“You know,” Laura had continued, “several years back, I wanted so desperately for James to treat me as a lover, but I didn’t know how to get him to do that. And I certainly couldn’t ask anybody. So I got my answers the way I always do—through books.” Laura had laughed. “Every suggestion you can think of is in books, and I was going to try them all.”
“Like what?” Helene was curious.
“Well, one woman author wrapped herself in plastic wrap and met her husband at the door.” Laura giggled.
“Plastic wrap? Just plastic wrap? Tell me you didn’t do that.”
Gales of laughter had erupted from Laura’s end of the phone. “I did. I mean . . . I tried. And failed.”
“Failed?” Helene chuckled. “What do you mean failed?”
“Helene, it was the funniest thing you’ve ever seen. I left the kids with a neighbor to spend the night. Then I went to the store and got all these rolls of plastic wrap . . . you know, the real sticky kind. I hauled them up to the bedroom and took off all my clothes. I started winding the plastic around my legs, but I wasn’t thinking too clearly, because instead of wrapping each individual leg, I wrapped them both—mummy-style.”
Fresh laughter erupted. Where in the world do people come up with these ideas?
“I was concentrating so hard I didn’t realize what I had done. I wrapped up all the way to my chest and crisscrossed it over my shoulders like a gown before I tried to walk. I couldn’t. I had wound it so snugly around my legs.”
The women were laughing so hard that they needed a moment to control themselves.
“Then I decided to unwrap myself and begin again, but the darn stuff was so sticky, it kept clinging, and when I did get it pulled off, I couldn’t get it back onto the roll without sticking to itself. I was so frustrated that I hopped over to the dresser, got a pair of scissors, and started cutting the stuff off. Then the worst part happened.”
“What? Did you cut yourself?”
“No. James surprised me and came home early.” Laura giggled.
“Oh no.” Helene held her stomach to try to control the laughter as she envisioned her friend wrapped in sticky, clear plastic, crying and trying to cut the blasted stuff off.
“At first, he was scared to death. He had no idea what was going on. I was crying uncontrollably, cutting the plastic wrap, and angrily pulling it off my body.” Laura’s laughter had settled into soft memories.
“Finally, James calmed me down and gently removed the plastic as I cried and told him what I was trying to do. He wiped the tears from my eyes. Then, as I sat naked on the edge of the bed, he gathered all the plastic wrap into one huge ball and put it on the chair by the window. He told me it was to remind him how much his wife loved him. He said he didn’t know that.”
Laura’s voice became very soft. “He was very angry at himself for all the hurt he had caused me and was sure he had lost me. He was so touched at my plastic wrap efforts and his gentleness touched me. It was a beginning for us.” Her voice perked up. “Now all we have to do is see a box of plastic wrap, and we just start laughing.”
Click Follow to receive emails when this author adds content on Bublish