spice up their flat statements of refusal and dismissal. • These gestures could be combined into a Japanese Folk Dance or a Bon Odori dance for some Bureaucratic or Doctrinal Festival.

“A Child’s Well Testing Instructions”

In the 60s, when the fines for industrial pollution were so small that the polluters never even paused; our government vowed to change all that. They did — they removed the laws. • Nowadays, with Industrial Agriculture polluting the all groundwater that they haven’t sucked dry; what advice does our government give to the rural poor? Mix bottled water with your well water to bring it below the maximum health limit levels. Thanks! • The bottom line is [if they still use “bottom line”] that if you don’t take responsibility for your family’s health, no one will. In their “wrong place at the wrong time” – “fall through the cracks” way; Authorities have more important things to worry about than the people.

“Redacted Rehab Facility”

It doesn’t exist. It doesn’t exist. If this was a conspiracy movie; I would have had an accident and bad things would be happening to everyone who saw this document. • But it doesn’t exist.

“Doctrine • Redoctrination Facility”

It’s not that far from being given the cold shoulder to being kept on ice. The Elite are always worried about keeping their mound of worldly goods and their position on the dais; and their Doctrine of privilege and hate goes a long way towards addressing those fears. • Using the lowest motives has always had the highest success rate in authoritarian societies; so a self-policing Doctrine that targets a particular group as being the cause of all suffering and misfortune is the ideal tool for distraction and control. • With the “Brain and Circuses” [Indoctrination and Recreation] curriculum established in schools; adults are persuaded they’re too “busy” with life’s struggle to stop and think — that’s a job for the Experts. • The beauty of the competitive “dog-in-a-pit” approach is that the dogs never wonder about who built the pit and Why? • Form Based Code Living is where Satire meets Science Fiction meets “That’s why we never heard from him!” whispers — it’s an intersection that’s just up ahead in Cornithaca County. • • Weren’t you just wondering what the Experts say?

“Easy Maze – School Bus Maze”

A simple maze that can be solved by young children. The “Easy Maze” Series is an activity book feature intended to involve even the youngest readers. • A school bus ride can be a scary experience.

“Form Based Code Living”

Form Based Code planning is the most authoritarian and self-serving method of zoning this side of an imperial palace — everything is ordered for the benefit of those with power and influence. • Cornithaca County’s only city and seat of power is using Form Based Codes to make their “vibrant” community a place of “historic districts,” “parks,” “walkability,” and “single-family homes and row houses” while the same Codes allow building tracts of multi-family housing and a large urban sprawl bedroom-community in rural greenspaces by calling it a “Node.” • They are getting a new marina; while we are getting a drug rehab center. • Their city is one of the country’s 20 most expensive to live in; so we get the affordable housing mandates. • There are so many buses at their University that it’s difficult to drive a car around; while I would have to walk two-and-a-half miles and stand at the side of a ditch to wait for one of the few that travel the periphery. • • Form Based Codes don’t help the needy; they just build walls to keep them out.

“Spot the Invasive Species”

You could use this as a coloring page, but there’s not much space for coloring; or anything else. Some of the most devastating examples of invasive species are also examples of deliberately introduced species. I found it interesting that some authorities downplay the problem with statements like: “‘invasive’ is a loaded word and harm is difficult to define” and that “Most introduced species do not become invasive” — this is the same as arguing that you don’t usually beat or abuse your kids or that nuclear power plants don’t usually have problems like Chernobyl; the severity of the result should override the frequency of the occurrence as a factor. Human suffering is important.

“Monsters of the Id” Movies

Forbidden Planners – On an ancient world depopulated by Form Based Code planning: space explorers discover a Bureaucrat searching for the secret of ultimate power! • • Planners of the Apes – Scientists ignore warnings of over-specialization and create a genetically perfect human for each task — but as global warming continues to accelerate change; a static society crumbles on the brink of extinction! • • The Beast from 20,000 Fandoms – Pop Personalities incite their followers to a world-wide binge of political violence! Mass cell-phone radiation fries brains as the total of “likes” goes astronomical. Is This The End? • • The Amazing Colossal Mandate – Exposure to doctrine results in a government Mandate that continues to increase in size out of all proportion to the society around it. Outstripping state and federal guidelines; it grows angry and confused — destroying the community it was meant to help! • • Creature from the Frack Lagoon – Gas is escaping from a crack in earth; and Industry scents a profit — but WHAT HORROR will they unleash FROM BELOW? • • Monolithic Monsters – Mammoth Skyscrapers of Doctrine thundering across the Earth . . . crushing ALL that stand in their path!

“Bureaucracy Reduction Act” Poster

People argue that ideas for significantly reducing bureaucracy are simplistic; but won’t admit that their own arguments are equally simplistic. • Narrow-view arguments “externalize” costs and benefits that are important factors in making a balanced decision. Industrial Agriculture likes to point to the cheap price of food in the stores, but that [not even counting environmental and human costs] is only a fraction of what the public is paying for that food — there are investment tax credits, school tax credits, electricity cost reduction, gas tax elimination, school tax credits that can return 100% of their tax from state tax revenues, and a host of subsidies, giveaways, and incentives, that are hidden from casual view. A “Flat Tax” could free up a significant portion of the 75,000 IRS workers [and who knows how many tax preparers, lawyers, etc.] for other careers that would be of much more value to society; this is an “opportunity cost” that Flat Tax opponents don’t like to deal with. Or how about the benefits from not forcing the public to navigate the tax form bureaucracy? There would certainly be an upswing in productivity. • Any societal debate that doesn’t include all the costs and benefits, and doesn’t put the welfare of people as the most important factor, is closing the door to our future.

“You Can’t Do That”

You cannot do what laws forbid you cannot do that thing • You can’t do that with all the changes changes always bring • You can’t do that you’ll rock the boat upset the status quo • Not doing things is all we’re taught and learning never grow

“The Celebrated Breakfast Program . . .”

This story highlights how the focus of a government or charitable institution can switch from the welfare of the recipients to the welfare of the program itself. After all, the program is where the time and money, and reputations are committed. It’s an actual story of the effectiveness of a school breakfast program somewhere. [And maybe many-wheres.] • Programs and charities become vested with goodness; cloaking themselves with the same moral protections as the people that are supposed to be helping — the perfect environment for bureaucracy, inefficiency, and waste. • Our government and our institutions would be much more effective if they saw themselves as self-dissolving servants of our welfare; rather than enthroning themselves as administrators. • Modern technology may be used to reduce the paperwork, but not the work. It’s like inventing the internal combustion engine; and using it to circulate air among the galley slaves. • Why do we spend $100,000 to pay someone to distribute $1,000, when it could be done with a $10 chip?

Plain Speaking/Brain Speaking: 100-Year Flood

This series will examine the dictionary meanings and the common perceptions of certain words and phrases, and show how they can be used to hide the intentions and actions of powerful political and corporate interests from the public. • 50 years ago; the idea of “killing for peace” was used to ridicule war. Today, it doesn’t seem ridiculous to imagine a government program called “Future Love” or “Affirmative Love” that would kill to achieve “Love.” • Pluto was redefined to no longer being a planet; and the individual you has been redefined as a fill-in-the-box – put-in-the-box person [“person” is added because you are “respected”]. What’s in the future? More control means smaller boxes. • It’s ironic that while Biology is turning from physical characteristics to the actions of organisms as a means of classification; government is turning from people’s actions [the only workable structuring for a free society] to a policy characterized by physical characteristics. • You know they “love” you — and just maybe they’ll “love” you to death.

“Inclusion/Exclusion Pattern”

The tiles in this image form a repeating pattern where the Green crosses never touch sides, the Magenta crosses seldom touch sides, the Blue crosses usually touch sides, and the Yellow crosses almost always touch sides: explain this pattern in terms of inclusion, exclusion, and loss of identity.

“Meaningful Participation Erasers”

As Cornithaca County steamrollers its way into ever more blatant displays of dictatorial and doctrinal hubris; the use of “meaningful participation erasers” is a bureaucratic given for every public policy enacted. • Their theocracy [The Revealed Church of Secular Self-interest] empowers the elite to hand down policy from the highest possible level: themselves [soon to be capitalized.] And unlike the Divine Right of Kings, they don’t share their authority; even with God. • There is an uneasiness that can actually be felt. There is no job security. People who have differing opinions are lashed out at and defiled in public. Scary stuff. • • Is this just over the top rhetoric? What do you see? Maybe there’s no “post” to go with apocalyptic. Extinction is just as natural as evolution.

Undercover Party - “Pig in a Poke” Game

In a world that no longer recognizes human or individual worth; “due process” is no longer needed. All that’s required are Judges, and those who will be judged. • • In Cornithaca County and throughout the whole State: fetuses of any age are no longer human. It’s the Law. • • Who’s next? The elderly, the infirmed, the deficient, the troublemakers; it’s just a matter of time . . . and Doctrine — all the big steps have already been taken.

Chipping Away . . . Lines of Defense – Part 7

I like to recommend the movie Ikiru to people for its portrayal of bureaucracy in Japan in the early 1950s; the same as here and now, and everywhere at every time — I would recommend it for many reasons; it’s a great movie. • • Bureaucracy’s no mystery - It’s unchanged throughout history - With power, privilege, and with wealth - It works to keep them for itself.

Chipping Away . . . Lines of Defense – Part 6

Like any testing, meaningfully involving yourself in government policy requires being prepared. Not just prepared with the facts and information, but being prepared to use them in a constructive and meaningful way. What are your plans? • Having a vision can give you the resolve for the long haul. • • If my more conventional attempts had worked; I wouldn’t be writing this book. And if I could have handed the job off to someone else; this book would never have been started. • • • Coronavirus? When our governor banned gatherings of 500 people or more; a little chill went down my spine. I wonder how many people felt the same uneasiness.

Chipping Away . . . Lines of Defense – Part 5

I live in an Ag Ghetto. I call it an Ag Ghetto because the local policy is one of containment: contain the poverty, contain the crime, contain the drugs. The deputies patrol the borders of the Ag Zone and only enter when called, write a report, and leave. A kid was tossed onto the road outside my house while playing a game where they stand on the truck of a car as it drives around. It’s the sort of games they allow kids to play in the Ag Ghetto. He landed on his head. He died. • • The Ag Zone is no Old MacDonald’s Farm; it more like “Fire Down Below”: people use the land as a dumping ground, buy off the residents futures with next to nothing, while telling them they’re lucky to get anything at all — and the residents know who calls the shots at the sheriff’s dept. and the regulatory offices.

Chipping Away . . . Lines of Defense – Part 4

Getting “public servants” to see eye-to-eye with the public on policy decisions goes beyond logic, and into the world of politics. Even with a groundswell of public support; committees, experts, and agenda filled studies can be used to load the deck and leave the public on the sidelines. No one can divert a flood of voter concern into a thousand rivulets of fast-drying intentions better than an experienced politician. • • With Cornithaca County’s large college population and their 4-year memory; the sands of time are turned into a veritable sponge for false promises and self-serving policies. The legacy of this year’s biggest event is, a few months later, merely the mention that it was last year’s biggest event, and within another year almost forgotten. • • Politicians know that the students are ephemeral, but the powerful interests are always there.

Chipping Away . . . Lines of Defense – Part 3

It’s never a good idea to use government and municipal handouts as the sole source of fact gathering; they always put themselves in the best light possible — even if they have to smash a few light bulbs to keep us in the dark. • In Cornithaca County, it’s laid on thick: our town’s new Comprehensive Plan states that the factory farm agriculture in the north of town prevents development and keeps taxes lower, and that extensively developing the south of the town with condos and apartments is good because that will lower taxes as well. They refuse to explain or correct this conundrum. • This new Comp Plan document is over 300 pages long, and is stored at the County level as images only; it can no longer be searched by the public for words and phrases.

