Would you believe there's a pig in my bed?
There is, Dad, I promise! He's big, and he's red,
And he snores something awful! Like halfway between
A grunt and an oink, if you know what I mean.
And I not only can't get him out of my bed,
He won't even move over!
So what if instead
Of trying to deal with this pork chop with feet,
I stay up, watch TV, have a little to eat,
Or go do some homework, I know you'd like that,
'Cause I'm not really sleepy!
—and besides, there's this bat
That keeps flying past my window all night!
And I wouldn't mind that, it just makes me up tight
The weird funny way that he stares at my neck,
And he talks kinda foreign, and
—okay, what the heck,
I'm going! I'm going! Just don't you blame me
If you wake up tomorrow morning to see
That your very own son has changed into
A vampire kid, or a pork chop stew,
Don't say I didn't warn you, Dad!
(Now why'd he have to get so mad?)
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