'Twas the night Father Christmas invaded the Galaxy,
Not a creature disputed the time travel fallacy.
Stockades were assembled by planets prepared,
So that all their world's goods would not soon be shared.
On Earth children settled with anticipation,
While the greater galaxy sought emancipation.
Military donned uniforms, the rest tipped a hat,
As everyone waited for a creature so fat.
An eruption of sound from Earth’s white North Pole,
Brought a red-suited human to every black hole.
Through celestial formations he rode with a sack,
While tensely I watched as I hid in the back.
In the dust I swore I could see the mad hatter,
But as Nick plugged ahead I saw only dark matter.
Away to the planets he flew like the Flash,
Tore holes in the atmospheres, burned things to ash.
The moon guard near planets were given the go,
And particles they seeded brought great heaps of snow.
Then Santa brought out his zap everything spear;
Civilians and soldiers all shrunk back with fear.
He took a screw driver and readied a pick;
The things he stole next made me totally sick.
The Elves through the galaxy all did the same,
Defences constructed were all brought to shame.
A smasher, a grabber, a commet-eating vixen,
Left everything on surfaces all needing fix'n!
Get out the torch, bring down the wall!
Now grab away, stash away, dash away all!
Icy crystals were a-swirl beyond high in the sky,
But melted as through them the strange man did fly.
Leaving droplets of water to which we'd given birth,
The laden sleigh made its quick way back to Earth.
As the saint dropped atop a little childs' treasured flop,
He was heavily pursued by those wanting him to stop.
Sharp explosions rang out that should have caused fear,
But sweet youngsters imagined the sound was reindeer.
As I drew my own weapon, energy was found,
To head for the only good opening around.
Our clothes swept the chimney til it was all clean and slick,
But nobody cared that it blackened Saint Nick.
All anyone saw was amazing new toys,
For only this lucky world’s plump girls and boys.
Disguise! That was the trick, to being unscary;
He puffed out his cheeks, made his face look all hairy.
Round friendly glasses striped like candy were chosen,
Then he finished the look with some red lederhosen.
Just then a long barrel that cracked through a window,
Spit head-seeking light rays that landed a thinned glow.
This weapon was of a peculiar kind,
It did something extremely bizarre to his mind.
With a tingling in the brain there ensued an epiphany,
Making his eyes glow like glass styled by Tiffany.
He threw up an arm, raised his eyes to the skies,
Cried, "No more harm, no more spies, so soon nobody dies!
I can make things right here, with an axe and my spear;
The children get great toys, and no one lives in fear."
He sucked himself up the chimney,
To create his own symphony;
Retrained elves to be builders,
Knit a girl's stocking, then filled hers.
Calling into the night, now knowing it was right,
"Merry Christmas to all, I will soon end your plight!"
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