As early as possible, a child must understand the word “NO”. When he is a tiny infant, if you do not wish him to do something, gently stop him and say ‘no”. If you are consistent with your training you will amaze other mothers looking on in wonder when your child accepts no in the check out line where the cruel store always chooses to put the candybars. How many times have you seen a mother give in to a screaming child after two or three No, Nos?
The mother of the screaming child has set herself up for failure, and created her own nightmare. The nightmare began because at some point she found it was easier, less embarrassing, to give in to her child than to stick to her NO. It’s not easy to stand firm in the face of an embarrassing screaming tearful child reaching out pitifully for a candy bar or toy. There’s always some Grannie in line murmuring, “Oh, just let the poor thing have it Dearie!”
At some point the loving parent will have to be prepared to look like a jerk, and drag a crying child out of a store. But isn’t one or two of those incidents worth having a child who will accept no the first time, and happily go on to his next thoughts, over a child that creates a scene every time he wants something, and won’t take no for an answer?
Here’s the drill. Even before your child can talk, he is able to reach out and cry for something. At this point you must gently pull his hand back, and say ”no”. Then you MUST ignore any further crying or reaching. This is very important. You are training your child that you mean what you say. You are training your child to respect the rules. The parent that says three “Nos” and then lets the child have the item in question just to shut him up, is training the child that if he cries long enough he will win. The parent is creating their own nightmare!
When pulling the child’s hand away, it is NOT necessary to slap the little hand. Repeated GENTLE hand restraint until the child quits the action, or you are loading him in the car is what is required. Have a stiff upper lip. Every parent has to suffer one or two embarrassing screaming incidents in order to train the well behaved child. Just close your ears to the 100 decibels, and picture a child who minds on the first no, that’s what you’re building!
YOU MUST WIN, DO NOT GIVE IN! If you are consistent, your child, who is quite bright ,will quickly learn that what you say is what is. It will be a waste of energy for him to cry, and he won’t. By the same token, if you tell your child he can do something, no matter how inconvenient it is, you must follow through. He is learning how to behave from you. If you don’t keep your word, why should he?
Your child will know that if you say he can do something, he can. He will also know that if you say no, it is no, PERIOD, END OF STORY. You will never have to carry him screaming from a store once he knows the rules. That doesn’t mean your child won’t ask for things, he will. But he will accept what you say, and you will be proud of him and yourself in the face of all the other children you will see misbehaving in the checkout line.
If you say maybe to your child, your child will know he can continue to persuade, but once you say no, the issue will be over. Because of this, your child will be a joy to be with.
Click Follow to receive emails when this author adds content on Bublish