I’m ashamed of myself. How did I become such a cynical person? I was never that girl. I used to see the good in people. I was the embodiment of a Pollyanna. If you looked up Pollyanna in Webster’s Dictionary it would have said, “a person characterized by irrepressible optimism and a tendency to find good in everything” and after that it would have said “Alexa”.
I let him change me; I let them all change me. Between my mother, father, and Tyler, they sucked the joy and optimism out of my life. If I continue to be like this, it means they win. I need to find myself and get back to the Alexa I once was - the girl who laughed so much she snorted. I want soda to spurt out my nose. I want to sing when I shower. I want to dance in the rain and have water balloon fights in the heat of the day. I want to live again, not just exist.
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