Laura McHale Holland

Biographies & Memoirs, Literature & Fiction

Author Profile

Laura McHale Holland

Thank you for stopping by, dear book lover. In addition to being an author, I edit full time for a financial services publication, copyedit for novelists in my Northern California community, and serve as a judge for short fiction contests run by a New York creative arts organization. I've published four books so far: two memoirs, a collection of flash fiction, and an anthology on sisterhood that contains the work of 76 writers from across the globe. In the works is a novel (literary fiction, magical realism set in Illinois, where I grew up). It's with an editor right now, and I can't wait to see her comments. ... You might be surprised to know books were a rarity in my childhood home; nobody in my family read for pleasure. Yet I always loved the spoken word. I would remember things people said and turn them over in my mind, just enjoying the sound of them. Attending a story workshop in college, where excerpts from contemporary literature were read aloud, galvanized my love of the written word—and here I am, decades later, hoping my work sparks your imagination and takes you on a memorable journey.

Books

Laura McHale Holland

Working Title: Just in Case

This Book Is In Development

Just in Case

Literature & Fiction

Imagine a world where shadows of enchantment instantly render ordinary experiences eerie, terrifying or sublime, and where the unexpected becomes the norm. The twelve short-short stories in Laura McHale Holland’s Just in Case comprise a universe where a wife betrayed relishes a savage revenge; a much maligned character finally has his say; a cozy family scene chills the blood; a couple chugging toward retirement takes a bold U-turn; a curious relative cannot leave a half-human, half-Big Foot baby alone; and more. The dark, often revealing themes in this collection marry exquisitely with the precise flash fiction form, offering a full reading experience in few words. If you enjoy engaging, short reads with deliciously poetic prose, plenty of imagery, and context left to the imagination, you’ll love the concise gems found in Just in Case.

Rough-Cut Book Bubbles from Just in Case

What to include?

This little book, Just in Case, is going to be a collection of short short stories, some of which have been published previously, some of which are brand new. I published this story, Still There, in my flash fiction collection titled The Ice Cream Vendor's Song. It also appeared in the anthology No Contest, published by Redwood Writers. I'm uncertain whether I should include it in this collection or write something new that's just as good. There's always a little fear running in the back of my mind that I won't be able to create anything new that's worthwhile. Does that happen to you, too? I think I'll write a few more stories and leave decisions about what to include till a bit later down the road.

Just in Case

I love reading and writing very short stories. Do you? They're easy to dip into when you don't have time for or aren't in the mood for a long read. Their effects, however, can linger long after the stories are read. People call this form flash fiction, micro fiction and short-short fiction. When this tiny collection is finished, the ebook version will become the new gift I give to folks who join my readers group via my website, http://lauramchaleholland.com. I'll also make it available for sale in electronic and print formats—and maybe even audio too. Since it will be a small book, doing an audio version might not be as daunting.

Sisters Born, Sisters Found

Biographies & Memoirs

Sisters Born, Sisters Found: A Diversity of Voices on Sisterhood reveals the core of female hearts, divulges secrets, and captures poignant, compelling, complex relationships. This vibrant collection of work from across the globe isn’t only about blood sisters or women who like each other. Sisters can bond over movie nights. Stuff snails down each other’s throats. Steal each other’s clothes—and lovers. Scrounge for food together, tell stories together, work magic together—even kill together. Seventy-six gifted writers explore all of this and more is in the memoirs, short stories, essays and poems that form Sisters Born, Sisters Found.

Book Bubbles from Sisters Born, Sisters Found

Mud Pies and Escargot

Do you know anyone who grew up with siblings who didn't get into fights with them—some so intense, parents became involved, for good or ill? This hilarious excerpt from Sara Catalina Dorame Bard's contribution to "Sisters Born, Sisters Found" is likely to bring back memories for some of you along these lines, and, I hope, amuse those of you who didn't have a sibling who tricked you and humiliated you on occasion. And to digress a bit, based on what is going on in the United States at the time I'm writing this, it seems our leaders in Washington are acting more like the girls in this memoir than the leaders they were elected to be. And there's no parent to run to.

