Will I survive? Will I ever be happy again? These are questions that Harriet Hodgson asked herself after she was left to raise her twin grandchildren, while grieving for four family members, including her daughter. Harriet reminds us that we are not alone in our grief and, though losses may define our lives, they will not destroy them.
Harriet Hodgson has been a freelancer for 37 years and is the author of 35 books. She is a member of the Association of Health Care Journalists and a contributing writer for the Open to Hope Foundation website, The Grief Toolbox website, and The Caregiver Space website. Hodgson has appeared on more than 180 talk shows, including CBS Radio, and dozens of television stations, including CNN. A popular speaker, she has given presentations at public health, Alzheimer's and bereavement conference. Her work is cited in Who's Who of American Women, World Who's Who of Women, Contemporary Authors, and other directories. She lives in Rochester, MN with her husband, John. Please visit www.harriethodgson.com for more information about this busy author and grandmother.
Secondary Losses May be as Important as the Origin
On June 30, 2014 I became my disabled husband's caregiver. I didn't know it at the time, but this was a special moment in my life, the moment I decided to keep my pledge to my husband. That pledge: I will not fail you. As the months passed, we realized we were grieving for secondary losses: loss of a an active life, loss of friends (caregiving is isolating), and the loss of being able to do things on the spur of the moment. Since we're home most of the time, we have more remembering time, and we think of our deceased daughter. Sometimes our thoughts are sad, and sometimes they are joyful. We continue to stay in touch with our feelings and name them. Wherever you may be in your journey, this is a good idea, and keeps you on the recovery path. Day by day, you are healing.
Happy Again!: Your New and Meaningful Life After Loss
No matter where you are in your grief journey, you need to stay in touch with your feelings. This requires total honesty. If you’re angry, say so. If you’re exhausted, say so. If you’re overwhelmed, say so. If you’re sad, say so. If you don’t know how you feel, say so. Honesty helps others to help you and keeps you on the recovery path. Slowly, slowly, you are healing.