The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity; but a wounded spirit who can bear?
One evening while I was traveling in my car waiting to make a turn, I looked in my rearview mirror, and saw a large vehicle coming through the rear end of my car. What seemed to be a rush of pressure I thought would quickly end, suddenly turned into another shock of unexpected force. My vehicle was pushed into oncoming traffic, only to be struck by another vehicle which proceeded through the front passenger door of my car. The rapid force of the impact knocked both shoes off my feet. The horrifying sight of crushed metal appeared to be like a crash shown in a movie. However, to myamazement, it was me who was sitting amidthisconfusion.
When I opened my car door I was confident everything was fine because I was able to walk away from the wreckage. I was absolutely certain I was not injured because I was not bleeding or had any bruises until my right knee started to swell. Dismissing the thought that anything else could be wrong with me, I agreed to be rushed to the hospital where I was examined and released. This was because the x-ray results did not show any knee injuries.
However, shortly after my release from the hospital, intense pain began to set in from my neck to my feet. My primary care physician discovered through further examinations that I had suffered back and neck injuries. The aftereffects from this accident continued, lasting from weeks to months to years. The extreme pain which resonated throughout my body seemed tobe neverending especially during the beginning stages of my recovery. The shocking, uncontrollable, and sporadic muscle spasms came without warning and would even wake me up during the night.
I could not initially imagine getting better because of the agonizing pain. Days seemed to be prolonged as I tried to cope with the persistent stiffness in my back and knees. The constant struggle of standing, sitting, and walking for extended periods of time increased during every moment of activity. Simple tasks which could be completed within a few minutes prior to the accident took between forty-five minutes to an hour.
I even had difficulty writing because carpal tunnel syndrome developed in both of my hands. So I had to wear braces to stabilize my wrists. This is similar to how emotional wounds can run so deep that people will think that no extreme damage has been done especially after the initial offense. They will convince themselves that unresolved issues are a thing of the past. However, as time goes on, the results will begin to show in many ways.
Numerous doctor appointments wore on my patience like never before. This was because I was given prescriptions to complete several physical therapy sessions every week which triggered more pain. In the midst of this perceived torture, my expectation of receiving a quick healing remained consistent even though it did not happen within my anticipated and scheduled time frame. I quickly learned that I had to adjustmy mental outlook based on my limited physical ability.
Sometimes uncertain if I could make it any longer, God would reassure me of Hisunconditional love and commitment to me. When I think about those moments of uncertainty during the accident, I had no time to think about how I could defend myself against the powerful forces of those vehicles which hit my car. There was no time to maneuver my way out of traffic as my car was sitting still. The only defense I had to rely on was God. He proved that He was with me that day by saving my life.
There were times when I felt so discouraged yet there were moments when I was inspired to resist being defeated physically or mentally. When moments of depression would invade my mind as an enemy would take captive a city, I had to proactively change my focus from allowing the overwhelming sadness to consume me by attending spiritual therapy sessions with the Word of God. Clinging to the promises of God’s healing power brought me to a place of total reliance in Him to renew my body day by day. That’s when I decided to turn my attention away from unreliable people whom I thought would help alleviate my problems. It was during those moments of clarity when I began to understand the reason why many of us experience disappointment.
We tend to focus on the wrong sources which are finite in their ability to sustain us physically or emotionally. We put confidence in people who express their intended actions to us then become frustrated when they do not follow through on their promises.During those moments, you must choose to focus on God’s promises. You must also resist the enemy when he tries to fill your mind with doubt and fear by telling you that God has forgotten about you or that your future looks bleak.
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of a good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
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