I went back to work today and it kept me busy, but nothing can take away the pain. Unexpected memories burst into my mind and sent shock waves of agony through me, emotionally knocking me to the ground.
Today when Danielle was away from her desk, I answered the phone. It was Janice’s son asking for her. Just a simple, ordinary happening on a typical day, but it drove a knife into my gut as I realized that I will never again get a call from you. Rob, Rob, Rob, how can I make it through life without you? You were such a part of me. You were flesh of my flesh. You were my dreams and my hopes, my expectations of life. You gave me proof that my optimistic approach to life would pay off. Now my optimism is lying shattered against the ragged rocks of life as evil laughter echoes through my ears.
When I get tired, it is worse . . . I feel hopeless and don’t really see any reason to put effort into anything. I know there’s a reason and I know I’ll get through this, but God help me . . . I want to scream: “I WANT MY SON BACK!” I would give anything to hug you again, scold you again, help you with your Algebra and English again.
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