Chipping Away . . . Lines of Defense – Part 2

I had publicly spoken out, written letters and argued for responsive, participatory government and rural justice for years before this incident [that some of my neighbors thought was no accident] and still do; but somehow I was changed — there was a glowing ember inside me that never goes out. • • This book is not a monument to be viewed from the outside, it’s meant to invite people inside, to involve and challenge them; any pieces in the book are pieces to be built on and to move ahead. • • Cornithaca County. I just put that in because.

Chipping Away . . . Lines of Defense – Part 1

The fight to retain human dignity and worth is being lost every time someone sighs because corruption, greed, and deceit will always be with us, and checks their phone for tonight’s party. It’s a battle where it seems that every time you type in a letter, they hit the “backspace” button, and it’s a burden you can’t push off on somebody else. • If you end up in a fast moving river; you can stand against the current, struggle to move against the current, or just relax and end up wherever the current takes you — but if the same person who brought you there won’t show you the map . . .

“Chipping Away at Bureaucracy” Introduction

Cornithaca County’s elite and their corporate and institutional partners never worry where their next perk or profit is coming from: they just announce, “The County needs . . .” and create the program or pass the legislation to make it happen. • The lesser functionaries and businesses run along behind this well-connected combine of perpetual profit; fighting over whatever scraps are tossed to them. • • While Cornithaca County’s functional dictatorship continuously mocks the concept of any meaningful participation in government; residents in other areas may still have a chance to regain a government of “public servants,” rather than a government that sees the public as the servants.

“The Hog Farm and the Hurricane”

If there is any bi-partisan agreement in this country, it’s the importance of “Big Ag” [a conglomerate of corporate Agribusinesses, Industrial Farms, the “Food industry,” and Politicians]. • It’s not surprising that a group with that much money and power [coupled with a “City-centric” media and a government policy that claims to eschew race, gender, and national origin in their forward looking society, and yet uses them as the basis of every decision and piece of legislation] is able to suppress what is being done to rural families in our country. • It’s also not surprising that in Cornithaca County, a place so Liberal that their feet scarcely touch the land they hold dominion over; their mouths overflow with a dismissive contempt — reviling the rural community as “hillbillies,” “good old boys,” “trailer trash,” “ignorant,” “bigoted,” and “Lily Whites,” without ever having met or spoken with one. • This bigotry will be exposed, and well documented, in Part 2 of Cornithaca County. • • Does changing the target, change the act? If so, where does that thinking come from?

“Doctrine Quality Advisory” Poster

“It hasn’t happened yet” is probably the best description of this poster. If you have spoken at any length with, or read the ideas of these Doctrine holders; you have probably realized that they will not admit to any doubt or allow others to live in a manner that conflicts with that Doctrine. Differing beliefs are wrong and must be immediately corrected: by persuasion, accusations, intimidation, or even physical force. • • “Once a government is committed to the principle of silencing the voice of opposition, it has only one way to go, and that is down the path of increasingly repressive measures, until it becomes a source of terror to all its citizens and creates a country where everyone lives in fear.” — Harry S. Truman

Family Fables – “The Rice Grain Moral”

The Minister of Education had brought new teachers and ideas to the schools in the kingdom, and done such a good job that the King told him to name his reward. • The Minister asked just for a few grains of rice in the following manner: pointing to a chessboard he said, “Put a single grain of rice on the first chess square and double it on every consequent one.” • The King laughed and readily agreed • Then the Minister continued: “Oh my King, that reward would add up to an impossible sum, far greater than all the rice your kingdom could produce in many centuries!” • The King quickly realized he would be unable to fulfill his promise; and was so angered at being tricked that he proclaimed: “None of my people shall rest until they have completed this task!” • • Moral: Rationality is a virtue of the weak. • • What’s so scary about fables? The same thing that’s scary about wisdom; it shows up the pretentions of the self-serving and the fool. • Cornithaca County seeks to suppress the lessons of history and the rationality of wisdom, and substitute their new paradigm: “Doctrine = Wisdom.”

“The Rural Families Landfill”

When you control all the Institutions, all the Bureaucracies, all the Lawmakers, all the Experts in the county, and are connected through the highest reaches of State and Federal power; you do whatever you want. • The College Town was looking for a community to take over and remake for their own benefit, and they did. • • Oh, and they write the history as well.

“The New Bell Shaped Curve”

In a single-source-of-truth, “lossy” society; “outliers” are always fair game. An outlier is a person or thing that is markedly different or detached from the others in a particular group, class, or category. How does Cornithaca County deal with outliers? The answer is simple: Outliers hold anomalous values, they’re a source of disruption and discontent, so just delete them. • They may start with people of a different race, gender, national origin or belief — but they won’t stop there.

“Obsessive Compulsive Doctrine” Poster 3

In a county where lock-step legislators rule on the basis of doctrinal code; you don’t think that your child’s education would be any different. [If you think about their education at all beyond hearing: “It’s the Best!”] • Imagine even art being taught as a group activity, where your ideas need to be approved by everyone in the group, or you cannot contribute to the picture. In Cornithaca County it’s called “collaboration” — in history it’s called “oppression.”

The Myth of Rational Science

It’s more than just lab coats; there seems to be an aura of “otherness” that pervades scientific experimentation. It’s as if their actions have the same natural inevitability as gravity, and are divorced from the human sphere of care and compassion. • Their view from the scientific heights delights in portraying people as insignificant and ephemeral, but it’s only people that give Science any meaning. • Science is not in the service of the Universe, it’s in the service of people.

Whole Human Replacement Parts

As Artificial Intelligence looms larger and larger, overshadowing humanity, there is one clear result — nothing is being done to protect us. The actuality of human displacement has been met, not with protections or retraining programs, but with indifference and vague assurances of new jobs in the future. There’s not even a mention of what country those jobs will be in. • • There is an old joke in which a corporate “tycoon” vacationing in a small fishing village instructs a skilled fisherman on the steps he can take to become rich so he can retire and enjoy life. The fisherman responds by asking “Why? I’m doing that right now.” • We could have a simpler and much more fulfilling life with all the latest technology, but then where would the “tycoons” be? • • The once independent rural community I live in has been taken over by an affluent suburban pastiche of incomers. They recently pushed through a 300 page Comprehensive Plan whose most influential writer stated that she didn’t think the rural people “deserved to live there.” • There won’t be any “fishing villages” in their Cornithaca County!

Do•Doctrine Nail Art Advertisement

It’s a common occurrence in satire to question whether something is actually satirical or not. Since the Cornithaca County book is intended to challenge the reader, I have tried not to give even that solid ground. Some parts are obviously outrageous and others quite “sensible.” It’s easy today to only connect with the people and sites that reinforce your beliefs and not be exposed to different ways of viewing the world. Thinking and learning can be uncomfortable, but there’s a comfort in realizing you are part of a larger world than you ever knew existed. • • A larger image of the advertisement can be viewed on my blog: Rural Tompkins County – The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Credentials.

Back to School – “The Gift of Grab”

Have you ever gotten those large, bulging envelopes from charitable fund raisers and wondered who is paying for all the printed enclosures, the cards, address labels, pens, t-shirts, ornaments, personalized note pads and attention-getters they contain? • Do you wait in a long line at the only open check-out counter, only to be publicly questioned about your charitable intentions so the store’s owners can brag about how generous they are? • • Non-profits are increasingly using aggressive and psychologically manipulative means to enrich themselves; and why not? — Since they are “good” by definition; every act is cleansed. Cornithaca County’s Corporate-Educational-Non-profit- Bureaucrat-Conglomerate is more that “good” by their own definition; they’re “better.” • And if you’re “better,” what acts can’t you justify?

Back to School – “The TMDL Theory”

Another structured lesson for students. Government authorities have traditionally claimed to aim at perfection and have fallen far short. You can imagine how far short they’ve fallen when they only strive to reach adequacy — or you could take a look around and not have to imagine. • • You know you live in Cornithaca County when they don’t fix the problem, just change the definition.

Back to School – The “Lossy” Society

Since learning of my Family Farm Fun book being used for home schooling in Agricultural Pollution and Rural Justice topics, I decided to consciously add structured lessons to the content of this book. I hope that they will encourage the imaginative and creative thought that has [except for lip service] been removed from the classroom. • • Is this an example of the Lossy Society?

“Map Maze”

Like the “Stone Monuments” Maze, this maze is just for fun and has no connection to the Cornithaca County agenda of the book. It’s one of the places set aside for the reader to relax. The solution has been added to this image. In this book, as in the Family Farm Fun book, the solutions to all the puzzles and mazes will be given in the back.

“The Myth of Responsible Science”

In a time of “doing good by definition,” it’s important to look behind the bureaucratic billboards and see what their “vision of the future” is actually like. Non-profits are defined as “good” [even if 80% of the donations are siphoned off before they trickle down to the needy] and so is “Science.” • • Why is it that so many professions that deal in cold hard cash and cold hard facts are now cloaking themselves in compassion and concern? • The answer is revealed in Cornithaca County.

“The Myth of Science” again and again

Every new advancement seems to promise freedom, and deliver conformity. In Cornithaca County, everyone is busy — busy conforming. • • When computer programs for publishing were first becoming popular commercially, designers were be able to tell which program was used for a publication because each one “channeled” the design into a recognizable form. • • The channeling of today’s devices and apps can be just as controlling, and more insidious, than any totalitarian government. • • Take some time to examine what’s happening to you — if you’re not too busy.

“The Myth of Science”

Is Science right? • • When the practice is as simple as giving someone food, Science creates Industrial Farming; releasing Genetically Modified Organisms and Cancer causing pesticides in a doomed-to-failure “I’m bigger than you!” race with overpopulation — while at the same time destroying the arable land, polluting the fishable waters, and accelerating global warming seasonal changes that are decimating the crops much of the world has relied upon for thousands of years. • • The real question may be: “Is Science rational?”

“Ruler of All You Survey”

In Cornithaca County; the “puppet show” never stops, and the theme is usually Public Participation. The elite conduct public surveys on the county’s “needs” — needs that have already been decided before the survey questions were ever were made up. • The survey results gain legitimacy from a list of “interested parties” [although who they are or how to get on this list is a mystery] and school children [under the guidance of their teacher/authority figure]. While the children are too young by law to be entrusted with mature decision making, their teacher can instruct them on how they should decide the county’s future policies. Input from the county’s adult taxpaying residents is not actively solicited. • • While the areas of policy involved may differ — every decision gives Cornithaca County’s elite more power, more money, and more control over the lives of others.

New Word - “Redoctrinated”

You can’t achieve Cornithaca’s “One Thought – One Taught” goal without an all-pervading redoctrinated bureaucracy of information and education; what may surprise readers is how ubiquitous this bureaucracy has become. •• When you start to examine all the communications around you, the link between redoctrination and indoctrination will become clear. • Rural people are always objects of ridicule and portrayed as the “bad guys” in Cornithaca County — what’s happening in your community?

“Son of a Prominent Atheist”

For Cornithaca’s secular doctrine holders, everything is reimagined in their own self-interest; so it’s not surprising that all the negative mud-throwing is directed at other people’s beliefs. • • Since any belief about religion is a religious belief, and since their secular “holier than God” attitude is just as morally arrogant as any “holier than thou” one; this page discloses the kind of doctrine deflating headlines that you should [but never will] see in newspapers.

“Obsessive Compulsive Doctrine Mythbusters”

These three “Mythbuster” spots accurately convey the “tone” of modern social-psychiatric thinking; focusing on and sympathizing with the actions of the perpetrators, and trivializing their victims. • • What’s the difference to the safety of the community between a bi-polar with a history of violence who is not prescribed medication, and one who does not take the medication they are prescribed? • None. It’s all about accountability and doctrine, the victims are merely collateral damage.

