This is Not for You reveals a childhood of raw encounters with drug abuse and mental illness. This is Not for You is a memoir which vividly describes the memories of growing up in a dysfunctional environment and how these circumstances developed a spirit within the narrator. This is a story of resiliency and drive to overcome the extreme adversities that addiction and poverty can create in the life of a young child.
We are all faced with choices. This is a vivid example of the experiences that helped guide me to be relentless in seeking "calmness".
When I read this chapter I am reminded of the darkness in this time. The resiliency of children amaze me. My intuition as a child helped guide me through some very difficult times.
Growing up in such a dysfunctional environment left me always expecting the worst as a child. This time in my life was extremely painful. Looking back now as an adult, I realize it was equally dangerous as well. When drug addiction and mental illness collide the outcome is devastating to children.
One of the major challenges in writing a memoir is moving beyond the reality that people you know and love will read what you've written. Of course I had to stick to my actual memories without developing fictitious details, but more importantly I had to preserve the experiences of my siblings, especially Crystal. I worked diligently not to tell their stories, but stick to my own experiences.
Kids need acceptance especially at school. Alienation, either self inflicted or not, will cause children to withdraw from situations. Sometimes school is the only place that is "normal" for a child so when a kid doesn't feel accepted there where else can they go?
My memories come to me in segments. It was important that I put them down for my readers the way I experience them, like scenes in a movie.
This is my first memory of living with my mother after many years. Throughout the memoir I used vivid imagery to recreate my memoires. When writing I focused on closing my eyes and studying the memory to portray the most realistic perspective I could.
Throughout my memoir This is Not for You, I have created flashes of memory similar to watching old slides or flipping through Polaroid pictures.
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