Worn out. Powerless. Heartbroken. Alone. Cyndee Rae Lutz has walked this path. In this book, she weaves the painful account of her son's drug addiction with the healing strategies and spiritual wisdom that transformed her life--and can transform others, whether they're facing a crisis or wanting to change direction. Her fusion of powerful ideas, concrete steps, and pertinent examples both liberates and empowers the often-distraught family member or friend to reclaim their life. And it just might be the best thing they can do for their loved one. Often when they get better, their loved one gets better too.
Cyndee Rae Lutz has evolved with her life circumstances, including starting a successful magazine, Divorce in Denver—Moving Forward, following her divorce and becoming a yoga teacher as well as a Twelve Steps mentor in Al-Anon after her son became addicted to drugs. In When Your Heart Belongs to an Addict, her first book, she combines wisdom from these and other philosophies and spiritual practices with her harrowing yet transformative experience as the mother of an addicted son. The result is a practical set of tools to help others survive and thrive in the shadow of addiction.
As an author, speaker, and mentor, Cyndee helps people understand their inherent worth and reclaim their lives from societal expectations, codependency, and the effects of a loved one’s addiction or challenging circumstances. She is a compassionate, approachable resource, and her desire to guide individuals toward their better selves drives both her personal and professional endeavors.
In her free time, Cyndee logs miles upon miles in her walking shoes—often accompanied by her standard poodles—and practices yoga and meditation. She lives with her husband in Centennial, Colo.
Learning to let go was very hard for me. I had to relinquish the illusion that I had any control over my son's behavior. I did not always need to figure out how to make everything turn out well and then feel like a failure when it didn't. As a parent, that's really hard to accept, but it's an important step in reclaiming your own wellbeing.
When Your Heart Belongs to an Addict: A Healing Perspective
Let go of the need to know. Sometimes, you just don’t have to have all the answers. By thinking that you do, you drive yourself crazy trying to project various outcomes and especially worst-case scenarios, which rarely materialize. But letting go in this way is difficult to do. You want answers. For instance, if you love an addict, you want to know if they’re drinking or using, where they are, if they’re lying, if they showed up for work, who they’re talking to on their phone, if they’re passed out somewhere, if they’re dying because someone beat them up, or if they’re dead because of an overdose. The uncertainty drives you absolutely insane—and yet, you rarely have control over any of these things.