When I got home, I had a strong urge to listen to my favorite song by Mariah Carey, “I Don’t Wanna Cry.” The melody of Mariah’s high-octave vocals embraced my pain and sorrow perfectly somehow. I drowned my emotions in a bottle of booze — E & J Cognac, straight. I got lost in the emptiness inside myself. . . . I kept drinking anyway. Could I have sunk any lower? But the booze didn’t lessen the pain. It had truly been one of the worst moments in my life . . . . There was this huge void. It felt as though I wanted to give up, just keel over and die . . . . It had become so darn hard to live my life.
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