Setting boundaries is one of the hardest things to do when you love an addict. Among other things, you worry that they’ll think you’re withholding your love and support from them. And the guilt just keeps piling up.
When you love an addict, you tend to suffer from boundary problems as well. Your obsession with helping them get well causes you to try to handle business that is not your concern.
It’s only when you realize just how miserable you’ve become, coupled with the fact that your addict isn’t getting any better (or may be getting worse), that you decide to do something about it. You’ve hit your own bottom waiting for them to hit theirs.
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