Is Julia dying? The only thing this
bad in my whole life was when Kate was struggling to live. Bad thoughts tumbled over one another. I wasn’t a good enough sister, not loving or understanding or helpful enough. I was too judgmental. Every unconscious selfish, mean thing she’d ever done to Julia jumped out at her like a ghoul from behind a tree in a graveyard. She vowed never to be unkind to anyone for the rest of her life if only Julia could live. Guilt over every time she’d ever hurt Julia’s feelings or criticized her, even in her own mind, tied her intestines into a pretzel of gut-wrenching regret. She doubled over in pain. She couldn’t stomach the thought of losing Julia or the idea that she had ever been unkind to her—which she had. I must be kind always now and keep my end up. That’s all.
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