My anger has been strong again lately. It’s not focused anger. I’m not angry at God, or at the young man whose actions killed you. I’m angry at everything! I’m angry that life goes on, and I’m angry that yours didn’t.
When you first died, I tried to fill our lives with other young people, but it’s not the same. They aren’t you. That horrible hole that’s been left in my life will never be filled, and that hurts!
People lie when they say time heals. It doesn’t. Maybe the pain doesn’t come as frequently, but when it comes, it’s just as strong. I miss your love, Rob. That faith and trust and sometimes adoration that you and Lori had for me doesn’t come from anywhere else. And the bond that was between us was like nothing else I’ve ever experienced. I feel so damned angry that I’ve lost it with you!
I’m realistic enough to know that when something is lost, all focus goes to it. And I know I still have my husband Chuck, my daughter Lori, my grandson Christopher and Lori’s new baby who will soon be here…and for them I’m grateful. But what do I do with the loneliness I have for you? How do I fill that or temper it? I don’t think I can. I think I’ll just have to learn to live with it.
Click Follow to receive emails when this author adds content on Bublish