“Tell All? Tongue Twisters”

Cornithaca’s elite easily speak words that mean nothing, and have great difficulty with those that do mean something. Speaking the following phrase may be possible for residents; getting the facts from these Twisted Tompkins Tongue Twisters is not. • • Sue’s shrewd strewn sheepskin shaped shuffling snowshoes slowed slipshod sleuths’ swift sniff sifting Siberians so sore sheriffs’ shots slurried snow spall spoiled spruces.

“Obsessive Compulsive Doctrine” Posters

“Obsessive Compulsive Doctrine” poster, and follow-up poster. • “Is this OCD? Just because someone annoys you, it doesn’t mean that you have Obsessive Compulsive Doctrine. It’s much more than being irritated by opinions that conflict with your beliefs. Don’t trivialize OCD.” •• These are the first two Cornithaca County "OCD" posters in the series. The risk to our safety is increasing.

“Doctrine Anger Assessment Chart”

The progression of angry facial expressions is based on the pain assessment charts found in medical treatment rooms. The top of the picture shows the enlarged chart with the whole page being shown on the bottom. • Anger is an important factor in the ascendance of doctrine in Cornithaca County. Many people I talk to are afraid to express themselves publicly because of the anger that is directed to them by an ideologically controlled mob. These “doctrine holders” don’t persuade by their love, they control through their hate. This behavior matches the early pattern of the worst tyrannies in history. • The page ends with a quote from Frederick Douglass: “To make a contented slave it is necessary to make a thoughtless one.” • • Unthinking anger and hate are the great doctrinal cleansers of Cornithaca County.

“College Town CPR” Poster

When Cornithaca County’s cleverest get into trouble — they look for patsies. The College Town always looked down their noses at their rural neighbors and had nothing to do with them, until their arrogance got them into serious troubles; then using their money, power and Ivy League influence, they reimagined the county as a way to dump all those troubles on their neighbors instead. • Just one example: Their planners created the myth of “rural sprawl” and pushed through the development of ugly urban-sprawl bedroom communities in the green spaces of neighboring towns in order to “combat” this horror. It’s enough to make a cat laugh, and rural residents weep. • • In the “county’s” most recent comprehensive plan, the College Town is said to “define” the county’s future, and the rural community no longer exists.

“You Can Walk Both Sides of a One-way Street”

To the elite of Cornithaca County; the only wrongdoing is not getting what you want. Smiles, shouts, assurances and denunciations are only tools of the policy making that insures their continued profit. • In a county that is almost universally thought of as thoroughly corrupt and without any meaningful public participation, the elite launch “ethics” probes against people who oppose their plans. • • What do they do when they themselves are accused of misconduct? They refuse to do anything; they refuse to acknowledge the accusation, they refuse to investigate, they refuse to carry out their sworn duty under the law, they just refuse. They decide what they want to do, and that’s that. • • Their actions and arrogance demand something beyond “hypocritical” — that’s “Cornithaca County.”

“Reproductive Responsibility”

In the 1960’s Liberals were constantly using the adverb “absolutely” in defining the rights and freedoms of citizens. They realized that there can be no protection from rights and freedoms that have been compromised. Today’s New Religion politicians have come 180 degrees from that belief, and work to destroy anything that can obstruct the spread of their controlling secular doctrine. Their “rights” and “entitlements” are gifts with no responsibilities attached, but there is an expiration date — the day they take control.

“Early Harvest” Poster

“A new law brings new hope to those waiting for replacement organs. Physician-assisted Organ Harvesting (PAOH) legislation has opened the door to a better future for our community. Early Harvest is a humane solution that balances the maintenance of the elderly with the continued care of our at-risk younger population. Physicians know when the time is right, so don’t be afraid of the change. • It’s your doctor’s choice . . . and it’s your duty.” •• Is this a satire? With abortions and assisted suicides already bookending the population, the rest is just filling in. The “Rights” of the individual are only tools, used by the elite of Cornithaca County for their own benefit: They have no independent existence, and may be changed without notice. • Of course there will have to be exemptions to the law for those who are important . . .

“Stone Monuments” Maze

This two-page maze is unusual in that it has no connection to the Cornithaca County theme of the book. It’s one of the places set aside for relaxing — giving the reader a chance to enjoy the engravings on the face of the stone tiles without analysis.

“Crocodile Tears” Hopscotch

The Victim’s Fault of “being in the wrong place at the wrong time” could very well refer to Cornithaca County in 2020: where the elite of Revealed Church of Secular Self-interest believe that goodness is not a way of life, but a way to make a very good living. • In a county that practices outreach as a way take, not to give, the poor rural families are being forced out by high property taxes and repressive municipal codes while its government concerns itself with creating a template for How People Must Live. • Cornithaca County is a New Religion dictatorship, and as its full extent is revealed, you may be frightened to see how much of it is already being put into place where you live. •• You know you live in a Cornithaca County: When the public can’t ask questions at a public meeting. •• One Thought • One Taught • One Voice • One Choice.

“Non-Profits of the Caribbean” Movie Poster

People in Cornithaca County will climb anything to look down their noses at others, and what better way than working in a non-profit — they’re recession proof and smug in an “I’ve got a giving sticker on my BMW” way. • And whether you see it as pirated giving or the big dog gets the prize; today’s biggest non-profits have become so powerful and venerated, they seem more important than the causes they wave. A perfect match for Cornithaca’s “vibrant community” façade.

“Monolithic Monsters” Movie Poster

If you grew up watching and loving science fiction B-movies, I hope this poster brings back memories. Just as in many of those films, atomic bombs were discovered to cause monstrous mutations, politicians and bureaucrats have taken the crack that Affirmative Action put in our protections and blasted it into a life threatening fissure — Cornithaca County residents have no meaningful participation in its “monolithic” government, and no protection from its all-inclusive policy decisions. • As this corporate-political “vision” of how everyone must live expands it control, local governments that have been taken over are now instituting “ethics” probes that reimagine the 50’s Congressional witch hunts. •• If you remember those old movies, you’ll remember that things did not always end well. • You know you live in Cornithaca County: When you’re told not to write this book.

“Pin the Tail on the Media” Game

This is a revision of the “Pin the Tail on the Legislator” game in the Family Farm Fun book, in color, with a little more bite, and just clean satirical fun. [I have a number of pieces on media shortcomings planned — they are truly deserving of our lack of respect.] • You know you live in Cornithaca County: When “journalistic integrity” is an oxymoron. • After I sent documentation of rural social injustice to the local newspaper a few years ago, and urged them to write about this issue, I was told it would “confuse” their readers — an odd comment for a University Town newspaper. It’s the same town where the cooperatively owned, “independent bookstore” refused to even consign the Family Farm Fun book.

“Escape from Cornithaca County” Game

This simple 2-page board game satirizes a place where the community has country club aspirations and sitcom sensibilities, and the cultural festivals are filled with people stuffing their faces and listening to free music. In Cornithaca County, it’s all beneath the surface [and sometimes in the cookery.] • It’s a game that even your young children can play — just don’t buy them anything from the food tents.

“Fundraising Professional’s Motto” Sampler

Here are some other thoughts on non-profits: • Fundraisers act as if there is an endless sea of giving. The greater likelihood is that there is a limited pool of giving, and the more non-profits with highly paid fundraisers and staffing, and expensive administration and fundraising programs are successful, the more of that limited pool is used for “overhead.” This leads to a cycle where those who distribute the highest percentage of the funding they receive to the needy are increasingly disadvantaged in raising those funds. Historically, 100% of charitable contributions were distributed locally, by non-paid volunteers, to those in the community whose needs were known — charities are changing from a way of living, to way of making a living. • Should a Food Pantry that raises much more funding than it needs, bank the excess? • Should two charitable organizations with the same mission, and overlapping outreach, merge together and reduce costs for the benefit of the needy? • How long and how much money should the search for a cure consume before it becomes sensible to apply that funding to a more successful area? • Do people who make large salaries working for non-profits have any more inner goodness than those in other occupations?

Easy Maze – “Lake HAB Maze”

The runoff that spews from industrial farms, Is kept off the news to suppress the alarms. • You’d better be careful of touching those HABs! • So round up your poodles, rottweilers and labs. •• Another maze that is simple enough for a very young child to solve. The rhymes can be used as the basis for home schooling or a classroom assignment. • Time for another “9 Point Plan”?!

Easy Maze – “Salt Mine Maze”

10 billion tons of water — you’re under the lake, How much undercutting can the rock supports take? • That trickle of water is nobody’s trick, So drop your tools now, and get out of there quick! •• This maze is simple enough for a very young child to solve. It can also be colored, and figures and fish added for fun. • What is the real risk? — the mining company is funded by a high risk hedge fund and won’t show their geologist’s reports, while Cornithaca County and the state split 99% of the mining lease and tax income. The rural town where all the mine shafts are located, and that gets all the salt truck traffic receives chump change, and is bypassed on all decision making.

“Predacious Paper-Pushers” - Three Species

Here are three more of the Predacious Paper-Pusher sign boards that will appear throughout the book. If you can’t read the signage on the image: • The “Terrordoctrine” – This predator-from-above swoops down on its prey whenever they utter the wrong words. Although it is only a bureaucratic form, and without creditable substance, the Terrordoctrine is known to have inflicted career ending injuries to low-level employees. • The “Praying Mandate” – Holding the pose of goodness and vulnerability, this New Millennium predator will eat anything, including other mandates. After an initial “we’re all family” mating ritual, the female mandate swallows up the male mandate, leaving only one gender – the “Single Mandate.” • The “Not-for-profish” – Introduced as a means to equitably distribute the nutrients for societal well-being, its ravenous appetite and prolific breeding tactics have devastated the social ecosystem, leaving the at risk population marginalized and with little to sustain themselves. •• The humorous presentation belies the actual seriousness of the situation in Cornithaca County. The second part of this book will present incidents and issues of misconduct that show, even though a citizen has “dotted all the i’s,” and persisted through a discouraging bureaucratic accountability pass-a-round, that in the end the government will do nothing because — they don’t want to.

“Predacious Paper-Pushers” - Two Species

Here are a couple of the Predacious Paper-Pusher sign boards that will appear throughout the book. The “Bureaucrack” was used in the Users and Losers game pages. • If you can’t read the signage on the image: The “Bureaucrack”- Unnoticed among the clutter of forms and layered departments of public office, lurks the Bureaucrack. Just one phrase or legislative revision can open up a family swallowing crevasse where the unwary who “fall through the cracks” are never seen again. • The “Edugator” - Closely related to the Legisgator, the Edugator has an insatiable appetite. It lurks among the youngest pupils and its cries mimic the voices of needy children – “It’s not the educational costs you can see that kill you.” • In Cornithaca County schools; some teachers not only tell their students what to think, but who to vote for. It’s true. A County where the residents have no meaningful participation in government, has no need to bother with ethical considerations. [You wouldn’t believe what they do to get the school budgets passed.]

New Words: Bigocrit

Definition of bigocrit•• 1 : a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or good will, but who regards or treats the members of a group (such as a white male or non-Hispanic group) with hatred and intolerance• 2 : a person who acts in contradiction to his or her oath of office and is obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudice. — Holding up high moral, ethical, and social standards to mask self-serving and intolerant actions is the mark of a bigocrit.

“Users and Losers” Board Game

These 6-pages from the book can be copied [or scanned and printed] and cut out to make a playable board game based on the classic “Snakes and Ladders.” The ladders are climbed by “using” the virtues of others, and players are pushed down the chutes when they in turn are used through the vices of others. • There is no great or hidden message, only a cautionary theme for today’s social interactions. As one of the pages states: “You know you live in Cornithaca County: When it’s better to start a non-profit to feed the poor, than to feed the poor.” — Users come in many guises. •• A larger image of the gamer is viewable in my blog: “Rural Tompkins County – The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Credentials”

Bigotry: The Musical –“The Bigots are Coming”

This is another of the songs I’ve roughed in for the musical. I haven’t worked out a story line, but it will fun to see what can be “constructed” with the pieces. First, I’ll need to make an “armature” for the musical, next the pieces can be attached in various ways, and a few coherent ideas will emerge — then process will be repeated to refine the vision. There is also the visual Paybill vernacular to fulfill as well. Projects with both verbal and non-verbal facets are uniquely satisfying creatively.

