"Good Morning Robert, my name is TCI12, which, as you know, stands for Titan Computer Interface number 12. I am the resident computer interface for all life support systems and operations while you are on Titan."
"Thank you, TCI12, if you don't mind, I'll just call you Teci for short."
"That designation is more than adequate. Now that you have landed on Titan for your 365-day tour are you familiar with my operation and our objectives?"
"Yes, I reviewed the objectives for this site and I also am familiar with the challenges that you have faced. I'm sorry to hear about the previous resident that had ... difficulties while he was here."
"Thank you for taking the time to understand what we are trying to accomplish and also for understanding the difficulties that our previous site manager faced. We worked together closely and I'm very sorry that difficulties arose that he couldn't deal with."
"I appreciate your concern, but let's get down to business. I have 365 days here to capture the methane on the planet, condense it and ship it back to Earth. I didn't want this assignment, but it is the best I could get, so we'll make the most of it and hopefully it will be over with quickly and I can get home."
"I understand your position. Even though this isn't a position that humans actively seek, it is still an important position. The methane that we condense and send back to Earth on the daily supply ships is a valuable source of clean energy for Earth."
"Ya, right. I know all of that. But, I'm still stuck here alone for 365 days doing the same crap day after day. If you don't mind, I'd like to just get through it and get out of here."
"As you wish, my job is to help you while you are here and to ensure that you succeed. May I suggest that we begin by reviewing the status of the Methane Collection Units? There are 124 units assigned to this facility. There are 84 currently condensing methane at remote locations. There are 18 in the service bay waiting for you to repair them. There are 14 units outside the repair facility waiting for repair while there are 8 either moving towards our facility for repairs or they have been repaired and are moving towards their remote sites."
"If I may add, I have based my projected repair rates on the previous site manager and I calculate that this site is behind needs an additional 4 units . In order to remain on the schedule, those units..."
"Yes, I know what I have to do. Thanks for reminding me...and don't be a jerk about it."
"As you wish. Robert, I also have the standard welcome message from the company. I am required to play it for you, may I begin now?"
"Ya, go ahead and play it..."
"Good morning ...," Robert thought to himself, shit they couldn't even put my name in it! "the Solar Resource Mining Company wants to welcome you to your assignment. We are excited to have you on Titan and supporting us in such a critical mission. While you are on assignment, we will do everything we can to support you so that we will both be successful. We understand the personal sacrifice that you have made in accepting this exciting assignment. We recognize the contribution that your efforts will make and the importance this assignment has for your career. Because of your commitment we assure you that your success is critical to us and everyone's job is to ensure that you succeed. Once again feel comfortable, that we are here to support you and make sure that your assignment passes quickly and you are enriched by your efforts."
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