Save the Sausage
All is not well in Switzerland. This seemingly peaceful country is up in arms over a crisis that could signal the end of Swiss civilization: The Brazilian Cow Intestine Shortage. I, for one, was not aware of the Brazilian Cow Intestine Shortage and feel that the media owes us more coverage of this international crisis. Instead, we're subjected to the nightly election campaign coverage. Personally, I would rather hear about cow intestines than what Clinton, Obama, McCain, and Romney have to say.
And, I believe the President should be giving regular press conferences on the status of the Brazilian Cow Intestine Shortage. But, that's just me. I demand more of my government.
Now, you may be wondering to yourself, "Self, just what is the Brazilian Cow Intestine Shortage and how will it impact my well being, as measured by my ability to try unusual foods when I'm traveling in Europe?"
Well, I have the answer. If you're planning a trip to Switzerland and you want to sample the cervelat sausage, you had better leave now. (I assume if you're still reading, you're not planning to go to Switzerland.) You see, the EU has imposed some wacky restrictions on the importing of Brazilian cow intestines because of fears over mad cow disease. (Bovine spongiform encephalopathy- I just love saying that.)
Apparently, the intestines of other nations' cows don't quite measure up to the Brazilian cows. So, experts predict Switzerland will run out sometime this summer. That's a big deal because the Swiss eat 160 million ceverat sausages per year. (There are only 7 million Swiss!) According to the AP, the Swiss eat them raw, boiled, or grilled. Maybe they should stop selling them to the raw people. That should make them last longer and prevent me from puking if I visit this summer and actually witness someone eating one raw.
Finally, I think you should write your President, your Congressman/Congresswoman, and CNN. Tell them you want regular updates on the Brazilian Cow Intestine Shortage. But don't stop there. Demand that each of the Presidential candidates outline how they will address the Cow Intestine Shortage, if they were elected. Think how much fun the debates would be...
Carry on, Citizens!
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