From the Personal Journal of Kai-Lee Fox Delta
Welcome to my personal point of no return. Maybe if I hadn't poked my nose into the Protocols … but I did, and here I am.
The Alphas were so damned sure they were the enlightened ones, ten steps ahead of the rest of the world. Well, the joke's on them. Four hundred years later, we still can't beat the Known Span, and at least one of us has lost interest in trying.
Oh, I'm sure science is moving forward. Trouble with that is, the more we figure out, the less we seem know. The list of questions we can't answer would stretch from here to Earth. Riddles about the human brain, consciousness, and the non-coding regions in DNA. The countless mysteries of the universe. Dark energy. Dark matter. How the Higgs boson impacts string theory or how many angels can dance on the head of a pin.
Maybe we can never really understand anything. Take the Known Laws, for example. We thought we had a pretty good handle on the speed of light.
But Gregor Sterling says—get this—he says the Known Laws might be breaking down. Not only the speed of light, but the Planck constant, the Bohr radius, you name it. Says they might be decaying, but the process is almost imperceptible, so nobody can be sure. It's only a theory, he says. I expect speculation like that from Zivon—philosophers can be real space cadets. But Gregor is an astrophysicist. A scientist, for crying out loud!
Thank God the Known Laws are somebody else's problem. I've got enough to worry about. Like, how to fake life as usual. Like do I even want to try? Life on board is a treadmill, except we're going nowhere at near-light speed. We're habit incarnate, the whole bunch of us, forever doing what we've been programmed to do with the same people we've always done it with.
This is living? No, this is meaningless. And thanks to the way we've been taught to live, so are we. Meaningless and historically irrelevant.
Or, worse yet, maybe not so irrelevant.
I shudder to think about the kinks, curves, and ellipses we've thrown into the cosmic timeline. Talk about hubris! Well, according to the historical record, arrogance always gets its comeuppance. You ask me, it's only a matter of time until we get ours.
I don't want to sound bitter, but pointlessness—as in, I'm infinitely replaceable, so what's the point?—is a tough pill to swallow these days.
Life should matter. That's where I'm at, right here, right now. Every human life should matter. Every person who lives should leave a unique, indelible trace, no matter how microscopic.
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