My Dearest Gavin,
The first thing I want to say is that I am so sorry for everything that has gone wrong. I take full responsibility. Any pain you are experiencing is my fault and I truly never meant to hurt you. I screwed up royally and did not have enough faith in our relationship to talk to you. In all honesty, I was worried that my fuck up would have ruined your career and I would never intentionally hurt you like that. My mistake was getting an underage possession of alcohol ticket on a night that I should have just went to your house and crashed. A lot of my shame and reasons for my actions are because I wanted to prove that I was still a fun person to hang out with and not a "narc" which is what everyone was calling me due to my relationship with you.
I will admit that I am too young and immature to face you, which is why I had to tell you in a letter. I wanted to tell you everything before I left. To tell you that I was having problems with many of my so-called friends due to my relationship with you.
I should have handled it better. I should have been above their actions but I let their words get the better of me.
I love you more than you can ever imagine which is why I am sending this letter. I will not be your downfall nor will I ever hold you back. You deserve much better than me. Please forget about me and find someone to love. Someone who can return everything you have to give and more. Someone who will always be there for you and will love you with all they are. Please do this for me Gavin so that I may move on with my life also. By the time you get this letter I will be out of boot camp and probably on my way to some Navy station out of state. There is nothing left for us.
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