Besides the guilt, my emotions were all mixed into one big blob, with one clear feeling for sure: I felt so darn scared going it alone. Wow! Taking care of my baby wasn’t going to be easy, but she’d have me to raise her. Frankly, that wasn’t enough; I wanted her to have a dad in her life. As you know, my dad was a toxic one. In response to Craig’s negative attitude, my toxic traits wanted to lash out, just as Dad would’ve. But I kept it all contained, knowing what a wonderful opportunity he was missing by not being a part of her life. All I could give was an abundance of love for the two of us, which meant loving her with every fiber of my being. Despite those toxic emotions, I loved the baby I brought into this world. I couldn’t take back our affair. At that time, I didn’t care what anyone thought—Mom, Dad, my sisters, brothers, relatives, or friends. I was young and naïve, and I deeply loved . . .
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