No. She focused on the present. The bedroom she shared with Jeff. The touch she felt now was Jeff’s touch. She was safe. And no one knew the truth.
“Are you okay?” Jeff asked.
“Yeah,” she managed to say. She could never tell him. As badly as she wanted to confide in him, how could she? What would he think of her if he knew?
“That had to be one hell of a nightmare. Why don’t you tell me about it?”
Samantha shook her head. “It was just a crazy, scary dream.”
The memories were breaking out of the darkness she’d hid them in. She’d thought she could bury everything deep enough so that it could never touch her again. Now she realized that had been a fantasy. She’d never be able to forget. Whether the memories came back in her dreams or while she was awake, they would always come back.
“You’re still shaking. You sure you don’t want to talk about it?”
“I just remember monsters. Horrible monsters.” And that wasn’t far from the truth.
Jeff held her close. “Strange how dreams can feel so real sometimes.”
“Yeah.” More so than he’d ever realize.
Jeff settled back on the pillows, gently pulling Samantha down beside him. “It’s over now. Go back to sleep, sweetheart.”
Samantha lay still in Jeff’s arms, listening to his soft breaths. She stared through the darkness, doing her best to control the desire to run. She couldn’t run from herself. She had nowhere to hide.
She reminded herself that her past was over. Her life was with Jeff now. Why couldn’t the memories remain in that forgotten part of her mind?
She concentrated on the warmth of Jeff’s arms surrounding her. He loved her. He didn’t think she was a whore. He didn’t think she was dirty or worthless.
But he didn’t really know her, did he?
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