“Don’t Ban Kitchen Knives” Poster

This page presents a poster from a group opposing the Safe Act II legislation that would ban the possession of kitchen knives by citizens. The fight for control of the kitchen is on — and you thought changing the family menu was a problem. Only in Cornithaca County. A larger image of the poster is viewable in my blog: “Rural Tompkins County – The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Credentials”

“Ban Kitchen Knives” Poster

This page presents a poster promoting new state legislation (Safe Act II) enacted to ban the possession of kitchen knives by citizens. There will be a second poster opposing this new legislation. Fear and Smear is commonly used in Cornithaca County to create anxiety and keep the residents off balance. The cumulative effect of all this new legislation is to gain complete control of every aspect of daily living. If you think this is farfetched, you don’t really know Cornithaca County. A larger image of the poster is viewable in my blog: “Rural Tompkins County – The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Credentials”

Song: “Oh, What a Beautiful Doctrine”

Bigotry: The Musical – This is the first time the term “New Religion” has been mentioned in the book’s preview. I think of it as Cornithaca County’s “Revealed Church of Secular Self-interest” and the Three Laws of Doctrine: 1.) Doctrine is everything. 2.) All doctrine is handed down from the elite. 3.) All doctrine is subject to change without notice. • The lyrics of the songs and excerpts of dialog will appear throughout the book [as will spin-offs: games, puzzles, etc. based on the musical.] — Other planned musical numbers include: “People Who Use People,” “You Probably Think this World is about You,” “I’d Like to Fill the World with Kids,” “Ain’t We Got Guns,” and “Let’s Call the Whole Vote Off. •• A larger image of this book page is viewable on my blog: “Rural Tompkins County – The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Credentials”

9-Point Plan Game

Players compete to fool the public while allowing the biggest polluters to continue their “business as usual” destruction of the environment. • Write in your cronies and write off the community — while your career hangs in the balance of the next 9-Point Plan — Crony Committees • Polluter Friendly Oversight • Voluntary Guidelines • Camouflaged Statistics • Allowable Pollution • No Meaningful Public Participation • Minimized Dangers. •• A larger preview of this page is viewable in my blog: “Rural Tompkins County – The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Credentials”

Family Fables – The Two Towns

In Cornithaca County there were two very different towns. The rural town wanted to bring in a gas line so that businesses could locate there and help shore up their town’s dwindling tax base. But the County Legislature, most of whom lived in the other town, cried that this would be destructive to the environment, and even went to the state capitol so that it was prevented. • Then the other town, a University Town where most of the County Legislature lived, approved a project that included a three-quarters of a million square foot, 2,000 bed student dormitory powered by natural gas and would require 26 acres of disturbed land. The County Legislature was silent. •• It’s not what you do, it’s who you are. And who you know. ••• Pure Cornithaca County.

Family Fables – The Wise Man and the Fools

At a planning conference there was a Lecturer who greatly impressed the attendees with his slide show of Form-Based Code Planning. He finished off with a vision for the County that was so breathtaking that the spectators stood up and applauded. But a Citizen who stood at the back shouted: "Call that sales pitch a plan! Nothing like it. You give me till tomorrow and I’ll show you what that plan is really based on." The audience laughed, but next day, sure enough, the Citizen appeared on the stage, and putting his presentation on the screen, so undercut the Lecturer’s “vision” that the attendees cat-called and booed to make him stop. "You fools!" he cried, "See what you have been applauding," and pointed to the many flaws that were exposed by his logical analysis, but he was shouted off the stage. •• Moral: Bureaucrats would rather commit to a boondoggle than be shown up as fools. • If the Citizen was truly wise he would have known that. ••• Form-based codes are part of the New Urbanism and represent an urban viewpoint. Cornithaca County uses form-based codes in rural towns to expand their power base and drive out the existing rural community.

The Charity and Its Gold

Once upon a time there was a Food Pantry Administrator who used to deposit all the grant money into a special bank account; and every week he used to log in and gloat over the balance. A thief, who was aware of this account, stole the password and emptied the account. When the Administrator next came to gloat over his balance, he found nothing but the empty account. He tore his hair, and raised such an outcry that all the volunteers came around him, and he told them how he used to log in to check the account every week. "Did you ever take any of it out?" asked one of them. • "Of course not," said he, "I only logged in to look at the balance." • "Then log in again and look at the empty account," said the volunteer; "it will do the hungry just as much good." •• Charitable gifts undisposed might as well not exist.

The People, the People, and the Government

After a dispute had arisen between two groups of people, one group came to some Politicians and asked for their help to legislate against the other group. The Politicians agreed, but said: "If you desire this legislation, you must permit us to place some restrictions on the rights of all citizens, so that we may pass these laws, and allow us to decide where and how this should be done so that we may keep everyone upon the path to a better society." The group agreed to the conditions, and the Politicians soon put these restrictions and laws in place. When with the aid of this legislation that group had won out against the other, they said to the Politicians: "Now, remove those restrictions and give us back our rights." • "Not so fast, friends," said the Politicians. "Now that we have these powers, we prefer to keep things as they are at present." • If you allow a government to abrogate rights for your own purposes, they will abrogate rights for theirs. •• In Cornithaca County, everything is controlled by a corporate-institutional bureaucracy. There is no meaningful public participation in government.

Family Fables – The Man and the Mural

A woman and a man were discussing the relative positions of women and men in society. The woman contended that she and her sisters were more deserving than men by reason of their greater worth. "Come now with me," she cried, "and I will soon prove that I am right." So she took him into the public meeting hall and showed him a new mural depicting women’s greatness in all things. • "That is all very well," said the man, "but proves nothing, for it was a woman who painted that mural." • We can easily represent things as we wish them to be. •• This fable is changed very little from “The Lion and the Statue.” I have reversed some fables, twisted them, and made some ambivalent, and mixed things up, to remove the reader’s comfort zone and provoke thought. For the same reasons, thoughts of the most respected “icons” in the history of social development will be printed at the bottom of some pages in this book, as a benchmark against which current social theories can be measured.

Family Fables – The Sun and the Wind

The Sun of Illumination and the Wind of Doctrine were disputing which was the stronger. Suddenly they saw a citizen coming down the road, and the Sun said: "I see a way to decide our dispute. Whichever of us can cause that citizen to shed his rights and beliefs shall be regarded as the stronger. I’ll begin." • So the Wind diminished and hid itself, and the Sun began to shine a persuasive illumination upon the citizen. But although he shined brighter and ever brighter, the citizen held up his rights and beliefs as a shield between them, till at last the Sun had to give up in despair. • Then the Wind came out and blew a relentless gale of denunciations upon the citizen, who was soon too battered and dazed to hold onto anything. • Moral: Force can be more useful than persuasion in establishing a new social system. • • Investigative material and previews of the book are viewable in my blog: “Rural Tompkins County – The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Credentials”

You Know You Live in Cornithaca County . . 2

As in the first group, these sayings are an iteration that is used like an armature to give structure to the satirical pieces in part one of Cornithaca County, an armature constructed from the investigations and conclusions contained in the second part of the book. Large type was used on the page to increase visibility. Investigative material and previews of the book are viewable in my blog: “Rural Tompkins County – The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Credentials”

You Know You Live in Cornithaca County . . .

“You Know You Live In . . .” sayings follow the same style of iteration as the “You Know You Live Near . . .” captions in my factory farming picture book. It’s a simple way to set the stage for the satirical pieces in the first part of the Cornithaca County book while connecting to the investigations in the second part. Large type was used on the page to increase visibility. Investigative material and previews of the book are viewable in my blog: “Rural Tompkins County – The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Credentials”

Cornithaca County Limericks

Limericks are a great way to explore the vagaries of the human condition, and also a great way to teach kids about poetry. More than just rhyming, limericks combine the brevity of flash fiction with the need to hold all the elements in balance until a proper “mix” is achieved. Limericks are short and, usually in the last line, to the point. Large type was used on the page to increase visibility. Investigative material and previews of the book are viewable in my blog: “Rural Tompkins County – The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Credentials”

Bigotry: The Musical – “Ain’t We Got Guns”

A larger image of this book page is viewable on my blog: “Rural Tompkins County – The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Credentials” — Bigotry: The Musical - The lyrics of the songs and excerpts of dialog will appear throughout the book [as will spin-offs: games, puzzles, etc. based on the musical.] — Planned musical numbers include: “Oh, What a Beautiful Doctrine,” “People Who Use People,” “You Probably Think this World is about You,” “I’d Like to Fill the World with Kids,” “Ain’t We Got Guns,” and “Let’s Call the Whole Vote Off.”

Song: “I’d Like to Fill the World with Kids”

A larger image of this book page is viewable on my blog: “Rural Tompkins County – The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Credentials” — Bigotry: The Musical - The lyrics of the songs and excerpts of dialog will appear throughout the book [as will spin-offs: games, puzzles, etc. based on the musical.] — Planned musical numbers include: “Oh, What a Beautiful Doctrine,” “People Who Use People,” “You Probably Think this World is about You,” “I’d Like to Fill the World with Kids,” “Ain’t We Got Guns,” and “Let’s Call the Whole Vote Off.”

Song: “Let’s Call the Whole Vote Off”

A larger image of this book page is viewable on my blog: “Rural Tompkins County – The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Credentials” — Bigotry: The Musical - The lyrics of the songs and excerpts of dialog will appear throughout the book [as will spin-offs: games, puzzles, etc. based on the musical.] — Planned musical numbers include: “Oh, What a Beautiful Doctrine,” “People Who Use People,” “You Probably Think this World is about You,” “I’d Like to Fill the World with Kids,” “Ain’t We Got Guns,” and “Let’s Call the Whole Vote Off.”

Bigotry – The Musical

This is the cover of the theatre magazine that will showcase the cast, scenes and musical numbers, a synopsis of the story, and [of course] the advertiser’s pages. The lyrics of the songs and excerpts of dialog will appear throughout the book [as will spin-offs: games, puzzles, etc. based on the musical.] Planned musical numbers include: “Oh, What a Beautiful Doctrine,” “People Who Use People,” “You Probably Think this World is about You,” “I’d Like to Fill the World with Kids,” “Ain’t We Got Guns,” and “Let’s Call the Whole Vote Off.”

The Dog in the Manger

A Dog looking out for its afternoon nap jumped into the Manger of an Ox and lay there cozily upon the straw. But soon the Ox, returning from a day’s hard work, came up to the Manger and wanted to eat some of the straw. The Dog in a rage, being awakened from its slumber, stood up and barked at the Ox, and whenever it came near attempted to bite it. At last the Ox gave up and went away, and the dog went back to sleep. Moral: Aggression wins possession.

The Fox and the Grapes

One hot summer's day a Fox was strolling through an orchard till he came to a bunch of Grapes just ripening on a vine which had been trained over a lofty branch. "Just the thing to quench my thirst," quoth he. Drawing back a few paces, he took a run and a jump, and just missed the bunch. Turning round again with a One, Two, Three, he jumped up, but with no greater success. Again and again he tried after the tempting morsel, but at last had to give it up, and walked away with a snarl, saying: "I’ll teach him to put something I want out of reach." The fox brought a suit against the owner, arguing that his not being able to reach the fruit was substantially limiting compared to an average person in the general population. He won the case. The owner of the orchard was ordered to cut down the trees and train the vines to a height that the fox could reach. He went out of business. Moral: You can use “fairness” laws to demand an unfair outcome.

