What do you know about the Viking afterlife? Yes, you know after them sexy Vikings died in bloody battle, where did they supposedly go to? Are you hot for Norse mythology? Flying Valkyries anyone? Well, according to mighty legend there’s a beautiful and majestic hall in ethereal Asgard where all the warriors fallen in battle can eternally feast with Odin. Glorious warriors of destiny perpetually hustle and brawl while they joyfully feast with majestic Nordic Gods in the afterlife.
Sounds like an interesting tale to tell doesn’t it?
Well actually, those plagiaristic Nordic philosophers blatantly stole the idea from us! Valhalla sounds exactly like our very creative Mesopotamian underworld! This situation is total and absolute copyright infringement! Irkalla was created thousands of years before the Vikings even existed! All that Amanita Muscaria mushroom-eating fetish was definitely invented by us without even blinking. Also all the kinky sexual debauchery and mad alcoholic beverages drinking-fun, definitely our kind of thing. You ever seen our glorious temples? All that you can find inside are a lot of naked statues of people engaging in dubious wicked acts of sexual perversion. Ever seen the magnificent and unforgettable statues to Ishtar?
You can see them big melons on me, free of charge.
Outrageous copyright infringement! Us, Mesopotamian Gods and deities in Irkalla were organizing orgies and brewing up them hallucinogenic booze before history even started being recorded! My sister Ereshkigal she’s top-dog in the party business. Nobody in this life or the next, can fix a devious gig like her. Would you like to be remembered for ever and ever fucking after?
Kaching bitch, I know you want it!
Your name written in history for eons to come.
Sure, thing guaranteed if you dare to call my sister. Just mention my sweet name and she’ll give you a juicy 33% discount, complementary of your one and only goddess Ishtar reborn. This is my gift to you my dear fanatics, even in the afterlife I’m more kind and generous than anyone you’ll ever meet. I’m your tenderly sweet and eternally truthful goddess that will never betray you. I will never sell you out nor dump you on the street after using you, and most definitely will never purposely abuse your most beloved trust. In other words, I’m your blissfully holy Mahatma Gandhi with a tasty red cherry on top.
Cheers and hooray to that!
Not that Gandhi the illustrious would accept such an association or comparison. After all I’m the perverted goddess and while I shortly lived on earth I was PurpleCandyXXX the magnificent CamGirl. So? Do you like my song? The song of the Siren that will make you lose yourself in the tempestuous sea of immortal carnal desires.
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