“What am I doing?” She touched her stomach with her palm. “Why don’t I feel anything for this innocent child?” Her thoughts exploded with rage, remembering. It was her first rape. She knew women who’d been through it numerous times. It wasn’t that uncommon for this sort of thing to take place. She had an urge to pull her car out of the line and go back to Jonathan. “I can pretend that nothing happened, I can suppress my anger. But the child. Oh, God. I’m sorry, little person.”
The cars slowly rolled forward, toward the entrance to the town. “If I go back, what then? In a few months, he’ll banish me anyway. He’ll think I’m a whore. I’ll be an embarrassment to him.”
The cars rolled forward again. She could now see the man in uniform peering into the window of the frontrunner, the lucky one who had the privilege to enter next. “What is he asking? God, what should I say? I need a story.” Eve’s face flushed with fear, she strained her mind to think of a reason for entering this foreign land. “Ok, I have a cleaning lady that’s ill. I’m just paying a visit to her. Yes, that ought to do.”
The cars rolled forward. She was now second in line. Tears were begging to be released, tired of being blocked behind her eyes.
It was finally her turn. “Stay calm, you can do this.”
The guard leaned over and scrutinized Eve, he panned his eyes around the interior of her car. “Have a nice day, lady.” He waved her in.
She held her breath until she was several blocks inside the township, the ghetto as some called it. Then she let out a silent scream of joy before taking a deep exhale, releasing her anxiety so that she could begin her new undertaking.
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