Authorpreneur Dashboard – Susan Rodgers
Promises
Romance
Promises is the second book in the Drifters series, following A Song For Josh. Jessie Wheeler's past catches up with her as an old nemesis settles in Vancouver, threatening to destroy any chance at the singer's newfound happiness. But Jessie is an old hat at acting. She has picked up the habit of disappearing inside herself and creating characters in order to help herself survive. Backed into a corner by Deuce McCall, she relies on a tougher version of herself to help her through the dark days while she seeks a solution to free herself of Deuce's clutches. As she tries to gain a foothold in her struggle, one thing becomes clear - she may have to risk everything she has found - friendships, love, a successful career as a singer / songwriter and actor - in order to save the one thing she loves the most. "Love is a promise, love is a souvenir, once given never forgotten, never let it disappear." John Lennon
Book Bubbles from Promises
Moving on
Some of my favorite scenes in the books are when the whole Drifters gang gets together. Essentially the books are about friendship, and this excerpt is a good example of just hanging out and having fun with friends, enjoying some good times and positive relationships. When I lived in Vancouver for a year to attend film school, I used to go walking in a park in Coquitlam. One day a lady rushed out of a trail, her eyes wide and frightened. She was screaming, "Bear!" Well, I grew up in a tiny eastern Canadian Province where there are no bears. I left the park. I only went back once, and I swear I could smell the bears around me. This theme comes up a few times in the books - a fear of bears, being watched by bears. In this case, the real bear is, in fact, Jessie's stalker. In the end, he is much more frightening than the real thing.
Second Chances
It's one thing to mess up in private, or in your own small corner of the world. It's quite another to mess up publicly and become the world's bad boy. When Drifters starts a full time press tour, Josh and Jessie are a new couple. Josh knows his shady past will never be fully behind him, but the world is slower to forgive than he had hoped. I can't imagine what it must be like to have your life on display for others to interpret and judge. As a writer, it's been fun to sit back and develop the Drifters novels from my quiet office in my cozy house in a small city in eastern Canada. Sometimes I feel like I am hiding away! So I can imagine Josh's discomfort when a well-known TV interviewer threatens him in front of millions. The novels have given me a new perspective on celebrity. I feel very protective of Josh and Jessie and how the world sees them. Some celebrities may ramp up their lives for the sake of PR, but I'll bet there are more than a few out there who might prefer, like Josh and Jessie, to just be left alone.
Sometimes the Bad Guys Are Grey
My uncle Leo read my first book, A Song For Josh. His comment? "That Deuce McCall is a really bad guy." This caught me off guard because I never think of Deuce as all bad. In fact, I think of him as pretty grey. Promises, Book Two of the Drifters series, brings the reader a little deeper into Deuce McCall's past. He becomes someone we can all identify with, even on the teensiest level - someone who struggles with who he is and who others believe he is. He fights to overcome his own sense of failure as he sees himself in his father's eyes. He thinks he can redeem himself by attaching himself publicly with Jessie Wheeler, a woman so beloved by the world that perhaps his association with her would somehow lever his own image a little higher. Yet on some deep level he knows he can never 'win' Jessie. So he tries to coerce her into becoming his but his temper and self-loathing get in the way. Does this make him a bad man? No. The truth of who Deuce is just makes him sad and terrible, terribly lonely.
A Moment To Remember
When life gets tough we forget to cherish the simple moments. Magical dots, they connect our lives in ways that make them more meaningful. This excerpt is one of those cherished times for Jessie and Josh who, after an absence, are reunited. Both have fought hard for what they now share, and so they are acutely aware that each moment must be savoured. Everything about their time together is hyper-sensitive…touch, breath, music. I especially like the reference to children and lost pets. I grew up a lot when my dog Corky was struck by a car. I remember playing with him the evening before, trying in vain to teach him to fetch a ball. I remember feeling happy. I remember being banished to the bedroom the night our neighbour came over to tell our parents. The next day, after Corky's futile fight was lost, I went to school in tears. Soon there were new hurts to pile on top. There's something sacred about childhood. Learning to cherish the moments that remind us of those lost days? Absolutely imperative. But the onus is on us to reach out and grab that brass ring when it's held within our grasp.