We Have Today

No matter what we may have lost or missed in the past, this short memoir by Paige Adams Strickland is a great reminder of how important this very moment is. She found a birth family that includes siblings she never shared holidays with in her youth. She could have been stuck in resentment about that, but she moved forward and has an expanded family to celebrate with now. I hope your days are joyous this holiday season while you do those extra things that make the holidays fun. I'm signing off now to bake muffins to give to our neighbors and then wrap presents.

Sister Act

This book bubble shares an excerpt from Sister Act, a short memoir of Christmas that Vicki Batman contributed to Sisters Born, Sisters Found. It's the kind of writing that takes you back to childhood with her and tickles your funny bone while also touching your emotions in a tender way. I don't have room to include the memoir in its entirety, but I hope there's enough here to warm your heart and bring to mind some of your own fond memories. I realize we don't all have happy memories. The anthology as a whole presents a range of perspectives and emotions in memoir, poetry, short fiction and narrative nonfiction.

Echoes From the Heart

Paradise, California is on fire; 175 miles away, we shudder at the memory of fires that ripped through our community last year, a devastation many are still struggling to recover from. South of here, 430 miles or so, people in Thousand Oaks are grieving after the gunning down of a dozen young people who were enjoying a night out at a country bar. And through my tears, I am reminded of how resilient we human are. People rebuild after fires; striken families work together to prevent further violence. Mary J. Kohut's memoir excerpted here reminds me of that resilience. She had such a sad start in life, yet grew up to have a happy life and marriage, and raised five beautiful children. She maintained a purity of heart that shone through all her days. Her son submitted the memoir on her behalf long after she'd passed away. It was done on a typewriter and tucked away for years.

Pink Moment

When the world seems tense, confusing, trying, topsy turvy, and downright mean, a poem can help us pause, breathe deeply and be reminded of the world's beauty, the wonder of relationships and the many other blessings in our lives, small and large. Re-reading "Pink Moment" by Dianalee Velee uplifted me today. I hope it brings you pleasure, as well.

The Truth of It

This excerpt from Dipika Kohli's essay "The Truth of It" recounts in eloquent detail the subtle and not-so-subtle feelings she wrestled with when faced with a gut-wrenching decision during her first pregnancy. It was a time she had anticipated would be joyous and affirming, but it turned out to be the opposite. She made a choice. Some of us would have reached the same decision had we been in her shoes; others would not have. Can we learn to live side by side with those with whom we disagree?

Unlikely Sisters

This excerpt from Karen Levy's exquisite memoir "Unlikely Sisters" speaks to the human bond that transcends differences that often feel too great to overcome. In this time of divisiveness in the United States, I sometimes return to this memoir and other contributions to the Sisters Born, Sisters Found anthology because they remind me of our common humanity, our strength of spirit, our ability to overcome and continue on our paths in life in a spirit of acceptance and even joy. – Karen Levy is an Israeli-American writer who spent her childhood traveling between her native land and the United States.

Outside the Circle

I have two sisters, and while I know it's next to impossible that we'll all die at the same time, I do not want to contemplate what life would be like without them. They are two of the biggest blessings in my life. That isn't the case for all sisters, though. This excerpt from "Outside the Circle" by Ana Manwaring reveals a sisterhood experience that is the opposite of mine, one both harmful and bitter. If I'd experienced something like this, I don't know how forgiving I'd be able to be. How about you?

Lentil Soup

I love the way this memoir excerpt by Maria de Lourdes Victoria pulls the reader in with the first sentence: "Nobody knows how to make lentil soup like my sister." The statement expresses feelings of pride similar to those many of us feel about people we hold dear, yet it is also specific to Maria's life experience and relationship with her sister. Then, the story unfolds in a lyrical way, as Maria takes readers back to her childhood, revealing beauty of heart and soul that makes me want to read more and more. I hope you feel the same. Maria is an international, award-winning, bilingual author. She writes novels, short stories and bilingual children’s books. Her second novel, Beyond Justice (Más Allá de la Justicia), took third place for the prestigious Planeta Book Award, 2010.

Flotation Device

When I read Marie Millard's short memoir "Flotation Device," I knew right away I wanted to include it in this anthology. Marie, who is also an accomplished musician, has many skills as a writer, one of which is the ability to tickle our funny bones in delightful ways. In this piece, she also captures something universal about being a teenage girl. When I visualize the scenes she's created, I feel like I'm floating right down the river with lovable, ill-prepared Marie and her sister.

