room or
baking miniature cakes in their Easy Bake oven with clutter all over the kitchen counters.
How could I ever recover from such a purposeful rejection by someone I already
deeply loved? Why could our relationship feel so utterly right for me and not for him? Ian
had decided to end our romance before it led to additional fatherhood. His decision not to
pick up the phone and speak with me was the best way to handle it.
For him.
Well, it would be another testing time for me. Would I go back to my destructive
behavior and find comfort in a tub of ice cream? No. I had learned how to handle my
insecurities and to find comfort through the inner Power of prayer and meditation.
I would continue to pray; only this time I would listen quietly for the reply. God
answered prayers, but in His own time and way, not mine. And if I were being honest,
164
what if what I was so sure I wanted wasn’t meant to be for an important reason?
The tears started anyway and would not stop. Yes, at the frightful thought of scrubbing
Ian from my life, my unshakeable faith faltered. It was still in its infancy, and I was still
struggling with the concept of selflessness. Like a child who wanted a cookie when
supper was only minutes away, I still wanted something representing “sweet love”
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