The Lion’s Share

A University Town sent out word to the planners of all the neighboring towns in the county, saying that it had decided on best way to unify the county and distribute the burdens and benefits among its peoples. All the planners hurried to the conference. The University Town spoke forcefully: “These are complicated and difficult questions, and I am more knowledgeable than any of you. You should give me the authority to write the comprehensive plans for all of your towns.” The visiting planners, flattered at the offer [and happy to be relieved of the work] returned home and convinced the others it was in their best interest to do this. Then the University Town called another conference and revealed their Plan for sharing the benefits: “One part is for me in my capacity as the University Town that Defines the County; the second is mine as the Acknowledged Leader Who Writes the Plans; another share comes to me through my Redistricting of the County Legislature, and the last share, well, as for that, which of you dares risk their career by opposing Me?” "Humph," grumbled one planner, walking away with his tail between his legs, and thinking of what excuses he could make, "You may share the burdens of the great, but you will not share the benefits."

Ka•Put – a nerve-racking game of mining

Kap•Put gets its name from the word “kaput,” meaning “utterly finished” or “destroyed.” Players compete to mine as much salt as possible from under the lake without creating a catastrophic breach in the lakebed. The players insert all the sticks into the game tube and then place all the community’s marbles on top of them. One by one every player points the connecting tunnel towards their mine and removes a stick hoping that all the marbles stay on the top. Every marble that falls through displaces water along the tunnel and into the player’s mine – When their mine is filled, that player is out of the game, and must move to another community . . . whoever has the least disastrous flooding at the end of the game is the winner.

Artificial Intelligence Sing-a-long

Why is Artificial Intelligence so scary? Because it works so completely to the advantage of those who have the most money and power . . . and want more. While Artificial Intelligence may be problematical in the workplace, it’s the perfect vehicle for oppression and control. Many of the people who hold at-risk “low-level” jobs face challenges and conditions on a daily basis that lie far beyond the statistical-averaging tools of AI’s apologists. There are real world reasons why “upskilling” is not a possible option. You might as well tell a dishwasher who is “AI’ed” out of a job to get one as a school superintendent or a stockbroker, and then then claim it’s their fault for not following your advice. We’re living in the days of such fatuous expertise. More importantly, even though “AI Erosion” is already underway, there are no “upskilling” programs available for these workers, or being planned.

Family Farm Fun

Working Title: Family Farm Fun

This Book Is In Development

Family Farm Fun

Humor & Entertainment

This book has already been published (see below.) Due to the pictorial nature of this book, these Book Bubbles cannot be extracted from the epub file format needed to upload an existing book.

Rough-Cut Book Bubbles from Family Farm Fun

“Pandemic Sing-a-long”

This sing-a-long from the book was posted before, but now might be a good time to post it again — it’s something to sing while you watch the news or purchase pandemic palliatives in the stores.

Hatch and Release (Text)

With the public outcry over the industrial farming practice of dumping live male chicks into a grinder, the Poultry Public Perception Panel is promoting the "Hatch and Release" method as a more humane solution. A cushion of air wafts the chicks up the pipe to the release point, where they are free to go wherever they wish. To avoid waste, those that fall to the receiving area below are respectfully collected and put into a grinder.

The Voluntary Guidelines Coloring Book

A coloring book with an industrial farming twist — 50 scenes of natural beauty you can color however you want. Don't worry about staying within the guidelines, they're only voluntary.

The Factory Farm Poop-up Book

Teach your child toilet cleanliness with this washable vinyl book of factory farm "poop-up" scenes. Each scene portrays a different potty training cleanliness issue with admonitions in large print such as: Antibiotic-resistant bacteria lagoon — "Wash hands" and Manure spill — "Wipe yourself" The book's colorful graphics explain both industrial farming and potty training in child-friendly terms. The "poop-ups" are fun and some are plain hilarious!

The Nutrient Plan Joke Book

One good joke deserves another, and agricultural nutrient plans are about as useful "as a screen door in a submarine." Try out some of these nutrient plan jokes at your next barbecue [when the wind changes]: Q: "How many nutrient plans does it take to screw in a light bulb?" A: "Forget it, they're useless." Q: "What's brown and aqua and smells like bleach in a toilet?" A: "A nutrient spill in your swimming pool." Q: "What did the nutrient plan say to the impaired lake?" A: "It's only a plan." Q: "Why is a nutrient plan like a politician?" A: "They both make promises they know they won't fulfill." Nutrient Plans are the only solution for agricultural pollution that factory farmers and politicians offer to the rural community. This 35 page book overflowing with derisive humor shows how much respect the rural community has for them.

The Child's Water Testing Picture Book

Kids: Your parents trust their well water because it's been pure and healthy for generations, but times have changed. Help keep your family safe with The Child's Water Testing Picture Book. Follow the simple instructions and diagrams to collect your well water samples, then bring them to a laboratory for testing. It's best to test weekly, or even daily during the Spill Season. Remember the Law: "Home owners with their own wells are solely responsible for the quality and safety of their water." So if you die, it's your fault. With frequent enough testing, it's comforting to know that your family will probably, in most cases, be OK.

The Ag Almanac

"What's the record for herbicide drift on a windy day?" and "How far can a toxic gas plume travel?" The Ag Almanac answers these and many other agricultural questions in a refreshingly straightforward way. The statistics section includes such items as a year-by-year government subsidy flow-meter, and a size comparison of the Dead Zone to various states. And the Almanac's long-term weather predictions are based, not on global warming trends, or climate change scenarios, but on a simple-to-understand mix of government influence and career longevity. This book is an indispensable source for measuring our lack of stewardship.

Where's the Inspector?

Children under seven can have hours of fun trying to find the Inspector in a variety of factory farm settings — animal mortality dumps, slurry runs, medical waste piles, spoilage trailers, manure pits, the owner's suite, and more. Every page has a different setting, but only one has the Inspector. . .can you find her?

A+ for Asthma (a nurse's heartwarming story)

Young Jason B. would come to the nurse's office every morning with severe asthma symptoms — even though he taped up the windows and door to his bedroom at night. See his struggle through a nurse's eyes, as she fights to help him escape an Ag Ghetto of fish kills, fumes, and factory farms. Share their triumph as he graduates with honors and wins a scholarship to a college in the state capitol, where factory farm "nutrients" are banned as "toxic waste."

Factory Farm Origami Book

From Blow flies to Bureaucrats, factory farms represent an "invasive species" subsector that is overturning the ecological balance of rural America. Tradition meets perdition in this book, as a "harmful farm-full" of villains are transformed into Japanese art. "Money-driven policy making and corruption have always been with us, but the Factory Farm Origami Book provides some new folds on an old wrinkle," joked Dr. E. Steward, just hours before his tragic accident.

Ag Slang Flash Cards

"Ag up" your water cooler chat with this informative flash card set. Did you know that "100 Year Storms" occur several times each year? Or that a "Family Farm" is a multi-national corporation where the majority of stock is owned by one family? Just follow the instructions, and in a matter of days you'll be understanding what the "rich people" mean when they say: "I'll get the hog farm expansion approval before the next 100year storm." and "If the governor can't push back those regulations for our family farms, he won't be in office come next election." Even if you're a party of the third part, liven up your party with authentic Ag Slang Flash Cards

Make Mine Pink Slime

An author's argument for acceptance of the new paradigm. "After years of being limited to 'old school' organic products, thanks to the USDA's leadership, consumers are now able to choose from a wide range of agricultural offerings, all with the trusted 'organic' label. Industrial farming has done an incredible job of expanding the organic market, and I'm proud they picked me to write this book!" —AW, Cooperative Extension Agricultural Writer

Bobble Head Bureaucrats

This book is the recognized authority on those cult collectible "authorities." Price guides for plastic, ceramic and stamped metal bobble heads. Page after page of die-cut "punch and paste" multi-cultural paper-pushers, nodding approval at all levels of government. Printed diagrams and instructions to create your own "paper-works." Add to this an annotated history of factory farm bureaucracy, with a giant 3,500page appendix of equivocations and runarounds, and you have a book that's as hard to pick up as it is to put down.

The Factory Farm Songbook

Words and music from Spillboard's Top 100 Industrial Farming Songs of All Time — featuring: "Killing Me Softly With His Shit," "Spray-drops Keep Fallin' on My Head," "Hey Rube," "Imagine No More CAFOs," "As Slime Goes By," "Ruined River," "Another Well Bites The Dust," "I Want To Own Your Land," "You Blight Up My Life," "Don't Step on My Blue Baby's Shoes," and 90 more classic dystopian farming tunes.

Regulator Sing-a-long – tune of Eire Canal

I’ve got a friend, he’s a regulator pal Fifteen years is his rationale He wants to retire and I think he shall Fifteen years is the rationale If he makes trouble he won’t last a day No more perks or government pay And every permit pushing pimp I know From Albany to Buffalo Chorus: Down low, everybody down Down low, there’s an honest man in town And you'll always get a favor And you'll always know your pal Cause a quid pro quo’s the only bureaucratic rationale There’s my friend Al, today we’re sure in luck Fifteen years is his rationale And when in Rome, all Romans take a buck Fifteen years is the rationale One more tip and back we'll go A fistful of permits to spread and grow And every permit pushing pimp I know From Albany to Buffalo Chorus: Down low, everybody down Down low, there’s an honest man in town And you'll always get a favor And you'll always know your pal Cause a quid pro quo’s the only bureaucratic rationale

Pandemic Sing-a-long – tune of This Old Man

This big farm, had a plan Grabbing everything they can With an Ag-Gag bag of swag Factory Farming wins This is how it all begins This big farm, had swine flu Now the neighbors have it too With an Ag-Gag bag of swag Nuisance Laws will rule Empty desks inside your school This big farm, stuffed with cows More than rational thought allows All the drugs the law allows With an Ag-Gag bag of swag Resistome lagoon We’ll all be in deep shit soon This big farm, filled with hens Live their lives in foot-square pens With an Ag-Gag bag of swag Breeding something new Reassorting HP flu This big farm, they have clout More than all the poor without With an Ag-Gag bag of swag “Leave those farms alone!” Two dead sisters in your home This big farm, they don’t care Spreading virus in the air With an Ag-Gag bag of swag Body bags are filled Burn the piles of all those killed This big farm, made that germ Greed and power never learn With an Ag-Gag bag of swag Politicians lie It’s too late, we’re gonna die This big farm, they did well Profits in a year from Hell With an Ag-Gag bag of swag Flowers for your friends This is how the story ends

Agri-mandias [Poem]

Unlike the original poem, the barren waste in this poem is not the eraser of hubris, but the result of it. Industrial agriculture would no more dare to openly debate their methods, than they would allow a rigorous accounting of the true costs of the “cheap” goods they produce. They are not only killing the natural world and depleting our natural resources, they are covering up the true reason for their “improved” methods and materials — they are losing the ability to sustain food production — and are now locked in a disastrous death-grip with a sickened planet.

Phosphorus Loading Puzzle

Now that the pieces are all put together, will a true picture of the nutrient pollution in our lake be announced to the public? Not if the agricultural lobby can help it. HABs – if corporate agribusinesses can focus the public’s attention on something new, then maybe the public will forget about the decades of unchecked and unregulated agricultural runoff that has already impaired lake waters and choked the shallows with algae and aquatic weeds. Promoting HABs gives them a chance to reset the clock and start doing nothing all over again. The NYSDEC HABs Program Guide proclaims that they are “implementing planned actions that can control impacts from nonpoint sources” and reduce the phosphorus loading of Cayuga Lake Further reading shows that their plan is to target and regulate septic systems (1%), and rely on voluntary guidelines and education reduce Agriculture’s (82%) impact. This plan is just a repackaging of the same worthless policies that have facilitated the increase of agricultural pollution for more than thirty years. The NYSDEC HABs reports [some of which are 125 pages in length] contain so many equivocations, distortions, misrepresentations, and complications that the reader is left with the impression of an insoluble problem, bravely faced and fought. Implementing regulations to stop agricultural pollution is never mentioned, even as a possibility.