Scrambled Eggshells

This excerpt from Sisters Born, Sisters Found is a short memoir by Jean Wong, an award-winning author whose plays, poems and other short works have been produced locally in San Francisco's North Bay region many times. In her work, she deftly draws readers in with a combination of humor, an eye for telling details and the ability to convey deeper emotions that illuminate issues without getting preachy about them. I was delighted to accept this piece for inclusion in this anthology.

Greyhound Station

Working with 76 writers from around the world to curate, edit and publish the anthology Sisters Born, Sisters Found: A Diversity of Voices on Sisterhood was one of the most rewarding projects I've ever taken on. The memoirs, short stories, essays and poems about sisters born into the same family, as well as dear friends who formed sister bonds, create a fascinating whole. Our notions of who and what sisters are, are rooted in our own experiences. Bringing this book to life opened my eyes to the many nuances and rich diversity of perspectives that exist on sisterhood. This excerpt is a memoir by Olivia Boler titled "Greyhound Station." Olivia is a novelist living in San Francisco.

Reversible Skirt: A Memoir

Biographies & Memoirs

On the verge of losing his children after his wife ends her life, a desperate father remarries in haste to reunite his family. It's the 1950s. He is Catholic. Suicide is a sin. He tells his three little girls his new wife is their mother. Laura, a toddler, finds the woman strange and surprisingly bitter, but she trusts her father. Mommy must have changed, she thinks, like dough baking turns into bread. The truth, kept secret, festers. Years later, Laura's father is dying. His wife promises to love his girls as her own. Instead, she grows increasingly sadistic and vile. No one can stop her from doing harm. Nevertheless, Laura and her sisters are not defeated. Their father's wish that they stay together comes true, although not in the way he'd imagined. Reversible Skirt, a memoir, is the tender telling of a little girl's odyssey through an abusive childhood. If you like honest voices, characters that crackle with life, exquisite language, and true stories of strength in the face of adversity, you'll love Laura McHale Holland's heart-wrenching testament to the power of forgiveness and love.

Book Bubbles from Reversible Skirt: A Memoir

Love Is Forever

Sadly, Uncle John, "Unc," passed away two weeks ago. He has been important to my sisters and me all of our lives, and we will miss him greatly, but we also appreciate that he lived 98-1/2 good years. He was the most generous person I've ever met. This excerpt shows one of the ways he looked out for us after our father died and we were left in the care of our stepmother, who was rapidly spiraling downward and not up to the task of caring for three orphaned girls. I will always be grateful for Unc's love.

Cruelty and Cold, a Bitter Mix

I grew up in the Chicago area and during this week when temperatures have plunged far below zero across the Midwest, I can't help but think of children who might be unnecessarily harmed during this extreme weather. Most parents want to keep their children safe and warm, but there are some whose hearts seem to have frozen more solid than the ground outside. My stepmother was one such parent. She seemed to take pleasure in our misery, forcing us to the edge of physcal torture. I am grateful such lost souls are in the minority and I hope someday no child will ever suffer at the hands of someone who cannot refrain from doing harm.

Forgotten Children

I stopped in to pick up a few things at Oliver's Market, a community-minded grocery store nearby. Just inside the door were two barrels: one for warm coats, the other for non-perishable food. It reminded me I need to contribute to those drives, as well as to a few other local charities that make a huge difference in the lives of those who are suffering. I am fortunate that the holiday season is filled with laugher and love for me, and it's been that way for a long time. In childhood, however, I felt hopeless. My stepmother was incapable of caring for my sisters and me, and we were desperate. This excerpt is from Christmas morning when I was thirteen, two years after my father's death. If you donate food, you might ease a mother's stress and enable her to hug instead of harm her children if only for a day; if you donate a toy, you might bring a child you'll never meet many hours of delight.

A Compelling Voice Does It For Me

Powerful voices make all the difference to me when I settle in to read a book. That's also what makes the difference to me as an author. After I made the commitment to write my first memoir, Reversible Skirt, it wasn't long before a littlel girl's voice came through; it was my young child self (as close as imagination could recreate her) demanding my attention. The best decision I made was to listen to that voice. I often feel like that girl wrote the book, because she has a mission in the world that is connected to but separate from me, the adult, who has plenty of present-time concerns demanding her attention.

