We're selling Father's moustache,
I hope he doesn't mind.
We're hoping for a hefty price,
Say, $13.99
It's not that we need the money,
Although it couldn't hurt.
It's just that he looks so funny,
Like he fell face down in the dirt.
And all our friends are laughing,
They point at him and stare,
And pass us giggling down the street
Like we're not even there.
So late tonight at midnight,
We'll have our fondest dream;
My brother with the shaver,
And me with shaving cream.
We'll put some earmuffs on his head
And cover up his eyes,
We'll even tie him to the bed,
Oh, won't he be surprised!
'Cause he'll wake up feeling lighter
In the head, but won't know why.
Yep, we're selling Father's moustache,
Do you think he'd like to buy?
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