Have you ever met someone out of the blue one day and suddenly your whole body, every vibrating cell of your being knows that you’re supposed to fall in love with the person standing before you?
Your brain tells you differently, so instead of falling into it, you try and ignore your heart’s longing, that quiet nagging, the urging that’s telling you to go for it. Instead, you listen to the loud wise voice you know to be right in your head. At first, it whispers subtly, “Don’t fall in love with this person. He can’t love you the way you need to be loved. Neither of you are in a place where any of this makes sense.” Then it becomes louder and louder, and all at once—as if trying to drown out the beat of your ever-racing heart as you stare into the eyes of your lover— it screams at you, “Do not fall in love with this person; it will ruin you.” But the trouble is the screams can’t or won’t or simply don’t drown out what the heart knows to be true. You’ve already fallen, and there’s just no turning back.
Looking back, you realize it happened the second your eyes met his. The truth of the matter is what’s done is done. Now, all there is left to do is to hang on and enjoy the ride, even if you know it’ll lead to your inevitable ruin. “Hang on,” your heart says. And so you will. Because deep down, you know there’s simply no other choice to be made.
I love you, William. This is me telling you that, in my own way, in the only way I really know how.
I’m sorry about yesterday. But there are boundaries we each have set in place for various reasons, and we both need to learn what those boundaries are. Here’s hoping there’s a better and, more importantly, more fun way to work out the kinks. ;)
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