Once he could no longer see Lilith, Cain sprinted away, focusing on speed. It felt as if Yahweh pulled him away with a strong hand, as if He discerned how desperate Cain felt. If he didn’t fly away, he would thrash and fight and claw to get back to her.
As he ran, tears streaked his cheekbones. Going back had ripped open all the wounds. Her promise to care for herself and to live again eased his mind at least.
God now dragged him in a new direction, bearing toward the pole star, the axis around which the sky rotated. Cain ran north as far as he could, finally walking when he could run no longer. He spent the entire day pondering Lilith’s appearance, her words, and her promises.
Cain hoped and prayed—yes, prayed—that God would heal her. Could he talk to God? Could he pray?
Since their conversation on the bank of the river when he had tried to wash Abel’s blood and gore off his body, Cain hadn’t spoken to God. He had memorized Yahweh’s words of judgment from that day, continually repeating them to himself, meditating on them even. They were seared into his heart and mind, condemning his motives and his actions. The last year had been spent lashing himself with God’s words.
Cain didn’t think God wanted to talk to him. God had issued what Cain had thought was the final verdict on his life. Unworthy and unloved, he had left God’s presence.
But, as he had spoken to Lilith, a revelation had come—for a while he had known it was impossible to leave God’s presence. Speaking to Lilith always helped him clarify his thoughts and feelings. It had helped him realize what he really felt about this year of banishment.
Cain didn’t feel angry at God any longer; he was only angry at himself. Cain thought he might be ready to speak to the Creator again. He hoped God would hear him. He focused his thoughts toward Yahweh:
Oh God! Please heal Lilith! It hurt to see her in such agony of mind. Please! Please, God, don’t let my actions cause her such pain. I’m so sorry I hurt her. Please help her!
Cain grieved for the woundedness he had seen in Lilith’s eyes. He wanted God to protect her. But Cain knew he was evil; he knew he deserved any penalty God inflicted upon him.
Click Follow to receive emails when this author adds content on Bublish