EASY MAZE – GMO Maze

Do the protocols surrounding the introduction of Genetically Modified Organisms guarantee our safety? Of course not. They only guarantee the “hold harmless” status of the corporations and the scientists that produce them. And while their failures might be unfortunate for the public, they would result in new career opportunities for the scientific community — studying the effects of the problems they’ve created.

Pin the Tail on the Legislators

This game is a great stress reliever for any rural get together. When your own representatives refuse to represent you, you’re cut off from government in an especially insulting way. Just mentioning this game’s name brings a smile to the faces of rural residents [and a few choice comments.] When you live close to the bone in a rural home, disrespecting those in a position of trust may be your only option to express outrage at their betrayal. Kiss MY Ass! Lickspittle Legislator!

Spread It!

This card game is a version of the classic Pyramid solitaire. It was fun making up the cards for the Factory Farm deck picture. The four suits are Farmers, Cash, Discharge Pipes, and DEC, and all the face cards have the features of “Mr. Factory Farm” [introduced in You Know You Live near a Factory Farm When Your Kids Go Fishing with a Pool Skimmer.] A number of the games, puzzles, etc. that were planned, were never included in this book. Using Photoshop CS5 for all the art and page layouts is time consuming and I needed to end this book project. In a future posting, I will describe some of the pages that were left unfinished when the 100 page goal was reached.

Pass the Buck

Another children’s party game with an industrial farming twist. Agricultural colleges, agribusinesses, and politicians are so tight together that there’s no room for criticism, but there’s always room for profit. Money is not the only kind of payment — sometimes it’s just career longevity, public recognition, or a coveted post.

How Politicians Do Math

Of course it’s simplistic, I didn’t even factor in the corruption. The important point is that politicians and the agribusiness lobby don’t expect you to add up the true costs of industrial agriculture. Just as they’ve drained the aquifers and deprived future generations of water, industrial farming has run up huge debts that they don’t intend to pay. And their political cronies have tricked us into co-signing the loan, so we’re stuck making all the payments. [You’ve probably seen that in those court shows, and wondered how stupid those people were.] If these agribusinesses are such an economic asset, why can’t they pay off their own debts, and clean up their own messes? The rural poor have to, why shouldn’t the rural rich?

A Child’s Poem

I tried to write this poem from a child’s point of view — one of seeing, but not understanding — of having knowledge of what they should do, but not the context that impels it. Even their parents only have a knowledge of what is readily apparent to the senses, and none of the underlying causes and long term effects. Authorities never inform rural residents of the dangers that modern farming methods presents to their families. And they never do anything to help. Whether it’s against the law or injurious to health is unimportant, they just refuse to do it.

rBGH - No rBGH Maze

A not-so-simple maze for a not-so-simple question: How you decide on the risks of rBGH versus No rBGH without deciding on the quality of the information you receive to make that decision? When an early paper arguing strongly for the benefits and safety of rBGH milk was distributed by the manufacturer, and came into question for not being peer reviewed and for being riddled with inaccurate and misleading claims, one of its authors responded, “It’s only a scientific paper.” One way to decide is to answer another question: Is it OK to feed your family food if it has not yet been proven unsafe – or – it’s Not OK to feed your family food until it has been proven safe? It’s only your health.

Flood Plain Hog Farm Coloring Page

Asbestos companies? Out of business. Rust Belt workers? Unemployed. Factory Farmers? Welcome to Hog Heaven. With flooding from “100 year storms” occurring several times a year, large scale pollution from giant hog manure lagoons is destroying the environment, polluting rural wells, and spreading. But, unlike other industries, they can’t be shut down. They need to be bought out, with taxpayer’s money. Industrial hog farms profit from polluting, and then they profit from selling — and guess who pays for the cleanup?

Hog Farm Sing-a-long

There just had to be a Hog Farm Sing-a-long in the book. Nothing connects the bucolic rural past to the future’s industrial farming dystopia better than the hog. When the tide finally turned in the last century, and factories became accountable for some the destruction they caused, that greed went underground, and popped up as Agriculture, complete with all the arrogance toward the community and the environment that they displayed as factory towns and coal mines. But now they had learned the power of public perception and a wholesome image There was also a new sense of power. As the agriculture industrialists know: If you don’t have a new car you cry, if you don’t have food you die. Agriculture is an industry that is exempt from meaningful regulation in this country, and it’s located in areas that are kept free of urban reporting. Follow this thread and you’ll realize that it’s like a living portrayal of the saying “give them enough rope and they’ll hang themselves” — and us along with them

Original Cover #3

The third cover artwork and new Farm Harm book title were very different from my original Factory Farm Fun concept, but I thought I had hit the bullseye. The publisher suggested changing the title to Family Farm Fun, allowing them to provide the cover artwork, and writing a new preface. This is the book that’s available today. I still have a box of the old books with the original cover, and I’m still not sure . . .

Original Covers 1 & 2

At the top is the cover artwork that I planned to use with the book. The original title was Factory Farm Fun Book. The publisher did not think it would market properly, so I created the revised cover artwork you see below. [This did not go over very well, and they thought the title was no help either.] There is always a problem as an author and an artist as to whether your vision is someone else’s vision — how well do you communicate your story? I made a third version so that we would be on the same page . . .

Cracking the Ag Code

When there is no avoiding the issue, industrial agriculture hides its guilt by camouflaging it — with a little help from their friends. This piece shows one way agribusinesses [that are responsible for more than four times the nutrient pollution as every other source combined] are being reduced to just another source in a list by people that the public trusts to inform. The Iowa Farm Bureau answers their own question: “Where do the increased nutrient levels come from?” by squeezing Agriculture in between Fertilizers from Golf Courses and Lawn Treatment. In light of this answer, it may be ironic [or informative] to learn that Agriculture produces 90% of the state’s nutrient runoff, and that in 2018, after 5 years of voluntary agricultural programs, their runoff had actually increased.

How many violations can you spot?

Ag-gag laws and physical obstructions are only two of the barriers that are used to protect industrial farming methods — farming promotion messages, food corporation ads, land grant colleges, politicians, bureaucrats, and media handouts, all take their turn in persuading the American people that agricultural pollution and animal mistreatment is accidental, rare, unforeseen, blown out of proportion, misunderstood, naturally occurring, and misreported for profit, thereby minimizing and deflecting any possible image of wrongdoing. How many people look past that?

Fish Skimming

It’s a sociologically interesting phenomena that as industrial farming has dramatically changed the environment that our rural population lives in, their pastimes have also changed. With the “old swimming hole” posted because of agricultural waste and runoff, rural children have not only learned to make do, but to make don’t. Fish Skimming has replaced traditional activities in rivers and ponds with what has become an Ag-ghetto classic. In today’s factory farm landscape, where you can catch more fish with a pool skimmer than a pole, it’s “better than trolling a landfill for body parts.”

Ecosystem Tug-of-War

This children’s game is a powerful teaching tool on the topic of agricultural pollution. Using milk crates to stand on better represents the dangers of manure spills and overflowing hog lagoons — not a gradual slide but a dramatic drop-off into the widespread destruction of an ecosystem. After the game, students can study some of the biggest agricultural catastrophes of the past decades, and what is not being done to prevent a repetition. With one player representing agricultural expansion and the other representing agricultural profits, no matter who wins the game this time, our country will be the loser.

Follow the Regulator

Regulators can put a lot of faces on the same refusal to act. Industrial farms are permitted to whatever is profitable, and their failures to follow regulations and their continued polluting activities are minimized and excused. Rural residents are treated as enemies, with their every fact discounted and their victimization ignored. In the face of overwhelming evidence, regulators still refuse to regulate these farms and fall back on the same kind of voluntary guidelines that have proven worthless for decades. It’s a puppet show that makes for damn poor stewardship, but a good line dance.

Origami Hog

To a factory farmer, hogs represent “folding money,” so what better way to represent a hog that by folding paper. While hogs lack the cognitive ability to follow the diagrams, you should have no trouble, but if nobody’s looking over your shoulder, just throw away the mistakes until you get one that’s perfect to display. The hog-face patterned paper gives it a decorative touch for your desk top. Warning: Don’t get caught with an origami hog in each hand making sounds and doing hog things.

Fish Kill Crunch

What’s the last thing you would think of doing when you come upon a water body choked with stinking, rotting fish? Scoop up a double handful and “chow down.” The Fish Kill Crunch children’s party game sanitizes this vision by substituting cookies. Children can gobble up the cookies to clean their stretch of the river and win, but it’s never gone for good — they’ll make more. Should you show photos of fish kills before or after the game? That’s up to you. Maybe just putting a rotting fish in the Feely Bag, and leaving it to their imagination is more than enough.

Cash Cow Piñata

Industrial farming is known, but not widely known, for its ability to externalize its costs. For example: School Tax Credits allow farmers to pay the taxes needed to placate a powerful teachers union, and in return are paid 50-100% of that back from additional taxes levied on an unknowing public. The next time you are told how important industrial farming is economically, ask yourself: How can promoting an industrial model that requires subsidies and tax breaks at every point to remain viable benefit us economically? It’s not just the money: Modern industrial farming methods are draining aquifers of increasingly valuable fresh water [that took tens of thousands of years to fill] to produce the agricultural products it sells to foreign countries for chump change. As we ship out our country’s valuable natural resources of fertile land and clean fresh water in the form of agricultural products, what do we receive for our children in return? Just the rich getting richer.

Rural Destruction Bingo

Classic bingo gets an industrial farming makeover 70 factory farm “icons” and cards for eight players. You’ve never been so happy hear someone call “Persistent cough” or “Reduced life expectancy.” Win at bingo and lose at life with Rural Destruction Bingo.

Anonymous Ag Survey

This sort-of-satirical survey explores the reality behind those beautiful, saturated images of crops, livestock, and farming families that are the staple of commercials and Ag promo spots, and asks the question: In an Ag-Gag industry that judges a disclosure of factory farm activities as “bio-terrorism” and a jailable offence — How forthcoming are agricultural sources? Assuming that an anonymous survey would elicit a candid response, what questions would you ask?

Color Me H-A-B

Color me camouflaged. The NYSDEC led committee on Harmful Agal Blooms claims that since they found a waterbody with agal blooms where agriculture was not the primary source of phosphorous loading, then they can’t conclude that agriculture is a primary cause. That’s like saying: since there’s a patient whose lung cancer was not caused by tobacco use, then you can’t claim that tobacco use is a primary cause of lung cancer. You already know what the recommendations to reduce agricultural nutrient pollution will be — voluntary guidelines, education, nutrient plans = business as usual. [They’ll save the regulatory crackdown for residential septic systems.]

Farm Harm Coloring Page – Blue Babies

Since all land grant agricultural colleges seem to send the same message, I’ll quote from the PennStateExtension article “Nitrates in Drinking Water”: After throwing dust about the sources and severity of the methemoglobinemia or “blue-baby syndrome” problem, the article outlines possible types of remediation: “With agricultural nitrate leaching, often you may have no control of the nitrate source.” While banned from any access to municipal water, rural families have no protection under the law for their only source of drinking water — their wells. Here are PSU’s well water treatment solutions: “ion exchange can be expensive and requires maintenance” “Reverse osmosis is expensive. Added to the equipment costs are the high energy costs for operation.” “Distillation uses much energy and produces heat which taxes air conditioners in the summer months. Energy costs are about 30 cents per gallon produced.” Since bottled water is also very expensive, PSU recommends that mixing it with the polluted well water to make it less toxic to drink will save money. However they admit that “blended water still may not be safe for infants.” PSU ends their article by stating: “Though nitrates concern many Pennsylvania residents, proper testing will confirm the problem and adequate treatment will eliminate it.” How’s that for a slap in the face of poor rural families.

