The dream always starts with me trying to catch up with Kathy and Mary Ruth, but they’re way ahead. I’ve just turned off the sidewalk onto the front walk. Kathy is already at the front door to the house at the end of the walk, her hand on the knob. And Mary Ruth is behind her about to step on the bottom stair. The stairs are concrete, and there aren’t many of them, not a whole flight like at Gramma’s. Then Kathy turns, runs down the stairs, and says to Mary Ruth, “There’s nobody home.” Those words. “There’s nobody home.” When I hear them, it’s like someone breathes all the cold air in the entire world into my body so I’m Popsicle cold inside out, and that pushes my heart up through my throat and out my mouth, and it floats off into the sky like a big red star. And while I’m feeling this, Kathy runs off calling, “I’m going ‘round back to look.” Then Mary Ruth turns to me and says, “There’s nobody home.”
I just freeze there feeling the cold breathing into me again and my heart getting pushed out again and again. It’s so dark, and it feels like the sidewalk and house are spinning, and just off the walk is not solid ground with grass, but something shiny and blue that I know will swallow me up if I fall off the path. I’m stuck. I’m afraid to move, and then Mary Ruth runs up to the door and tries it herself. It doesn’t open. She rushes off too, calling to me, “Going back to look,” and she disappears.
I’m left there on the path feeling so alone, thinking I probably don’t need to check the door since it didn’t work for either of my sisters. Then I think I’ll go ‘round back too, but I’m scared. I can’t see the backyard so I’m not sure if it’s really there. My mind floods with questions. No answers. I grow more afraid and the bubble spins faster and faster.
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