We did go to court yesterday, and I was all prepared to speak before the judge. But my chance didn’t come—at least not yet. The young man had been arraigned on Monday! The solicitor (State’s Attorney) had given me the wrong date.
It was so awful. Dad, Kim and I were so psyched up to handle this thing—to see the man who killed you—then chillingly cold water was dashed into our faces, and we hit the bottom of the emotional roller coaster we have been riding on.
When no one showed up as we had expected them to, we had to track down what was happening. I wanted to cry, scream, and rage. I was hurting badly. Didn’t people know how necessary it was for me to be kept abreast of this case? This young man, because of his choice and his mistake, took the life of my son. I need to see him—to see what kind of person he is—to know what consequence he will pay. Are all of the people who handle these cases so detached from their feelings that they aren’t aware of the pain that we (the victims) are going through? Or is this a pain you know about only after you feel it? I don’t know. I just know that yesterday I relived a lot of the emotional exhaustion caused by your death.
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