Ag Uncertainly Principle

Whether it’s used as a coloring page, an aphorism, or a pattern, this rural sampler puts the science back into social science. It’s not just a motto to live by, it’s the motto we are living by — in no uncertain terms.

Misfortune Teller

Copy and cutout the design in the book, and fold as shown, and this traditional children’s origami can reveal your fortune — or for those in the Ag ghetto, misfortune. The only thing unluckier than seeing a factory farm, is seeing one from your bedroom window, and since you can’t make a silk purse from a hog lagoon, forget the “tall dark man” stuff and get ready for some old school company town depression. Get together with a couple of friends and have some fun hearing what the Misfortune Teller says about your future. It’s not that it isn’t real, it’s just that it isn’t real likely you live there.

Easy Maze – Manure Spill

Doing the right thing is always simple, it’s making excuses for not doing it that’s complicated. We have had decades of Voluntary Guidelines and Nutrient Plans, TMDLs and Target Dates, Soil and Water Conservation Committees and Regional Task Forces, and every do-nothing dog and pony show bureaucratic folderol they could hold a press conference on . . . and none of them have proven good for anything except to push regulatory solutions into the future while agribusinesses continue polluting and maximizing profits. Solving this maze is as simple as finding a solution to nutrient pollution. If you want to end the pollution, stop the polluting.

Factory Farmer Aptitude Test

Serious and satirical, this aptitude test is intended to challenge participants to think about how much what they enjoy doing has a part in what they will become. In a time where a victim’s fault paradigm of “the wrong place at the wrong time” and “a _______ gone wrong” is used to patch the holes in our society, and “closure” is a term best fitted to bureaucratic files, an aptitude test still maintains the link between actions and the people who perform them.

Farm Harm Coloring Page – Agal Bloom Warning

These signs are becoming increasingly common around waterbodies with agricultural runoff — as it’s more politically expedient to restrict the usage, rather than the polluters. As one local politician said, “Farming is as important as any lake.” [And it makes bigger campaign contributions too.] Tell your kids to use the red crayon. Red for danger.

Sustainable Truth Billboards

Unfortunately, industry handouts are the only basis for almost all the agricultural “reporting” done by media outlets in this country. The agricultural lobby is probably the most powerful lobby in America, comprised of not only multi-national food giants, but also some of the world’s biggest pharmaceutical and chemical corporations. With the kind of power that caused Obama do a 180 on his pledge of agricultural regulations, and the political unimportance of the rural poor, it’s not surprising that theirs is the only voice most people ever hear. I thought of making these billboards with graffiti, but how much more satisfying it would be to see them being forthright for a change.

Farm Harm Coloring Page – Liquid Manure Pit

A graphic reminder of the many dangerous substances, gases, and pathogens associated with liquid manure. Not only is liquid manure spread over millions of acres of land where it seeps into the soil and groundwater, and runs off into our streams, rivers and lakes — it’s an all-pervasive part of the rural environment. Factory farmers like to pretend that liquid manure is just manure, but do a search on some of these components and you’ll realize why there are no long term studies on the health of factory farm neighbors.

Child Safety Tips — Respirators 101

This two-page spread on respirators is entirely factual and its recommendations are no more than prudent. The only thing over the top is the effort being made to deny it. I have documentation showing that those who have been entrusted with the welfare of the public at large are allowing injury to rural residents by permitting agricultural activities without oversight or enforcement of regulations, and are deliberately withholding disclosure of the special risks and restrictions incurred by prospective buyers of property in an Agricultural District. This documentation will be included in my next book: Cornithaca County.

Rural Sorrow Hopscotch

Traditional hopscotch rules and layouts are overlaid with a pattern of sorrow for the death and destruction of rural families and communities. Hopscotch is a game that can be played by the poor, without any sports equipment, playing fields, or car pools. And since this is a game for and by children, it avoids the “killer instinct” so prized by the rich and ambitious, and so familiar to the rural poor of our country.

CAFO Sing-a-long

Unlike the “100 Bottles of Beer” it’s based on, this sing-a-long recounts an ever-increasing number of Genetically Modified milk cows in an ever-expanding [and increasingly profitable] factory farm. Long before they get to “nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety GMO Cows” you’ll be screaming “This is my stop!” And since industrial farming externalizes so many of their costs with government subsidies and tax credits, you really don’t want to know how much you are actually paying for a gallon of their genetically modified milk.

Mortality Maze

This two-page maze uses an obstacle course of composting cows. The industrial farming practice of confining cow in sheds, continuous feeding them antibiotics, hormones, and anything else that lowers corporate maintenance and boosts milk production reduces their “natural” lifespan from 17 years to 5 years – and with factory farms stuffing their sheds with up to 30,000 cows per farm, they produce a lot of carcasses. The modern cost-cutting way is to dump them in piles and call it “composting.” But, with only the outside of mounds and the seepage visible, who knows what’s really inside. Maybe there could be a horror movie where some GMO carcasses are transformed into monsters – zombie cows? Moojo? Cows on the Plane?

Denial

This poem was a lot of fun to write. The rhythm is meant to be read or spoken with an increasing beat, like a motor starting slowly and picking up speed. The vehemence should increase with the speed to almost a froth — until collapsing in the final line. A political tradition of attack and no facts. A fitting bookend.

The Industrial Agriculture Anthem

Industrial farmers call on farming traditions, closeness to Nature, and their contributions to the health and well-being of society in creating their updated “mid-century” image. And yet their sensitivity to any negative comment or environmentally protective regulation shows that this construction is paper thin. It’s only a step to burst through the screen and see the reality this anthem embodies.

Connect the Dots – The Dead Zone

You need to follow both the letters and the numbers to complete this page. After you connect the dots in the book, hold the page up to a window and a chilling picture is revealed. I had more ambitious [and more complicated] ideas, but had to scrap them due to the time they would have required. Any pages that were started and could not be completed in a timely fashion were dropped. Limiting the scope of this project to black & white, at least a page a day, and 100 pages, actually increased my comfort zone and kept my destination in view.

Escape from the Factory Farm

This simple board game requires no strategy or complex rules, so it’s easy for small children to play. If dice are not available, a spinner can be made using the supplied artwork. The escape theme and factory farm hazards provide the right amount of thrill for the imagination of younger children.

Factory Farm Bookshelf – Family Fun Classics

I just couldn’t get all my favorite book ideas into two pages, so I added a third. While many of the ideas that were roughed out were never realized in Family Farm Fun, I planned a 100 page cut-off and kept pretty close. For my next book, Cornithaca County, I already have almost 400 idea folders, so there’ll be plenty left over to fill the Bookshelf pages [and for other uses.]

Factory Farm Bookshelf 2 - New and popular

This is the facing page to the previous Factory Farm Bookshelf page posted. It presents more ideas for books that I would like to have had the time to write. The Ag Almanac in particular is a book that could cut industrial agriculture deeper than deep plowing cut the prairie.

Lonely as a Cloud (long after Wordsworth)

I don’t know what to call the use that I made of this famous poem. It wasn’t recycled because so much of the original structure remains. It wasn’t repurposed because love of nature is at the core of both. Probably “redecorated” would be a better description: Twisting the strands of reverie to make a net that captures the darker side our false stewardship. In these days of acceptable pollution and understandable destruction of the natural world, no amount of academic assurances can ameliorate the pain of seeing what is being done.

A Rich Factory Farmer Named Fred . . .

It was a pleasure to write these limericks. I use the verbal structuring of limericks and other short poems to “cleanse my pallet” between sessions of non-verbal artwork. They also give me the opportunity to make observations about the situations that people find themselves in and how they behave. I have published two books of poetry: “As a Poet, I have a Confession” – a small selection of light and dark pieces, and “Please Take Care when You Utter a Curse” – 100 limericks. Both these books can be downloaded for free at a number of online outlets, including Smashwords.com. “An activity book from Nantucket . . .”

Regulator Sing-a-long

It may be Election-day, but un-elected officials can wield great power and have little public accountability. Regulators can weather political storms and still succumb to the strong undercurrents of a bureaucratic sea. What is corruption and what is quid pro quo? It may just be a question of survival.

EASY MAZE – Herbicide Drift Maze

Another easy-to-solve maze and coloring page for younger children. And another chance to make a rhythm and rhyme couplet for me. You rarely can see a herbicide drift, but I can attest that you’ll know when you’ve been in one.

Stopping by Woods on a Snow Melt Evening

I have always felt this poem to be so on target that I pinned a doodle on it and let fly with an arrow of my own. Today’s industrial agriculture has championed the concept of acceptable amounts of pollution and used “naturally occurring” as a smoke screen to misrepresent the real dangers of their actions. One agricultural college professor I spoke with recently took the position that the sickness and death of rural families is a small and necessary price to ensure that industrial farming has ability to feed the hungry around the world. His ivory tower must have a dungeon.

Huit Mille Miles Carrés [8,000 Square Miles]

The phrase “8,000 square miles” refers to the size of the “Dead Zone” of hypoxic waters in the Gulf of Mexico that is created by nutrient pollution. You are one of up to 3 players attempting to pollute a specific square mileage while dealing with regulatory hazards you encounter along the way. There are 106 cards, including hazards, a variety of Dead Zone areas, remedies, and four immunity cards. To curb runoff and reduce nutrient pollution flowing into the Mississippi River, Iowa introduced a voluntary Nutrient Reduction Strategy for agriculture. In 2018, after 5 years of this program, nutrient runoff had actually increased. Agriculture produces 90% of Iowa’s nitrogen runoff. Other states are introducing similar voluntary programs. The book includes complete instructions, and copy-able scoring pads and cards [including a card back design.]

Floaters

Every fish kill has a story, but you never hear the fish’s side of it — now, as they break the plane, and move on to another plane of existence, you are there! I still don’t know why I made this page, but I still like it.

The New Food Pyramid

Turning Big Ag’s omnipresent public image upside down reveals a reality you won’t read about in any newspaper.

Farm Worker Mortality Disposal

Closely modeled on agricultural guidelines for cheaply disposing of animal carcasses, this instructional handout gives a nod to both corporate farming attitudes, and the unreported deaths of those who work on them.

Factory Farm Days

This page is from a spread describing the fun activities that can be brought to your town when you host an industrial farming festival. There’s no better way to educate your kids about everyday life in today’s Ag Ghetto.

Farm-cheesi – The “Game of Flies”

The Farm-cheesi pages in the book include the game rules, maggot tokens, and a board in four parts that can be copied and assembled as shown. The object is to move your maggots on a life journey from the carcass to become an egg-laying adult. If using real maggots for tokens, they should be frozen and then colored with markers or dipped in food coloring to represent the different players. The use of live maggots is not recommended as they may move to another space illegally. WARNING: Microwaving maggots can cause them to explode.

New School Nursery Rhymes

Many nursery rhymes are known for containing a darker message below the surface — with these industrial farming rhymes, the poison has spilled into plain view. Which way would you choose to handle it?

Fixing the Environment

More difficult than the “Easy Maze” puzzles, this bureaucratic maze mirrors the real life frustration of activists who struggle just to reach the “hearing” stage — knowing that behind closed doors the decision is all power and politics. It’s as frustrating as an old Dos game that locks up every time you hit the Boss level.

Factory Farm Bookshelf - New and popular

This booklist gave me a chance to use some of the ideas that were outlined, but never fully developed. I enjoyed creating the “Spillboard’s Top 100” song titles the most, especially “Don’t Step on My Blue Baby’s Shoes” — I can almost hear the lyrics.

Writer's Choice

Writing this page of book/author jokes brought back memories of high-humor in grade school. Humor has the ability to leap the wall of obfuscations and directly address the issue. It was very much a juggling act to keep the pieces in the air until a book title and author’s name finally came together.