Adventures with Sisters

I published a blog post today about finding an old snapshot that fell from a nook when my husband and son-in-law were setting up a new TV. The photo is of my sisters and me when we were ages three, four and five. For most of our childhood, we shared a room that wasn't much bigger than a 9 x 10 rug. We were a unit, a tiny triumvirate. It was not a happy childhood for us, but like so many children experiencing trauma, we made the best of our difficult lives. This excerpt from Reversible Skirt recounts visits to a relative who had 27 acres where we could wander, fantasize and play, free from worries for the afternoon.

Adjusting to a New School

It's back to school time across the United States, which is a big adjustment for children who've had several weeks to participate in other activities—summer camp, sports and outdoor games, family vacations, lazing around. It's time to adjust to new teachers, new routines, and for some, whole new homes, communities and schools. Moving to a new community brings another layer of challenges, and for children who have already been through major disruptions and loss, even a move to a peaceful town with plenty of open space and good schools can cause distress. Did your family move when you were young? Mine did before I entered first grade, and I wasn't happy about it.

One suicide, multiple lives forever changed

The CDC issued a report in June 2018 stating that suicide rates increased in all but one U.S. state between 1999 and 2016. In Nevada, suicides declined by 1 percent; in North Dakota, they increased by 57 percent. There were 45,000 suicides in the United States in 2016 alone. Most of those people had family, friends and acquaintances who were affected. Each situation is different, but learning the specifics of one family can provide insight into the experience as a whole. My mother's suicide did direct harm to my sisters and me; our father; my mother's four siblings, their spouses and children; both of her parents; and her mother in law—all of whom loved her dearly. Others affected were her many friends from grammar school through college, her church community, her neighbors and her co-workers. Among other things, this excerpt from Reversible Skirt shows how my mother's suicide distanced my sisters, father and me from our mother's side of the family after he remarried, causing a chasm that could eventually be bridged but never closed.

The lasting harm of separation

After my mother committed suicide, I was separated from my father and sisters for a time. I was just two years old and thoroughly disoriented. I stopped even attempting to use the tiny vocabulary I had. This experience left a lasting and painful mark. We were reunited when my father remarried. Unfortunately, his new wife, whom we called "Mommy," was abusive. She and my father both favored physical punishment. She also was prone to tirades and blamed my sisters and me for every ill imaginable. My heart goes out to the wee ones crying out for their mothers in detention centers at the U.S. border and beyond today. I hope they are reunited soon.

Seeing the Good in an Abuser

My stepmother probably didn't know what a terrible parent she would be when she married my father. I think that's true of most people who becme parents and end up harming their children. I don't think they see it coming. They do not know they are capable of becoming monsters. And the times children share with abusive parents usually aren't all bad. This makes things ever so complicated. Love is woven into the relationship along with fear, grief, shame and other negative emotions. This excerpt shows a positive aspect of my stepmother, something that captivated me and left me awestruck.

I Love Chicago

The statement 'I love Chicago,' which begins this excerpt was true when I was a child, and it remains true today. I haven't lived there for more than 30 years, but no place will ever bump that city out of my heart. One of the books I keep by my bed is Brian Doyle's novel titled (no surprise) 'Chicago.' It captures the spirit of the people living there, the way they love their friends and neighbors so deeply, so naturally. This excerpt from my childhood memoir, 'Reversible Skirt,' takes place just before our family moved from the city I adored to a suburb where I found it difficult to fit in.

Relaxation, Repetition Help Memories Emerge

People have asked me how I was able to remember so many of the details included in my childhood memoir. A scientist who studies this kind of thing would likely have an informed, articulate answer. I can only say that I think part of it is a mystery. One of my sisters and I recall quite a bit from our earliest years; the other doesn't recall much that happened in her life till she was about five years old. I found, however, that it is possible to recall more than you think you can with a bit of effort. When writing Reversible Skirt, I would sit down, relax with pen in hand and visit one memory at a time. By this I mean I pictured the scene in my imagination, viewed it from my eyes as a child and observed without trying to force anything. Vivid details like the smell of Lemon Pledge or the feeling of too much cake in my tummy or the piercing look in my stepmother's brown eyes would strike me as the actions unfolded, and I jotted down what I saw and felt. Each time I visited a memory this way, I recalled a little more.

