I’ve failed him as a mother, the child I’m supposed to love,
All because I wanted liquor in my system.
The liquor helped me escape into a world of my own,
My sense of where I am fades away when I taste the liquor.
Some days I drink it straight when no one is around,
Other days I put some juice in it to drown the smell of the liquor.
My son Steve must hate me and I’m the cause of it all,
My problems have affected him and torn our family apart.
He doesn’t trust me and I don’t blame him at all,
He’s tried numerous times to help me but I’m intoxicated most days.
Most days turned into every day as the years went on,
Hiding bottles in all different places in the house.
Under my mattress, inside of pillow cases,
In between towels in the closet, I’m a disgraceful alcoholic.
When Steve would find my bottles and pour them out,
I would resort to putting them in the trunk of my car.
After a while, running to the car saying you forgot something got old,
Then I started being followed to the car to see what I’m getting.
Becoming argumentative and paranoid at everything,
It’s the main reason why my first husband left me.
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