Exquisite, Extraordinary Beauty
Life balances out…or does it? In this passage Jessie is experiencing one of life's sweetest pleasures…true love. But she is reminded of a dark and dangerous past, one that is unforgiving. I find the theme of light and dark fascinating. Perhaps we enjoy the sweetest pleasures more when we know what can be lost. I know that I myself try to remember that life is a gift. Do I worry? Yes, all the time…about money, about whether my books will sell, about whether I will ever get to make a feature film. tely Are those things worth worrying about? I have friends who have lost children this year; today I found out an old school friend's husband was just diagnosed with cancer. When I am done writing my last book bubble of the day I am going to go brush my lips against my partner Steve's neck, and relish his post-holidays Indiana Jones look, then we'll make dinner and snuggle up in a warm room on this bitterly cold day. Those are the moments worth cherishing, if only because we know how ultimately and perfectly sweet and rare they truly are. That they won't last forever...
Second chances
Kayla, Josh's sister, has become one of my favourite characters in the Drifters books. She has a childish aura that keeps her young even at the seasoned old age of twenty-five. In this excerpt, as a dancer in Jessie's company, she is chatting with the singer after brunch one morning. Kayla is wondering why Jessie believed in Josh at a time when no one else did. Kayla and Jessie don't often have chats alone, but this is an opportunity for them to connect over someone they love. In this passage Jessie leaks a little of her lonely past to Kayla, who is so closely connected to Josh that Jessie's reveal feels safe to the singer herself. As the story continues Jessie again turns inward - she doesn't feel she has a choice. So this rare connection with Kayla is fraught with meaning. It's rare for Jessie to give anything of herself away. For the most part she chooses to live in her own isolated bubble where she feels the most safe and secure.
Oh Holy Night
"Oh Holy Night" has long been my favourite Christmas carol. Midnight Mass is sacred when a soloist shares his or her gift of song with a humble congregation on a star-kissed Christmas Eve. One year in church here in little Summerside, Prince Edward Island, a young soloist struggled through the treasured carol, and my mind wandered to Jessie, as it often does during peaceful times. It occurred to me that she is exactly the kind of person to 'rescue' a troubled soloist. In this excerpt she does it with grace and dignity, not upstaging him, but instead standing by his side as an equal. For all her faults, Jessie is a remarkable person. She has the ability to love everyone without prejudice, to find something in everyone worth loving. This year at Midnight Mass, guess where my mind will be as I listen to the highs and lows of the beautiful carol the on the holiest night of the year...
There is always hope...
I love that Jessie continues to inspire Josh to be a better person, even on the darkest days. On this day, it's her voice and belief in hope that keeps him from losing his mind. Somewhere deep within his heart her voice still soothes and calms him. I've learned a lot from writing Jessie's story. She's permeated my own heart and soul and, like any writer, I feel like I know her - my main character - well. When I have down days, I call upon Jessie's strength and her unfailing belief in hope, and it helps me carry on.
No Greater Love
Romance
Third Book in the Drifters series, after A Song For Josh and Promises A lonely man works to help the homeless on the Downtown Eastside in Vancouver – it is his way of telling his old friend, Jessie Wheeler, that he cares about her world and what’s important to her. Meanwhile, Jessie has made a choice that reverberates around the world. Upon finding Josh - the love of her life - in a smelly garbage pile, she told him there is always hope. Now she clings to that advice herself, hoping against hope she will find her way back to him, to Josh, to the man whose chestnut hair she loves to tuck behind his ear, the man who helped her find a reason to live again. Jessie’s world implodes when she must reconcile the old with the new. A dangerous stalker provides a match that fuels the flames of a tragedy, and the true meaning of sacrifice is inadvertently revealed. “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” - King James Bible (John 15:12-13)
Book Bubbles from No Greater Love
All Kinds of Love
(Spoiler Alert!) Jessie's French friend Katrine has a way with words. She isn't afraid to tell it like it is, no holds barred. So when Jessie invites her out for coffee, Katrine fires with both barrels. What I like about Katrine is that, despite her up-front nature, she has a wisdom that is always percolating beneath her choices. She is one of those rare souls you meet who seems to have been around for many lifetimes. She speaks honestly - perhaps that is part of her charm. Her wisdom allows the truth to flow and find acceptance in the listener. Today I found myself describing a friend of my son's this way and, as I was thinking about people like him and Katrine, I realized they are rare. So when they speak (through words or song, as my son's friend does), we owe it to ourselves to listen.
