One way I believe Reg communicates with me is via songs. For example, I made a video for his memorial service that displayed photos of him while the song “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” played. Most people like this song by Israel Kamakawiwo‘ole, but since it was released in 1990, it’s rarely played on the radio. After Reg passed away, I heard the song repeatedly on the radio. I choose to believe Reg sent me the song as a sign that he was still with me. As I often tell people, you can’t prove to me it’s not him, and it comforts me to think it’s him; so I choose to believe it’s him.
Similarly, two months before Reg passed away, he and I took a vacation in the ski resort town of Breckenridge. An organization called Domus Pacis, which provides respite stays for families and couples dealing with cancer, provided this vacation. After Reg died, the organization created a video to highlight what they do, and they requested interviews from people who had participated in a respite stay. I agreed to do it. As they interviewed me, I sobbed like crazy—full snot included. Five minutes after leaving the interview spot, the song “She Moves in Her Own Way” played on the radio. This song by the Kooks was Reg’s ringtone for me on his cell phone. The band released this song in 2006. I hadn’t heard this song on the radio in an extremely long time. In fact, I’m not sure I’ve ever heard it on the radio. Yet, as I drove away from an interview where I sobbed in front of a camera as I discussed how cancer took my husband, the song played on the radio. Some would say this was just a coincidence. I, however, choose to believe Reg played me that song, so I would know he was there and still loves me.
On my second Valentine’s Day without Reg, I turned on Pandora, which is an online streaming music service. The first song that played was “Naked” by the BoDeans. That song is the ringtone I had for him on my cell phone. Perhaps it’s just a coincidence that “Naked” was the first song that Pandora played on Valentine’s Day, a day when I was clearly missing him. But I choose to believe he played it for me. Another time, I went running near the location where we got married. I brought his ashes, so I could scatter some at the wedding sight. When I arrived at the spot, I played my iTunes. I asked that if he were there to please play a song that was obviously from him. The first song that played was “I Can’t Help Falling in Love With You” by Elvis. We had danced to that song at our wedding, and he had sung that song to me as we danced at other people’s weddings. I choose to believe Reg was there, which made me sob but also comforted me.
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