A Recurring Dream

I don't remember most of my dreams. Do you remember yours? By the time I drift into consciousness, knowledge of where I've gone in the night eludes me like the last whisps of morning fog high above. When I was small, however, I had a recurring dream. Well, it was actually a nightmare, and I've described it in this excerpt. Several years passed before I had a clue what was behind the dream. I believe this was one result of trauma my sisters and I experienced that the adults caring for us failed to help us with. In some ways, this books is a blueprint of what not to do when children you love experience trauma. What about you? Have you had recurring dreams or nightmares? Do you know what caused them?

A Safe Place

Directly after my mother's suicide, my sisters, father and I were separated. Then we were reunited at my grandmother's home, where our uncle also lived. It had only two bedrooms. I slept with our grandmother, Kathy and Mary Ruth slept on chairs put together and piled with pillows in the dining room, our uncle slept in his bedroom, and our father slept on the living room couch. I didn't notice how crowded we were. I only cared that for a time we were well loved.

A Formidable Father

My father was strict and imposing. It was never okay to cross him, which was fairly common in families during the Fifties and Sixties when I was young. He never told me he loved me, but I think this was because he had difficulty expressing his feelings. My sisters and I were also a constant reminder of our mother, whose suicide, I believe, he never came to terms with. Jokes were his preferred form of exchange when he was in a good mood. If he was in a bad mood, his belt said it all. But somehow I knew he cared deeply about my future. He wanted the best for me, and I always adored him.

A child with a message

What if your mother committed suicide when you were small, and your father was so wounded he pretended she'd never existed? What if tragedy struck again, and you were left in the care of an abusive stepmother? I yearned to tell this child's story. My story. But I would begin and stop—over and over. Then, one day, the little girl I used to be came to me much like Alice Walker described characters in her novels coming to visit her for a while, and that little girl spoke the only words she knew to be true, "Gramma loves me." I followed her voice and finally wrote my childhood memoir, Reversible Skirt, because she had a lot to say.

Resilient Ruin

Biographies & Memoirs

A teenage girl breaking free. A cunning classmate on the prowl. Can she recover after they collide? Orphaned as a child, fourteen-year-old Laura finally rebels against her abusive guardian. Living on dreams, rock ’n’ roll, and kisses in moonlight. She believes whatever comes next can’t be worse than what she’s already endured. She has no idea how far she will fall before she can build a better life. Resilient Ruin: A memoir of hopes dashed and reclaimed is a poignant personal story that recounts a rocky, ultimately inspiring journey. If you like brave, unaffected heroines; striking scenes and characters; and reversals that keep you turning page after page, you’ll relish this masterful memoir of survival and learning to forgive.

Book Bubbles from Resilient Ruin

A Welcome that Changed my Life

I began writing poems and songs as a teenager in a Catholic girls' boarding school where, for the first time in many years, I felt safe. I didn't think at the time I could ever be a poet, songwriter or any kind of writer, but the spark was there, and I pursued writing in time. I am happy that youths today have more role models of people pursuing marvelously creative endeavors than when I was young. This excerpt is from when I arrived at the school and received an unexpectedly loving welcome, one that made a lasting impression.

We Can Do Better for Women and Men

Watching Christine Blasey Ford's testimony yesterday brought up painful experiences from my past, as it did for many other women. I was targeted in an extremely harmful way when I was in high school. I was already vulnerable because of an unstable home life, and I had no clue what was coming. After an incident, cruelly premeditated on the boys' part, that some would call date rape in these times, my life took a downward spiral. My grades fell, I gained weight, I acted out in myriad ways. At one point, I ran away from home. This excerpt from Resilient Ruin is from when I was on the road, certain only that I wanted to escape from my life as it was.

Why Choose Cruelty?

What do you do when you have power over someone? We've all made choices in countless small moments when nobody was watching except the person or people we were interacting with. If a mom is home alone with a child, no one knows, for example, whether she says something snide and punishes a child who trips and falls while carrying a stack of dishes, or whether she checks to see if the child is okay and helps pick up the mess. In those moments, when I was a child, my stepmother habitually chose cruelty. This came to mind recently when I heard reports of government employees whose job it was to separate families at the border telling parents and children they would not see each other again, that the children would be adopted by U.S. families and the parents deported. No matter what we believe about the merits or lack thereof of government policies, there is no cause to add cruelty to the mix. In those moments when we have power, I hope one day we will all choose kindess, especially when no one is watching.