Moving on
On the radio this morning the announcer introduced a song by talking about new couples and how they need to learn to share honest emotions with each other. This can be the hardest thing about learning to love - letting go of those parts of ourselves we normally keep hidden for fear of reprisal or judgment. Josh is now with Michelle but he's distant, and it makes her lonely and curious. In this excerpt her constant prodding and natural curiosity finally elicit a response - but not necessarily the one she is hoping for. I love how Josh just lets go here. I love his honesty. Despite knowing he will hurt Michelle with the truth, he also feels she deserves the truth, and it's that type of character trait that makes him one of the good guys. But it also imbues him further in a cloak of stubborn, proud pain, in Michelle's eyes, and in ours.
Just Breathe
Jacob has something Josh does not. He has a connection to music that entwines him in and around Jessie's soul. At this low point in her life Jessie is lost and alone. Music is what keeps her going and what serves to provide her an island to float on - Jacob - while time heals some very deep wounds. This third book of the Drifters series started out in my head as its own story. I dreamed about Jacob (and, to be honest, it was Jakob Dylan for some weird reason, although I know nothing about the guy and have no idea what he even looks like). In the dream we were hanging out in Belgium at a music festival, sitting by a campfire picking out tunes on guitars. At some point over the years Jessie's story merged with that old dream. I moved the story to Scotland because I once travelled there and knew the terrain and, on some level at least, the language! Exploring Jacob gave me the opportunity to deeply connect Jessie to someone besides Josh. Maybe one day Jacob will have his own novel. He has become a very beloved character in the Drifters story.
Children
Spoiler alert! Well, this was easy for me. Where would Jessie go if she needed a break? I had to think about where I would go. If I ever disappear, come look for me at a children's home in China. My sister, who is the mother of the two most adorable children of Chinese heritage (one from Ningdu, of course), tells me these homes are no longer called Orphanages. But Jessie knows them as such. And she is pretty much an orphan from the time she is twelve, or maybe fourteen, depending on how you look at it. She connects with the children in Ningdu, with their sadness and with their joy. She treasures her time in their company, she relishes her anonymity, she revels in hugs by little arms. She needs this respite. Who has not beheld a child's innocence and felt true love and true joy? Love one another. Spend time with children. Your worries may not disappear, but they will temporarily abate. Suddenly - life will make sense.
Charlie
In the first book of the Drifters series, A Song For Josh, Charlie is revealed as a man without a lot of depth. In some ways he is a rather stereotypical playboy. But by the time No Greater Love opens, he is a man who has experienced loss. It changes him. He grows. From the beginning I've known that Charlie has redeemable qualities. But he truly begins to shine in this, the third book of the series. He is a likeable man who learns the hard way to take the high road, to treasure friendships and to appreciate the trials of others. This simple scene with Alfred always strikes me as some kind of bridge uniting Charlie with someone as far from his station in life as can be possible. Their eyes are the same. Sad. Hurting. Struggling to survive despite great loss. Suddenly Charlie has a soul mate on the streets which before he feared to tread. And karma pays him back in spades.
The Angel Oak
I've always felt some inexplicable connection to the city of Charleston, South Carolina. I proudly display a state license plate on the front of my car. Many moons ago I picked up a novel about the American Civil War and it captivated me. Many years later my amazing man and I finally wandered the hallowed streets of that beautiful historic city, myself limping because I had endured knee surgery three weeks prior and I wasn't healing quickly. But I didn't care. In the Drifters books Charleston becomes a place of duplicity for Jessie. She loves the city; she fell in love there and was rebuilding her life when a tragic experience resulted in a hasty exit. Years later she peels away the layers of pain, discovering that the historic old city is a survivor, just like her. This passage about her visit to the angel oak reveals that she still loves Charleston, she will always love Charleston. Someone there once hurt her - but Charleston itself remains in her heart as a place of renewal. And it becomes that again in No Greater Love when once again it's time to heal.
