As your child’s parent, it is your job to train your child that a tantrum does not work as a tool to get what they want. This will save you, the parent years of embarrassment.
The parent must understand that they will have an immediate “flight or fight” reaction to a screaming child. The parent’s immediate reaction is to do whatever is necessary to stop the child from his angst. This is how tantrum behavior is enabled.
This is the worst thing you can do. At the very first instance, you cannot cave and give your screaming, kicking child what your child wants to stop him. If you do this, you are SUBLIMINALLY TRAINING your child that a screaming, kicking tantrum is a working scenario for them to control you.
You must prepare yourself for embarrassment the first time it happens, to save your relationship with your child. Also to save your child’s relationship with the world around him.
When your child commences with screaming and/or rolling on the floor kicking their feet, you must just calmly walk away. If at home, immediately go into a different room and totally ignore your child’s tantrum. Ignore him for as long as it takes him to collect himself.
You need to teach your child IMMEDIATELY that this behavior DOES NOT WORK. Remember, children learn the quickest between 0 and 5 years old. Once they learn that a screaming, kicking tantrum does not work they will stop the behavior.
A restaurant is a good example of this. If you immediately remove your child to the car for misbehaving in a restaurant, you are SUBLIMINALLY TRAINING your child that if he is ever bored and doesn’t want to sit still, all he needs to do is throw a fit and you will take him outside and spend time with him,
Instead you need to gently, but forcefully keep him in his place until the fit stops. Your child will quickly learn there is no payoff here and the behavior will stop.
You must be willing to be embarrassed one or two time in public to avoid years of agony. Just ignore the looks of the bystanders who don’t understand.
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