13 Reasons Why – Then and Now

I've been binge-watching "13 Reasons Why," and I'm struck by how brilliantly the Netflix series shows the impact bullying and sexual assault have not only on the immediate victims, but also on an entire community. Have you watched the series? Did it stir up old memories for you? My coming-of-age memoir, "Resilient Ruin" encompasses a time in my youth when I spiraled downward and then, finally, was able to begin climbing out of the dark pit that had enveloped me. I grappled with many of the same issues the youths in 13 Reasons Why do, but I was fortunate technology had not advanced to where children could blast hurtful images and words to hundreds of classmates in an instant. This excerpt is from just before my downward spiral began, when a friend who had dumped me for no reason wanted to reconcile. I had to decide whether to be her friend again. Have you ever been in a similar position?

Sneaking Around, Making Out

Did you ever have a crush on someone you weren't allowed to date? What did you do? Did you see your sweetheart in secret or did you try to move on? Since my first crush, Pete, was two years ahead of me in high school, I wasn't allowed to date him. He and I were so smitten with each other, though, that we often met after school in a church bell tower, and since we were alone, flirting and making out were basically all we did. It would have been more fun and healthier if we could have gone to movies and dances with friends like other youths did, a number of whom were couples with two-year's difference in their ages. How long do you think Pete's and my relationship lasted?

First Big Crush

What was your first kiss like? Were you tense, blissful, excited, apprehensive? Do you recall the taste of your flame's lips, the intoxicating smell of his or her skin? Were you in love? Were you a willing participant or were you pushed into it? Did you think it was wonderful—or weird? This excerpt from my coming-of-age memoir, Resilient Ruin, shows the afternoon when I met Pete, my first big crush. I thought Todd would be the first boy I'd kiss, but life is always surprising us, and like many teens, my feelings about someone could change in an instant. I remember goosebumps and giggles the afternoon Pete and I finally kissed. That moment, which I look back on fondly, comes shortly after this excerpt from the book.

The Sweetest Friendship

When you're a teenager and your home life is chaotic, and your guardian is abusive, it's absolutely wonderful to have friends who welcome you to their homes, no questions asked. You can let go of your own troubles for a while, and even if your friend's family is flawed (and whose family isn't) being there is just the sweetest thing. This excerpt shares one of those friendships.

After you leave, then what?

I felt off when I awoke this morning, but nowhere near as low as I used to go in my youth. Back then, despair was ever present. I did many impulsive things in an attempt to rid myself of anguish, including run away when I was sixteen. I soon found it's easy to leave, but difficult to figure out what to do next.

Enough!

Children who are abused often grow accustomed to ill treatment and view it as normal because it is all they've known. They do their best to navigate around it while longing for love that isn't there. The abuse is so much a part of them, the scathing words they've heard and ongoing pain echo with every beat of their hearts. Occasionally, something snaps, and a young person rises up and says, "Enough!" This excerpt is from one of those moments in my life. It was before I left for school on a winter's morning when I was fourteen years old.

The Story Begins

Resilient Ruin begins when I was with hundreds of classmates looking forward to letting loose at our eighth grade graduation dance. I had typical concerns about popularity and weight but had always been an excellent student. School was one place I could focus no matter what was going on at home. I couldn't have anticipated the heartbreak ahead.

First Dance

I expect many of us felt awkward at our first dance. Did you? My first twirl on the dance floor was on eighth grade graduation day, a time when my friends and I were looking forward to a long summer break before the high school adventure began. This scene is written in first person, present tense. So is the rest of the book, which made it easier for me to revisit memories and make them come alive.

Mixed Blessings

This excerpt makes me think of how mixed so many of our life experiences are. My father’s death was a loss of incalculable magnitude. I expect he thought returning to the church would help us carry on after he was gone. I doubt he envisioned we would join a Protestant congregation where he would likely have felt even more out of place than I did. But then, through this new church, I met a wonderful girl who helped me enjoy normal things my stepmother (whom I had to call Mommy at the time) had forbidden me from doing.

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