Meet Jacob
Jacob is a character we come to know in the third book of the Drifters series. Through him I'm able to share my own love of music. Years ago I worked in radio and also as a DJ in a University club (St. FX in Nova Scotia) and then in a club in Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island. I get a huge kick out of the fact that my son is now a singer / songwriter whose band Rebel On A Mountain let me borrow their name for Jessie's favorite coffee shop in the Drifters books. In this passage there is also a character called Spot Bob. I had a friend by that name who was a spotlight operator at our local performing arts theatre. He passed away suddenly the day before I started writing No Greater Love, so I dedicated the book to him because he believed in me even when I didn't. I also gave him a cameo. He provides the light that bathes Jacob on stage at a time when Jacob himself has great doubts about his future. Here's to you, Spot Bob! And here's to the healing power of music :)
A Song for Josh
Romance
Music has the power to heal. Discovered while busking on the streets of Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside, Jessie Wheeler – once a teen runaway from Prince Edward Island - is now a popular singer-songwriter and actor. On the day her boyfriend Charlie proposes, he kicks an estranged friend - actor Josh Sawyer - out of his Club. Jessie sees something of herself reflected in Josh’s sorrowful chocolate brown eyes – a deep loneliness and angst. When a part on Josh’s new television series Drifters becomes available, Jessie can’t resist the temptation, despite the fact that taking the part threatens her engagement to Charlie. When a past nemesis, Deuce McCall, makes a tragic appearance in the city, Jessie’s turbulent past catches up with her, threatening any chance she has at a true and sustainable love. A Song For Josh is a simple sweet story about hope and love, and the power of music to heal. Through Josh and Jessie’s story we learn that all of us damaged souls are indeed lovable, even when we are quite certain we are not.
Book Bubbles from A Song for Josh
Camelot
I avoid going to wakes at all costs. I guess I'm just too sensitive - I don't like them. I think too much at wakes. I once went to a wake and couldn't put two thoughts together. I went through the line, sincerely grasped the hands of the family members assembled there, and said "Thank you" to each and every one. So this story about Jessie is based on truth. Occasionally we mumble things that make no sense but the sentiment behind what we say is still heartfelt and sincere. Later in this excerpt Josh experiences the wisdom and self-control of a mother in mourning who, amidst her own grief, manages to toss him a beacon of hope. Sometimes, despite ourselves and the harsh world in which we live, we manage to find beauty in the strangest of places.
Trust
In my life I've often noticed that the people who've come to be good friends are those who haven't given up on me. They stay the course and don't let me push them away with excuses or my usual 'keep 'em at a distance so they don't get to know the real me so I never disappoint them' shtick. I think a lot of us do that. In the Drifters books, which are ultimately about friendship, trust and hope, Jessie finally opens herself up to someone - Stephen, who becomes her very good friend and the first anchor that ties Jessie to new and enduring relationships. In this scene she is starting to realize that Stephen is someone she doesn't have to be afraid of, whom she can trust with a deep secret that has troubled her soul for years. This scene is pivotal in that this first simple truth becomes the first real bond of friendship Jessie allows herself to have on the Drifters set, and in her lonely life.
Charlie's Angels
Charlie Deacon isn't a bad guy, at heart. He just takes a lot for granted. I'm not sure where this scene came from, except that I've always felt a little sorry for celebrities whose names end up being raked through the tabloids for stunts their partners pull. Jessie already knows her relationship with Charlie isn't A-1, but she's long accepted it, for many reasons. Trouble is, her fiancé's wild side still impacts her emotions. On this day, she arrives at the Drifters base camp only to discover a tabloid featuring her man on the front cover in a compromising position with a few ladies. This drives Jessie to pull a diva move - she insists on doing a difficult stunt that the production has hired a stuntwoman to do. It involves racing horses - hey, it's a period show! In the end, Josh is the only person on set who has the guts to call it like it is - in front of the assembled cast and crew. The day becomes famous in Drifters lore, and changes the beat of Jessie's involvement in both the show as well as within her new circle of friends.
Drifting Into Sleep With Music
As long as I can remember, I've fallen asleep with stories running around and around in my head. I'm not sure how or why this started, but it's a practice I still follow today. Jessie and Josh still go through lots of fun scenarios when the moon is waxing outside my bedroom window! My son Christopher, a musician in Vancouver, once told me that he does the same with music. So it was just a logical part of Jessie's soul that she, too, falls asleep to music, which is her salve on tough days as well as her hope. I like that she believes her music may come to her via her dad. Whether or not this is possible, it helps Jessie maintain a link with the kindly father she lost when she was twelve. In many ways David Wheeler was Jessie's first soul mate. His greatest gift to her was music, and she does not let him down. She promotes healing by sharing this magical gift with the world.
