February 13th, 2009 (I’m not very good at cooking breakfast) I wake up every morning and my options are already limited. The
only things that I know how to cook are breakfast foods, which does
not leave me with a very diverse array of options. I can cook eggs,
toast, and cereal, and that’s it. I like to call it my etcetera breakfast
options (etc., eggs, toast, and cereal, get it?). They’re the only foods
that I have to choose from, but I’m always open to adding more
to my repertoire. That is, if I ever decide to get off of my lazy ass
and learn how to make some pancakes. How difficult could that be
anyway? I mean, they’re just cakes in a pan. Anyway, I haven’t been
the happiest person lately, and breakfast just always reminds me of
why I’m so frustrated with my life. I’m not skilled at much, and so
I don’t feel like I’m going anywhere in life. I think that I know how
to get to where I need to be though, but the problem is that it may
take a while.
I think the key to life is love. Yeah, maybe that sounds corny, but
it’s just what I believe. Everyone believes in something ridiculous
to keep them going each and every day. The movies always make
it seem as if you’ll feel something special when you’re with the
love of your life, and I think that’s true, but I also think that I might
be romanticizing as to just what that feeling is. Laugh at me for
this if you must, but I believe that when you’re with the love of
your life, you feel what the meaning of life is. It won’t be written
in words or anything blatantly obvious like that. It will simply be
an incredible feeling which can only be felt once you have fully
committed yourself to the true love of your life. I don’t know, I
guess that sounds a bit crazy, but it’s just that everyone makes love
out to be the most important thing to find in life, and so it would
make sense that there would be some clear, magical sign to signify
that you have truly found it, such as discovering your own personal
meaning to life. I guess, aside from the fact that I romanticize true
love to a ridiculous degree, that my problem is that while I know
that I want to find love, in order to find myself, I know that I don’t
really know how to yet. Sometimes I think that my lack of cooking
skills symbolizes my unwillingness to open up, and try new things.
If I’m ever going to find true love, I’m going to have to learn how to
be more open. I’m going to have to learn how to open my heart.
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