Farm Harm Poster - Child Safety Tips

This poster is entirely truthful. For those of us who live in an "Ag Ghetto," there is no one to turn to for the protection of our families — and no government agency that is willing to speak out in our behalf.

Party Game - Factory Farm Feely Bag

I don't know whether it's better to touch what you can't see and guess, or touch what you can see and guess, but in this case it's best not to touch it at all. One in a series of Factory Farm Party games for kids.

How Many Gas Plumes?

I counted them several times to make sure they're correct. [I hope so. I was always having my papers marked with "careless" when I was in school, but now I tell people it's a learning disability.] The solution is in the back of the book.

Origami Fly

I always liked activity books as a kid. They were an inch thick and made of a slightly yellowish newsprint that you only see in some big art pads today. A large part of the fun was the variety of ways they provided to entertain yourself and your friends. That's something I have tried to bring to this book — there are even a number of games for your child's next Factory Farm Party!

Hatch and Release

OK, I know it's sick, but I had to put it in. [A lot of others didn't make it past the chuckle.]

Tongue Twisters

I thought the third one would be the hardest, but I've been told it's the easiest. Try them with a dry mouth.

EASY MAZE - Nitrate Pollution Maze

A young child should have no difficulty with this maze, but there are solutions for all the puzzles and mazes in the back of the book. This could also be used as an additional coloring page.

More GMO Corn Mazes

The industrial farming "maze" from a societal viewpoint.

Pandemic Sing-a-long

Both the World Health Organization and the CDC have grave concerns about industrial farming's misuse of antibiotics and the creation of antimicrobial resistant pathogens . . . why aren't we?

GMO Corn Mazes

View industrial farming from the inside of a corn maze, and all you see is the corn. But view it from a different perspective . . .

The Urban Dairy

Is the urban dairy a satirical poke at the "dump it in the country" agenda, or a practical proposal? Even as I was writing it, I couldn't decide.

Monster-Us

My cousins and I could never get enough television Creature Features and Saturday matinee monster movies. I had fun using the same "science and hubris" vernacular to create these snapshots of the monsters we are unleashing through our reliance on industrial farming methods.

You Know You Live near a Factory Farm When Your Kids Go Fishing with a Pool Skimmer

Working Title: You Know You Live near a Factory Farm When Your Kids Go Fishing with a Pool Skimmer

This Book Is In Development

You Know You Live near a Factory Farm When Your Kids Go Fishing with a Pool Skimmer

This book has already been published (see below.) Due to the pictorial nature of this book, these Book Bubbles cannot be extracted from the epub file format needed to upload an existing book.

Rough-Cut Book Bubbles from You Know You Live near a Factory Farm When Your Kids Go Fishing with a Pool Skimmer

Farmers and regulators are the same people

Concerns about conflict of interest and ethics have no place in the agricultural decision making process. Whenever issues of agricultural pollution go public, or large manure spills hit the headlines, the Soil and Water Conservation Committee becomes omnipresent, appearing at every conference and quoted in every article — but what is this committee? The name causes people to think that their commitment is to the protection of our natural resources, but this is not the case — their commitment is to the protection of agriculture’s image, and its interests. By New York State law, three out of the Committee’s five voting members have to be farm: One from the Farm Bureau, one from the Grange, and one Representative-At-Large for Farm Interests. And as an influential component of every task force responsible for cleaning up our lakes and waterways, they make sure that no goals are set, and no regulatory steps are taken that restrict the profitability of industrial farming in New York. You can’t judge a committee by its cover story.

When county employees won’t pick up the phone

They just don’t want to hear it. Voice mailboxes make it easy for government employees to avoid taking action on agricultural complaints — just “leave a message,” and wait for a callback . . . Or you could try another employee and leave a message, and wait for a callback . . . Then, if you decide call the clerk’s office, they put you through to a voice mailbox where you “leave a message,” and wait for a callback . . . [Do they really expect us to know our party’s extension?] Finally, when you get a callback, they say can’t do anything to help and pass you on to another department . . . with a voice mailbox . . . where you can “leave a message. . .”

. . . when you have to pressure wash your cat

Don’t do this at home! That being said, factory farm pollution seems to permeate everything in the neighborhood. The prevailing winds sweep up the valley past the fifteen years old CAFO next door, with it big metal cow sheds and multi-million gallon open cesspit, directly at my house. Anybody who says that liquid manure is just cow manure in a liquid form is lying. Not only is it filled with the hormones, antibiotics and antibiotic resistant bacteria that are a byproduct of factory farm methods, it’s fermented in giant open air pits for months, resulting in a number of deadly toxic gasses. These gasses have caused so many deaths, that farm workers are urged to wear gas masks when working around these pits. While the deadly gasses these pits generate, like Hydrogen Sulfide (H2S), can travel for miles without dissipating by an effect known a pluming, no admission of this, or long terms studies on the health of rural neighbors have ever been made.

When blowflies are the top of the food chain

Goodbye to red barns and cows in the pasture, when you live around an industrial farming dairy operation you see . . . an aberration. While any natural meadow would be filled with animals, birds, butterflies and insects, thousands of acres of factory farm fields seem empty of all life except genetically modified crops, herbicide modified weeds, antibiotic modified pathogens, and of course, blowflies. Rural America has moved from the natural world of farming to the unnatural world of industrial farming, and it’s fitting that all that’s left to survive and thrive is this age-old symbol of death and decay.

The lake has more warning signs than tourists

In New York State, as in many others, state and local government doesn’t attack the source of agricultural pollution, they attack the source of the complaint. If residents on and around the lakes are outraged at the situation, authorities gather “feedback,” and then exclude them from any further participation. If the people demand immediate action, authorities hold public meetings and seminars to explain how more data and studies [that will take years to perform and evaluate] are needed to get to the bottom of this complex situation. If residents complain that agricultural pollution is destroying their lake, authorities talk about how this kind of pollution is “natural occurring,” while carefully avoiding how much is unnaturally occurring. If the public has a clear perception of the role agricultural nutrient pollution in a lake’s impairment, authorities confuse the issue by substituting other culprits. New York bureaucrats are currently promoting zebra mussels in this way as a distraction. Mark Twain popularized the saying “There are three kinds of lies: lies, damn lies, and statistics.” — This is an excellent description of our government’s agricultural pollution cover up.

Your bug-zapper sounds like a popcorn machine

Q: Where do flies go in the winter? A: To your house [if you live near a factory farm.] While the illustration is evocative of summer months, blow flies have become a year-round pestilence in rural America. In northern states, even in the winter, when the wind is in the right direction, factory farms open their shed doors and exhaust an extra big helping of flies. When the snow flies, there are still blow flies for factory farm neighbors.

The pitter-patter on your roof isn’t rain

While the action pictured here is part of a growing reality in our rural communities, real estate disclosure forms refuse to inform prospective buyers of these agricultural methods, and the health risks and abrogated rights of property owners in an Agricultural District. When I wrote a letter urging authorities to “update the New York State Agricultural District Disclosure Form and Notice to ensure that prospective buyers understand the financial and health risks of living in an Agricultural District so that they are in a position to make an informed decision” none of those county and state representatives and health officials, even acknowledged receipt.

. . . when politicians and bureaucrats make e

Even though they admit that agriculture is responsible for more than four times the nutrient pollution in Cayuga Lake as all other sources combined, New York State regulators claim they don’t know what is causing the Lake’s impairment and algal blooms. When they’re not stonewalling agricultural pollution questions, local, county, and state agencies are making public statements fully as ridiculous as the one on this page.

. . . when politicians won’t kiss your blue b

Nothing highlights the destructive nature of industrial farming better than the effect it has had on our water. As the wells that are the only sources of water for the rural community are polluted through factory farm seepage and run off, politicians and bureaucrats claim that they can’t be tested because it would be a “violation” of the resident’s rights. It’s enough to make a cat laugh. The only two rights left to the rural community are the right to be poor, and the right to be a victim.

. . . when the morning mist is herbicide

I created this image to commemorate the time I was sprayed with Roundup while I was mowing my lawn. Later that night I stood in the middle of the bathroom completely out of it, vomiting all over myself, the floor and the toilet. Even though the wind was gusting to 23 mph and the application took place in a sensitive area with rural families living nearby on three sides, the NYSDEC refused to issue more than a warning. Why? Because they didn’t want to.

. . . when you dream of a new sitcom

Scary for Halloween: How old sitcom theme songs come back to haunt you. While the music is still playing in your head, imagine an industrial farming version of this classic TV show — Your mind will be overflowing with plot ideas like a hog lagoon in a hurricane.

. . . you're a long way from a country club

Industrial farmers are ever-vigilant in their efforts to keep a wholesome image. In the unreported media gulf between urban newspapers and “Ag ghetto” trailers, theirs is the only voice. And they never stop trash-talking the rural community. In an age that pretends to enlightened social justice, the “hillbilly,” “trailer trash,” “good-ole-boy” is a target that is fair game to all . . . because they’re “racist” and “ignorant” and “backwards” and “uneducated” and you really don’t know anything about them. They’re people who live independently with almost no money, and no representation at all. You won’t see them golfing at your country club, but you might meet a rich factory farm owner — telling “redneck” jokes.

. . . when manure comes out of the tap

You know you live near a factory farm, when manure comes out of the tap Whenever I read articles and handouts concerning industrial farming “accidents” [like the dozens of giant above-ground hog lagoons overflowing after Hurricane Florence] I check them against my 4-step agricultural cover up list: 1. Discredit the witnesses/complainants 2. Discredit the facts 3. Discredit the situation 4. Hide behind laws and regulations It’s particularly useful to look at comments from agricultural colleges and universities. These colleges frequently brag about their close industry ties, or “partnerships,” and receive much, if not most of their funding from industry sources. Land grant agricultural colleges are directly under the authority of the USDA, which in turn is under the political control of agricultural interests. Dismissive and obstructive statements are also issued by government departments — where playing ball is frequently the key to promotion and career longevity.

. . . everyone you know is getting cancer

Factory farms create a toxic environment that can dramatically raise the incidence of cancer in the nearby community. Airborne drifts of Roundup and other pesticides are common. The farming lobby claims it’s the rural “lifestyle” that is the cause. Is living near a factory farm a lifestyle?

. . . when the snow-melt is brown

Spreading and spraying liquid manure onto a snow-covered field just before a predicted rain or a thaw is a favorite way for industrial farmers to get rid of it. Run off from the frozen slopes quickly gathers at the lowest point — a stream or a pond, or a neighbor’s yard. If caught, they’ll only get a warning, so this has become a common practice around factory farms.

You Know You Live near a Factory Farm When Your Kids Go Fishing with a Pool Skimmer

Humor & Entertainment

In Rural America the biggest threat to the health and well-being of the community is the same activity that once strengthened and nurtured it — farming. Industrial farming is rolling the dice against a dystopian future of environmental meltdown, antibiotic-resistant pathogens, and genetically modified organisms in a race to quickly amass wealth. Using a simple picture-book style, and the buoyancy of humor, this book navigates the flood of destructive farming practices that have already engulfed the rural community, and are spreading.

Book Bubbles from You Know You Live near a Factory Farm When Your Kids Go Fishing with a Pool Skimmer

Family Farm Fun

Humor & Entertainment

Learn about the plight of industrial farming with this satirical social justice activity book with games, mazes, sing-a-longs, poems, coloring pages, stories, and more — all to do with industrial farming from a rural point of view. You’ll laugh through each page and ponder the underlying causes of our country’s dangerous factory farming habits. If you enjoyed documentaries like Super Size Me, What the Health? and Cowspiracy, then you’ll find Family Farm Fun an entertaining and enlightening add-on to the growing facts surrounding our food and the environment.

Book Bubbles from Family Farm Fun

Click Follow to receive emails when this author adds content on Bublish

We use cookies so you get the best experience on our website. By using our site, you are agreeing to our Cookie Policy. ACCEPT COOKIES