The grief that accompanies the loss of a loved one is crippling. In Feeling Left Behind, author Kim Murdock relates and empathizes with that pain because she’s been there. She knows what it feels like to be woefully blindsided by music or at the grocery store, to reconsider the future alone, and to connect with a person who is no longer alive. You will relate to her chapters as she describes:
● The crushing desire to freeze time and isolate yourself
● The unstable phase of “firsts”― first holidays, birthdays, anniversaries
● The anger and sadness at seeing other couples
● The loss of self, empathy, security, and tolerance
● The heartbreaking sadness of getting rid of their belongings
● And so much more
This is not a step-by-step guide on how to grieve. Kim outlines every detail of her experience as well as the experiences of her widow/widower friends to show you that you are not alone. You are normal. And you deserve as much time as possible to figure out how to survive in your own way.
Kim Murdock is a writer and editor who has made it her mission to help those dealing with the loss of a loved one, particularly a spouse. After becoming a widow at 42, she didn't want people to tell her how to heal or that everything happens for a reason. She just wanted to know that her feelings were normal. She spent almost three years working with a grief counselor and joined a young widows group, becoming good friends with many widows/widowers. Having these outlets to share her feelings and know she wasn't alone was really the only thing that helped her.
In gratitude to the widows and widowers who helped her, she decided to pay it forward and support others suffering a loss. In her award-winning book, Feeling Left Behind, she shares her experiences and feelings to help others know they aren't alone and that their feelings are normal. In a candid and heartfelt way, she expresses what many–maybe even most–grieving people feel and experience.
For Thanksgiving, this bubble is dedicated to those who’ve supported me in this book journey. Thanks to my mom, Pam, who’s championed me throughout the process. To my grief counselor, Diane, who encouraged me and affirmed that grieving spouses need this book. To Dr. Patti Ashley, who saved me from having to find another endorsement when she called and said, “Oh my God, I love your book!” To Dr. Patti Luckenbach, who specializes in grief and believed in the book; she wrote a beautiful endorsement and a handwritten note telling me how much she liked the book. To Dianne Armstrong for repeatedly telling me how helpful she thought the book would be. To Ginger and Kathy for reading the book‘s early copies. To Arleen for reminding me why the book was important by repeatedly asking me when she could purchase it. To Elisa Malangone for telling me the type of photo that should be on the book’s cover and for recommending the book to her grieving clients. To Michelle Fairbanks and Michelle Argyle who were patient throughout the process of designing the book. To Alexa Bigwarfe for sharing publishing resources, making it easier for me to self-publish. To everyone who’s given a review and to all readers who’ve trusted me with their grief and read the book. Thank you!
Feeling Left Behind: Permission to Grieve
My mom and I ended up going to a restaurant for Thanksgiving dinner. We’d eaten at the restaurant before but never for Thanksgiving. It was a vegan restaurant attached to the Hare Krishna Temple. It was the perfect place for us to go. I felt as if it was the place for misfits, for people who had nowhere else to go. They didn’t play celebratory music. They just played mellow, spiritual music. I remember seeing a man with his laptop sitting by himself. There was one family, but the other tables had groups of friends. I saw no couples, which was a huge relief to me. It was such a relief to be in a place that wasn’t a traditional Thanksgiving venue, such as a home with happy couples, celebratory families, and traditional Thanksgiving food. I set the Mickey and Minnie Mouse salt-and-pepper shakers on the table. Truly, I can’t explain how relieved I was to be in a space that felt like a place for misfits and that wasn’t traditional. I’m not sure I would have survived Thanksgiving otherwise.