On Set Memories
My good friend Joady was an AD on the set of a period show called Emily of New Moon. Part of her job was to follow the actors as unobtrusively as possible so she could quickly call them to set when needed. I remember one occasion when two of the actors were not on the best of terms and so they took off in different directions, avoiding Joady. She and another AD were on walkies whispering like spies as they tried to tail the difficult actors. Most of the crew wore walkies on that show. I was working in on-set wardrobe continuity and could hear the ADs struggling to keep 'eyes' on the cast. I never forgot that particular day, and so when I started to write about Jessie on the set of Drifters, I thought it might be fun to give readers a real sense of the on-set experience. I love the segment about the gummy bears. Jessie would still have been very lonely at this time, and would have spent a lot of precious moments with only her own thoughts for company. I like that, despite her loneliness, she was still able to find laughter in her heartache.
Ringlets and Smiley Faces
When Jessie's childhood 'ends' at age twelve, so does any real parenting. As a result, her adulthood is imbued with a childlike innocence revealed through hand drawn smiley faces drawn with a Sharpie on yellow plaid sneakers, and through the constant twisting of ringlets in her hair and clothing when she's anxious. I'm not sure where the smiley faces on the sneakers came from - did I do that at one time? Maybe. I do own yellow plaid Converse Chucks! Not that I'm anything like Jessie, but I suppose on some level we do think alike! The ringlet twisting came from my sweet niece Lana (she's just about to turn nine), who has often been spotted with a bunny baby blanket in her arms, a tiny finger twisting the hem around and around. This excerpt features Charles Keating, Jessie's Producer and pseudo-adopted father. In moments when her childlike behaviours are obvious, he finds his mind wandering to the sordid mysteries of Jessie's mysterious past. Twisting ringlets and drawing smiley faces on the toes of sneakers are reminders of what he's missed, and a call to action to pay attention in the future.
…but there was something about those eyes
Sometimes intuition plays a big part in fate. Jack Deacon only has to look in Jessie's eyes to know there is more to this scruffy girl than most people take the time to see. He has heard her music but he meets her at a time in her life when she rarely speaks, when she is a victim of a haunting, of sorts. Her music speaks volumes, but…in the end he chooses to take a chance on her because of what he sees in the depths of those pale blue eyes. I chose this 'discovery' for Jessie (as a homeless person) because I wanted this passage to inspire people to stop and reflect on how they see others, perhaps to give people a chance when it may seem they don't want it, or don't deserve it. Ultimately the Drifters novels are about hope and about learning to believe in yourself. Bonus? They are couched in a heartbreaking love story. Enjoy!
A Wilted Spirit
The loss of Jessie's father on her twelfth birthday marks the end of her childhood. This theme of loss is carried throughout all three books and in fact is one factor that drives the 'big' choice Jessie makes in Book Two, Promises. Jessie continues to see little rainbow prisms at times throughout her life - in the early mornings when the dew is fresh on the grass, or imbued in a rainy windowpane. They remind her that somewhere, somehow, her father is still with her. They give her strength. They give her hope.
Josh, a timeless boy
I love this introduction to Josh. I suppose as someone who questions the truths behind reincarnation, who has studied history, worked on a period television show, and was employed as a museum curator, I remain fascinated by the concept of time. Might we have met the people in our lives before? During other lifetimes? I don't know, but in describing Josh for the first time I feel like he is someone I may have known in another lifetime. I suppose that sounds corny, but there were so many 'winks from the universe' while I wrote these books that it's hard to completely dismiss such fantastical notions.
A walk amongst the homeless
This is one of my favorite passages in A Song For Josh. Throughout the books readers are reminded of Jessie's past. Experiences such as these keep her grounded and, in turn, serve to introduce Josh to Jessie's old world. That world is inextricably a part of her, of who she has become. She cannot outrun her past. But this is one thing I love about Jessie - she never wants to. She is more comfortable in this street level environment than as a singer / actor. I care about the homeless but I have no idea how to help them. Writing about the souls I saw every day during my year long residency in Vancouver is my way of memorializing them, and of trying to make sense of who these people were / are. Lighting them from above with streetlights is my way of exalting these people to a higher purpose than the one in which they've seemingly arrived during Josh and Jessie's visit to the streets. It's a reminder that each person is worthy of notice and care.
Terri
I chose this excerpt because it provides a nice introduction to Terri, a minor player who has a big impact on Josh and Jessie's lives. Also, I often describe 'light' in my books. As a filmmaker, it's something I have learned to notice - whether it's natural light working in weird and wonderful ways, or practical light that has been intentionally added for impact. In film school we learned to 'paint with light'. I often catch myself visualizing my characters with some kind of light source framing them, or backlighting them...to me it just adds a layer of visual art to the written word.
